Noah Weinstein (nmweinstein)


Noah 's Recent Reviews


Iron Jawed Angels Iron Jawed Angels Unrated
Ok before I go into detail, I did not watch this movie by choice, this was a film shown to me in a U. S. History summer school class, the teachers intention was to teach about women's right but in the end this movie taught me how to NOT make a women's rights movie. God this movie was so lousy, it actually pissed me and my friend off that we were watching this sh*t. Everything about this film was a pure atrocity from its horrible directing to its poor acting to its painful editing to its unbearable music choices. There was literally a sequence with a women's rights protest that featured rock music when rock music wasn't even invented at the time. It also seemed hypocritical that the whole film was trying to prove women deserve rights yet every female character in this movie ( the protagonist in particular ) was portrayed as inferior and stupid. Overall, this was one of the worst movies ever made. I'm shocked HBO let them make this!
1/10
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes PG-13
Ok first thing I would like to know: who the f*ck thought this was a masterpiece?! I guess whoever said that must love corny dialogue, forced pathos, and plot hole after plot hole in this disappointing disaster of a movie, Dawn of the Planet of the Apes. I went into the theater expecting an amazing sequel to the incredible Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and what I got was Dawn of the Planet of the Apesh*t. First of all, the "apocalyptic earth" looked like the backlot of Universal Studios. Secondly, what was the story? Was there a story, thats beyond me. First the humans are trying to get power from a dam when they to begin with had power, then it turns into some animal kingdom power struggle (cough* Lion King ripoff) at the end. Then there trying to blow up buildings when the bombs don't work, then Cesar tells the human leader after the two evil forces stirring up tension between the two sides are dead that they're going to war with the humans anyway?! So many WTF moments, but despite these story problems, the absolute worst thing about this is the pathos. Ugh, every scene was trying too hard to be this somber tear jerker when almost every sequence except for maybe five came off so fake. What worked in Rise was that the apes were treated on a more natural and relatable level hence I loved every ape character. here it just felt like they were trying too hard to make us care about the characters to the point where I just didn't give two sh*ts about anyone. Overall, bad story and characters just made this the biggest letdown of the year! Just when I thought this franchise was about to get more awesome, man was I wrong.
3/10

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