My Favorite Movies

*cries like a new born babe in arms*

My apologies. I adore this film. That was the only method by which I could convey just how MUCH I adore this film. At the risk of sounding like a sentimental puddle of goop - Amelie is a gorgeous french fairy-tale of a film, with a delicious(accordian-flavoured) soundtrack courtesy of the wonderful Yann Tierson, and a liberal dose of pure, radiant originality. Spell-binding, oddly philisophical, heart-warming and yes.....(if you are a weakling like myself) tear-jerking.

An absolute triumph of British cinema.

Far, far, far too good to deserve it's classification as a "cult classic". This film is not just for cult-film fans to quote, gloat, and guffaw over. This film is a master piece of British comedy. This film should be an obligatory item on the national curriculum.

Should anyone attempt to criticise this clear work of literary, comedic, dramatic (and just about any other conceivable) genius then, in the words of Withnail himself: "the fucker will rue the day!"

This film deserves a galaxy of delicately frosted stars, sinking gracefully to the ground like so many perfectly-formed snowflakes while a choir of lost-souls sob their way through a piece of Danny Elfman's devising.

In a word - Breathtaking.

In more than a word - tragic, yet achingly beautiful. Wretchedly bleak, yet with undertones of a bleak hope.
This film *is* the very embodiement of that emotional lump in the back of your throat. With just one constriction of his tragic brow, one quiver of his lip, Adrien Brody has his audience inwardly (and perhaps outwardly) weeping themselves into pools of woe, wiping their dripping noses on their sleeves and wishing to God the suffering would end.
(Tell me when I have gone too far wont you?....)

To summarise: Best. Film. Ever.
(Well......joint anyway).

The moving, sometimes comical, and truly inspirational story of "not a very smart man."
With his endearing childlike naivety, his deep southern drawl, his irrepressible optimism and gentle spirit, his bizarrely logical and wise outlook on life and his insistence that you don't have to be smart to "know what love is" - Forrest Gump is the most memorable and loveable of characters.

The graveside scene, in which Forrest bares his soul (revealing the reflections of a very sensitive and introspective individual after all) ought to come with an emotional-wellbeing disclaimer.
*deep wracking sobs*
Bravo Tom Hanks.

In my own words:
AaaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

In their own words:
"A motion picture destined to offend nearly two thirds of the civilized world. And severely annoy the other third."

"The film that is so funny it was banned in Norway."

"Honk if you love Brian."

......................................
Including:

Reg....
"What have the Romans ever done for US?"
(......The Aqueduct?)

And the resistance:
"Fuck Off!...Judean People's Front?? We're the People's Front of Judea!"

Jesus on the hill
"Blessed are the cheesemakers?"

An ex-leper
" I was hopping along, minding my own business. All of a sudden, up he comes. Cures me....bloody do-gooder."

Caesar
"I have a vewy gweat fwiend in Wome called 'Biggus Dickus'."

Obnoxious big-nosed man
"I'm Brian - and so is my wife!"

Stan/Loretta - and his/her symbolic struggle for the right to have babies.
"you haven't got a womb! Where's the fetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?"

Not forgetting:
Brian
"I'm not the Messiah!"
( - "I say you are, lord, and I should know... I've followed a few.")

Plus Mr. Cheeky
"Cheer up you old bugger!"

And many, many more.

To summarise:
Always look on the Bright Side.

*ahem*
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - a review in several parts.

Part One:
Camelot! Camelot! Camelot!....
(It's only a model)

Part Two:
I ffffart in your general direction....You're mo-ther was a hamster and your fa-ther smelt of elderberries.

Part Five (oop - erm ...Three):
NI!

Part Four:
(What makes you think she's a witch?)Well she turned me into a Newt!.........
I got better.

Part Five:
Please! This is supposed to be an 'appy occasion. Let's not *bicker* and *argue* about who killed who.

Part Six:
A SHWRUBBERY!

Part Seven:
Strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony......

Part Eight:
Help! HELP! I'm being repressed.

Part Nine:
One day lad, all this will be yours......
(What? The curtains...?)

Part Ten:
'Tis but a scratch!
(A scratch? Your arm's off!)
No, it isn't!
(Well, what's that then?)
I've had worse.

Finis.
*Rapturous applause*

I cannot describe in words the bewitching beauty and enchanting magic that is this film. I thus refuse to even try.
Five stars - for Danny (Lord-of-the-Dance) Elfman's shiveringly gorgeous soundtrack alone.
I demand an additional five stars for Tim Burton's own curious artistry, his slightly macabre quirkiness, his elegantly warped and inimitable imagery.
As for the marrying of animation and sound together.......

(Let us just establish that I love this worthy creation with every fibre of my being - or we could be here counting out stars for a while).

There is one clear conclusion that may be drawn from this film; Charlie Kaufman is a bit of a loon. And I love him for it.

I don't quite know how, when, who, what, where or why: but this film is pure genius.
There was much potential for it to have been quite the opposite of genius. The main character, and thus the audience, spends the vast majority (no, let's be truthful - the whole) of the film in a fog of indistinct impressions - not *quite* being able to certify when something is happening, or indeed whether it is happening in real-terms at all. And yet we come away with a feeling of clarity, rather than confusion.
The film manages to be "deep" and "profound" without feeling pretentious or vomit-inducingly contrived (here Donnie Darko looms to mind).

Stark - and yet ultimately uplifting (with Jon Brion's musical score complimenting it very well); this film really is a thing of beauty.
*muses quietly in the corner for a while*

"The List Is Life"

I cannot review this; words truly do fail me.
Schindler's List is a film in a league of it's own, a sort of cinematic benchmark by which to judge all films of the same genre - well, all films of any weight or gravity really.

To my mind, Schindler's List *is* the story of the holocaust. It does not just relate the history of Jewish misery under the Third Reich, the film embodies it, almost creating a living, breathing account.


"Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire."

This is truly a thing of beauty, with its haunting, alluring, wistfully unfulfilled tone, set to the most moving musical score (which encompasses a multitude of emotions, being both melancholy and blithe, dark and light) courtesy of Michael Nyman. The imagery is heavy in symbolism, which I like. The Piano in question becomes not only the voice of the dispossesed and mute Ada, but the embodiement of her being, as well as a burden that keeps her ensnared. The acting from all three leads (Hunter, Keitel and Neil) is sublime.

Well - this is it. This single rating confirms my deepest fears and seals my fate.

Had I been able to restrain myself - given this film the three stars it probably deserves, or even allowed myself the four star rating that any sensitive young person may be forgiven for bestowing - things might have turned out alright.

But no.
I am an emotionally malleable sap. A pliable lump of sentimental dough. A wretched, wailing, tremulous creature, crouched in a dark corner - sobbing with wild, unchecked abandon, crying "O Captain! My Captain! " over and over.

The small rational (strangely John Cleese-like) voice at the back of my mind tells me that this is vomit-worthy pap. That it is the melodramatic, overblown, overacted, unrealistic story of a bunch of pretentious American rich kids - with lots of gratuitous poetry reaming and prancing about in a foppish, homo-erotic, clearly beat-uppable fashion.

But then the violent fit of tears drowns out this voice of reason, and before I have any say in the matter I am clambering onto my desk, screaming Carpe Diem! and awarding the film five stars anyway.

Que c'est beau !

Thoroughly charming. Quaint little story - with a lovely performance from Juliette Binoche, a brilliant display of misguided villainy from Alfred Molino, a pretty, colourful, vibrant musical score from Rachel Portman, Johnny Depp's face (and endearing faux-Irish accent) - and Chocolat. Lots and lots of Chocolat.

Summary: Rich and creamy - with a light smooth texture.

Raw. Gritty. Up-lifting. Bitingly funny. Beautiful.

Don't you judge me!

Quite simply - as good as it gets

*cheesey grin*
You're not getting any more out of me. This film is a "beaut" - that is all.

*sighs* Tale as old as Time.

Beautiful.

(Yes, lazy review. What else is there to be said? In terms of musical score, art-work and story board - it's the most gorgeous of all Disney creations. Well, it's in the top three at least.)

*hangs her head in deserved shame*

What can I say?
I'm weak.

Certainly the best damn RomZomCom *I've* ever seen.

More frilly, light-hearted Jane Austen goodness. Contains a wonderful cast - including a very decent performance from Gwyneth Paltrow, and an even "decenter" (shut-up) *coughs* performance from Jeremy (marry me) Northam.

*severe blush* All that remains to be said is; Rachael Portman provides another pretty little score and...Mr. Knightley is Darcy's equal - if not superior.

*twists and contorts uneasily on the spot* I know, I know. Audrey Hepburn's cockney impression is at the right pitch, frequency and 'shittity' to curdle several pales of milk. I know that Rex Harrison is old and peculiarly orange.

But how is anyone with even a whiff of romantic inclinations supposed to resist this? The love/hate relationship is a cliche, to be sure - but isn't 'cliche' just another word for "time-tested-audience-pleaser"?
And with songs such as "All I want," "Could have danced all night". "Street where you live," "I'm gettin' married in the mornin,'" "Just you wait 'enry 'iggins," "Grown accostomed to her face" and - one of my favourites, "Why can't the English learn how to speak?" - - what is there to complain of really?

Oh shush. I like cheese. Especially when it involves the inimitable, irrepressible, irreplaceable Rex Harrison.

To sum up: Loverly

Als das Kind, Kind war.

Brilliance.

Just because I'm a grown-up *shifty glance* does not mean I can't adore this film! And adore it I will! To prove my defiant adoration - a sample of the lyrical delights this "musical biography of the legendary vagabond story-teller" follows:

I'm Hans Christian An-der-sen!
(Dum di dum)

There once was an ugly duckling,
A-with feathers all stubby and brown,
And the other birds
(In so many words) said:
QUACK. Get out of town.
QUACK. Get out.
QUACK QUACK. Get out.
QUACK QUACK
Get out of town.
And he went with a quack
And a waddle and a quack
In a flurry of eiderdown.

Thumbelina, Thumbelina,
Tiny little thing
Thumbelina dance, Thumbelina sing,
Thumbelina, what's the difference
If you're very small?
When your heart is full of love
You're nine - feet - tall.

Wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Friendly old girl of a town
'Neath her tavern light
On this merry night
Let us clink! and drink one down
To wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen
Salty old queen of the sea
Once I sailed away
But I'm home today
Singing Co-pen-hagen
Wonderful, wonderful
Copenhagen for me.

(Not forgetting my personal favourite)
The King is in the all together
But all together the all together
He's all together as naked as
The day that he was born.
The King is in the all together
But all together the all together
It's all together the very least
The King has ever worn.

The King is in the all together
But all together the all together
He's all together as naked as
The day that he was born.
And it's all together too chilly a morn!

I love you Danny Kaye!
*weeps heartily*

I saw this completely by accident in the early hours of the morning. It was gloriously intelligent and funny, despite the dark subject matter; in fact, because of it. A really fresh and candid look at a controversial issue, making a point that should never be forgotten - the individual matters more than the principal.

AVAST! Who doesn't love a good swashbuckling, pirate-crammed, ghost-harbouring action/adventure story?

*answers her own rhetorical question*
Exactly. No one.
Casually lob an eccentrically camp Johny Depp performance in - swish it about with the astounding piratical talents of Geoffrey Rush - and you have struck Gold matey - -Yaaar.

(I ignore the presence of Knightley, and Bloom. And I think you should too.)

The most adorable, festive-sprirt inducing Christmas creation since the SnowMan.

Lovely.

I am a great fan of both Dreamworks, and Aardman. And yet "Flushed Away" still took me completely by surprise. It is utterly, utterly hilarious. The tears of mirth were rolling in abundance. Compelling and engaging from the very first moment - a true little gem.

You don't believe me do you? I know your type. Think that a CGI story about a mouse on a mishappen mission, which leads him on a voyage of personal discovery is just for the "children." Well, we were all children once. Chew on *that* for a while, you sour-faced, emotionally stilted hater of all things joyous.

Alternately - go and see for yourself.....

*swells with national pride*
The British know how to make a "zombie-movie". This is how it should be done.

Not even the Elton John soundtrack could spoil this for me.

Miguel and Tulio. Tulio and Miguel!
This is the most wonderful cartoon - do not let anyone convince you otherwise. Fabulous performances from Kline and Branagh truly shine through the film, bringing the swashbuckling, humourous, madcap advenure to life.

In one word: A Hoot.
(Yes, I realise that was two words. But one of them was the"article". What do you want from me?)

I groaned at the very thought of having to watch this. "How tedious" thought I to myself, like a plum fool - "another Matrix-esque Orwellian rip-off."

How very wrong I was. Well, yes - it is reminiscent of the Matrix - - aaand is strongly based on Orwellian concepts. But it's fantastic. I actually cared for the main character(s). In a sci-fi adventure. This is quite something. This is to be applauded.

*applauds accordingly*
Christian Bale is rather nice in this also. ...*ahem* that is to say...good.
*coughs* Well...acted Bale.