My Favorite Movies

So what does the man who has seen thousands upon thousands of films consider to be his all-time favorite film of them all? Well, no big surprise, it's a horror film, but (GASP!!) also a remake? Yes, it's true. John Carpenter's dark, violent retelling of The Thing (a remake of 1951's The Thing From Another World, but a much truer retelling of the infamous book, Who Goes There) a normal, all-American male scientific expedition team that rescue a mysterious dog from crazed Norwegian gunmen, but get more than they bargain for in the form of an alien being capable of moving from organism to organism by replicating each one and embodying their traits. As the crew, including the great Kurt Russell, Wilford Brimley, Keith David, and others put the pieces together, they begin to lose trust in one another, losing sight of who's really who. John Carpenter's The Thing is flawless. It's flawless and a superior horror film, a superior science fiction film, and a superior film overall. The film brings tension, a great level of dread and fear, sheer horror, subtle humor, INCREDIBLE special effects (I would take these ANY day over CGI) by Rob Bottin, and a dark, ominous score from the great Ennio Morricone (who does the unthinkable by channeling old John Carpenter scores, lol). I'm the last guy to be sexist, but I thought having an all-male cast (save for then-Carpenter girlfriend, cult actress Adrienne Barbeau as the Chess Wizard computer voice) was a perfect touch for the film, as it completely drains the film of any kind-hearted and gentle emotions. This film was sadly over-looked and bombed terribly thanks to foolishly being released alongside a different kind of alien film, E.T. (bleh), but the film has amassed a great deal of notoriety, fandom, and cult status over the many years, and still holds up VERY well, showcasing hardly any outdated look to it still after all these years. It's the perfect film for me. I've watched it hundreds of times and look forward to watching hundreds more.

The Epitome of Horror Cinema. The greatest horror franchise know to man. I love, love, LOVE this series, no matter how tacky they may have gotten sometimes. The characters may have gotten stupid, but Jason always stayed badass. Anyone who says otherwise is a fucking idiot and their 2 cents are worth just that.

A journey into Ultra-violence and supercoolness. I love this film and all of the people in it. This is by far the greatest of the Robocop series, and one of the best action films to grace the screens. Also, Kurtwood Smith steals this movie. All I can think of when I am watching That 70's Show is his character from this movie!! Haha!

There are no bad things I can say about this film. This was another one from the lost pile of Christmas 2006 which I had set aside in favor of watching other movies. I now regret this immensely, as Save the Green Planet managed to be one of the most original, bizarre, silly, and most heartbreaking of movies I have ever watched. The plot revolves around a guy who is hellbent on the theory of aliens coming to destroy the Earth, and he believes the king is here on the planet setting up its demise while posing as a rich, sleazy tycoon. After years of plotting and putting together equipment to track and trap the aliens, our hero(?) kidnaps the the man and proceeds to put him through some intense and humorous torture that ranges from being fun to very hard to watch at times.

Once things get rolling, the kidnapper and the kidnapped play all sorts of mine games on each other while cops search for them throughout the countryside.

This movie managed to keep my interest in it from beginning to end, as there were all of these intense and bipolar moments. You didn't know if it was a comedy, a horror, a drama, or a sci-fi movie. You didn't know whether to laugh or to feel sad. Even with the whole alien bit, I was on the fence the entire time, asking my self if our lead character may have been onto something, or if he was just out of his fucking mind. Either way, this movie blew me away. I had to start it over and watch it again consecutively, it was honestly that good.

No wonder America wants to copy these people, we have run out of original ideas. The only good movies that ever come out anymore bomb, or only play in independent circuits because they confuse us, so we turn into chimps and scream and rebel and go watch Alvin and the Chipmunks or Saw 17, or Meet the Retards, or the Americanized version of every fucking movie that is made overseas. I truly hope America never discovers this gem, because it is flawless. Do yourself a favor and watch this movie. You will not be disappointed.

One of Stuart Gordon's best H.P. Lovecraft adaptations about a scientist who unlocks a doorway to another dimension where some weird freaky shit roams and eats the scientist. Now a team of random people go into the house to find out what happen and start unlocking the doorway and getting some more freaky shit started. Did I mention it has Jeffrey Combs AND Ken Foree? This movie is Beyond Badass and has finally come out on DVD. It was well worth the wait. I finally got to see it with all of the added gore and effects scenes which were completely awesome. Fun stuff!

In 1996, perhaps one of the most unique and diverse group of people all came together to create an equally unique and very notorious film that would delight and entertain a vast array of fans from all corners. From Dusk Till Dawn marks another famous pairing of iconic filmmakers Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino (who had previously worked together on the Desperado and Four Rooms) as they tackle the horror genre and shake it's very foundation, specifically the subgenre of the vampire movie. In this film, the murderous, criminal Gecko Brothers (played by George Clooney and Tarantino) are on the run from the law. After a beautifully violent opening at a small gas station, the two brothers eventually take up new hostages in the form of fallen preacher Harvey Keitel, his daughter Juliette Lewis, and adopted son Ernest Liu and make their way across the Mexican border to a wild trucker/biker titty bar in the middle of nowhere, the iconic Titty Twister. While there, they unexpectedly run afoul of vicious Mexican vampires (played by the likes of Salma Hayek, Cheech Marin, Danny Trejo, and others). A bloody onslaught of both over-the-top and often times hilarious gory set-pieces ensue, leading to a really large body count on both sides. Now, the gang and a few additions (including some SUPERBLY awesome roles by the likes of blaxploitation icon Fred Williamson and FX icon Tom Savini), the group must survive the night and fend off hundreds of hungry vampires. Aside from this already amazing crew, the film also has other familiar faces like John Saxon, Kelly Preston, John Hawkes, and Michael Parks (playing his infamous Earl McGraw character whose shown up in several other films despite his downfall in this one). Let's also not forget the terrific special effects throughout this film, done by the infamous KNB EFX, with K himself, Robert Kurtzman, being a writer on this film alongside Tarantino. This is, without a doubt my favorite and one of the VERY few and ONLY good films to come out of the dreaded 90's. It certainly proved to everyone a lot of things, like how you can make a really smart vampire film, or how Rodriguez and Tarantino were capable of stepping out of their established niches in film, and even the bankability of then-rising star Clooney. Truly one of my favorite films of all time.

Yet another awesome 80's Horror Flick with lots of bloodshed and lots of nudity. Followed by 2 other awesomely bad sequels.

Wow, quite possibly THE BEST slasher of all time. This film has everything: Tom Savini Gore, awesome deaths, lots of titties, Jason Alexander with hair, everything! I great GEM of a movie that has not been ruined by shitty sequels or a faggoty ass remake! Find this movie and watch it!!

Possible THE best (save for Harry and the Hendersons) movie about bigfoot ever!!!! It's got a killer bigfoot tearing annoying sorority bitches apart, several great cult actors, a full-blown naked Tiffany Shepis, and great make-up and prostetics!!! No filthy CG for this gem of a horror flick. Watch it!!!

A classic beyond classic films. The Jaws of space. The mecca of Haunted Houses, only in space. An excellent display of both science fiction and Horror. A film that is PERFECT in every sense: the emotions of dread and claustophobia, the perfect cast that makes this film work, an amazing director who continues to make unflinching and intense films, and some of the best special effects and designs that make fucking gay ass CGI look laughable. I love this film, as well as the rest of the series and the ultimate mythology of the Alien. Everyone should own this film.

Who would have thought that a once unnecessary sequel to such a classic could stand right beside the original (some even say that this outdoes the original)!! Another terrific cast led by the returning and now slightly more badass Eleanor Ripley as well as a terrific ensemble of people who really make this film work. Not to mention, a young James Cameron who is just starting to blow people's minds with his then unique and awesome directing. This film is a terrific companion piece to the original Alien and should be herald as an absolute classic. Love this movie!

Who would have thought that the Alien franchise would take a turn from dark, gloomy, and dreadful to an even darker territory. This film is purposely meant to be very gloomy, very bleak, and very unhappy and unsettling. Many people hate this one, but I loved it. Some great elements are added to the Alien Mythology and the new bull alien is terrific too (although it really depends on what version you watch of this. The alien comes out of a dog in one and a bull in the other). A solid classic that is nowhere near as good as the first two but manages to entertain.

One of THE BEST samurai films EVER. Tatsuya Nakadai is fucking insane and completely owns in this film, not to mention was the inspiration for Darth Vader's character!!! WATCH IT!!!!

This movie was an excellent homage to old fashion, drive-in horror, which sets up the film as part of a late night television special, even equipped with a ghoulish host in a haunted castle that spins us a tale about four friends marooned on the countryside where the bats have turned and have decided to start killing people, with zombified results! This is a terrific film that approached the killer bats theme with originality and fun. I REALLY enjoyed this. After watching this film, I expected big things from newcomer Ti West, who hasn't disappointed yet by bringing us dingy and dirty grindhouse-style films like this one, as well as another darn good flick Trigger Man, and the upcoming (taking forever though) Cabin Fever 2.

Wow, I was really blown away by this film. Very paced film with great characters and a very interesting monster to boot. I am saddened every time I realize that America is going to remake it and destroy another excellent movie.

Another John Carpenter classic revolving around a small town with a dark past that is suddenly and without warning covered in a heap of fog one night as people are viciously taken out and killed by GHOST PIRATES!!!! Nah, more like ghost sailors who were wronged in the past, but hey, an old lady gets her ass gutted with a hook in front of her grandchild, so there are definitely some great scares in this underrated classic. Do yourself a favor and avoid the piece of shit remake and watch this CLASSIC! An excellent ghost story with some great performances from some legends in horror like Adrienne Barbeau, Jamie Lee Curtis, and the always fantastic Tom Atkins.

Wow, what a fucking trip. This movie is amazing, brutal, exciting, etc, etc. I could go on forever. What a masterpiece of viciousness.

Leading up to watching this film, I had hoped and hoped that it would be as awesome as it sounded, and sure it enough, the movie was a real treat. The story follows two brothers who have pulled off the kidnapping of a foul-mouthed and slightly dangerous heiress (the big bossomed Jennifer Ellison), but things become comical as all sorts of problems ensue, causing the situation for the kidnappers to be more and more of a hassle. About halfway through the film, it does a complete 180 (a la From Dusk Til Dawn) and turns into a Shaun of the Dead infused variation on The Texas Chainsaw Massacre as the kidnappers, the kidnapee, and a few other characters encounter a really pissed off and gigantic monster hillbilly. Lots of blood and gore is shed along the way, and hey, we even get to see old Pinhead (Doug Bradley) himself in a very small, but absolutely comical scene as one of the townsfolk. This movie is terrific, I loved it.

There Will Be Blood is an absolute perfect movie. I actually thought it better than No Country For Old Men, which is surprising. It's an epic story of family, greed, religion, corruption, and the pursuit of Oil. Daniel Day Lewis mails in another phenomenal performance as the lead Daniel Plainview, earing a VERY WELL deserved Oscar, and a lot of the supporting cast, though never in the film more than a few minutes (with exception to the very creepy Paul Dano character Eli), was good as well. All of these human emotions revolve around the idea of the self-made man who reaches the top so quickly that the only other direction to go is down, which is very powerful story in itself. I think why people had trouble trying to find a plot was because There Will Be Blood follows NO formula whatsoever. There is no angle, no conflict, no resolution, or no pinpointed climax to the film, just a description more than a story. The music was also another stellar piece to this film as it ranged from being springy to downright haunting at the most inappropriate of times, but dammit, it worked and it wound up being genius. This film should have won Best Picture, as it is truly an epic. It also amuses me to realize why so many dumb religious people hated it so much. That was truly rewarding in its humor and realization.

For those who are pissed off that Peter Jackson will not be directing the epic 2-part The Hobbit tale and has instead asked Guillermo Del Toro to direct it, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army should put you at ease. Del Toro is perfectly capable of handling a mass-scale project with money and talent out the asshole, especially given the fact that he was able to create a movie like this with a much smaller budget (compared to what they'll give him for The Hobbit) and a much smaller array of actors (also compared to what they'll give him for The Hobbit). Most of the original cast returns, with the exception of Doug Jones now completely taking over the Abe Sapien character, not to mention doing some stunt work for a couple of other new ones. The cast is beyond excellent. Ron Pearlman NEEDS BIGGER ROLES after this film, because he is a treat to watch. I was very happy to see them let Doug Jones and his Abe Sapien character have a bigger role (and impact) in the film. It was also nice to see John Hurt back again in a small but pivotal role. As for the newbies, Luke Goss (who was a pretty fun villain in del Toro's Blade II) steps in as the new villain and does a great job, and then there is Johann Krauss, Hellboy's new boss, who is voiced by none other than Peter Griffin himself, Seth MacFarland. Lots of hilarity was had with his character. I loved him and instantly loved Del Toro even moreso for utilizing such an amazing voice actor. The former studio that put out the first Hellboy was unsatisfied with the final numbers and discontinued it's work with the makers of the film. Luckily, Universal picked it up let the Golden man, Mr. Post-Pan's Labyrinth Del Toro make the movie he wanted to make, with enough market campaigning to help this movie make way more than the original. I was very happy to see that; kudos to Universal, who usually is the one fucking shit up instead of helping it. All in all, there is nothing bad I can say about this film, and it's made me have this giant craving, as well as dread, for the third and final Hellboy, to which one of the characters in this film subtly informs us, will not be a happy ending. Del Toro has confirmed this as well. Hellboy 3 will capture the sadness and raw emotion that Revenge of the Sith should have done. Still, we will always have Hellboy 2 to remember how fun things were.

A History of Violence is a very unique film, combining elements of mafia film, suspense, a dash of action, and hey, it's even based off a hugely awesome graphic novel. Director David Cronenberg comes out of his shell a bit and directs against type with this little dramatic thriller about a small town family man, Tom (Viggo Mortenson, who compliments Cronenberg by acting against type, and very well I may add), who foils a robber and kills the gunmen with peculiarly fast gunplay. Soon, a couple of mobsters show up (lead by scene-stealing Ed Harris) who start calling Tom by a different name. In fact, they are very convinced that Tom used to be another ruthless criminal/killer like them, much to the confusion of his family, including his wife (played very well and surprisingly sexy by Mario Bello). More bloodshed occurs, and Tom may have to face his inner demons as well as the person(s) he tried to hide (and hide from) a very long time ago. Let's not forget William Hurt, who shows up for a minute and gives a terrific performance (as usual). Great film. Excellent story. I loved it, loved it, loved. The last few minutes of silence are both intense and heart wrenching. One of the best films to come out of 2005.

One of my favorite films, not to mention remakes about a socially insecure man named Willard (played PERFECTLY by Crispin Glover) who is with a friend in the world, bullied by his evil boss (also played PERFECTLY by R. Lee Ermey) and is always taking care of his dying mother until he befriends a sweet rat he calls Ben. Soon, more rats start showing up and once Willard is pushed over the edge, he starts using the rats to his advantage, plotting vengeance. I love this movie. It's one of my favorites and I truly felt as though this outdid the original thanks in part to the terrific actors (and Laura Harring wasn't so bad either). The film also has this terrific gothicism to it without overdoing it like a Tim Burton or Barry Sonnenfeld movie. Great film.

The Strangers was THE film I wanted to see in 2007. Needless to say, I was saddened when the film was pushed aaaaaall the way to summer of 2008. In that time, I managed to hype myself as well as this movie up, believing it to be the next big thing for me. With that, I think I screwed myself, because my first thought after watching this, was that I overhyped it. I was a little surprised by the final product and left the film feeling a bit empty and puzzled. So what do I do? I go see it again, at a time where there were no friends or lovers accompanying me, no mass amounts of douchebags with their cell phones, loud commentary, or 15 minutes into the film late entrances. Just me and my collected thoughts. Upon second review, my thoughts were validated. The Strangers is truly a terrific film. Mainstream horror sucks so fucking bad these days, that, the only way to make a good horror movie these days is take an original idea and paint it with a very strong coat of 70's and/or 80's nostalia, hence the beginning worded and narrated prologue (a touch I thoroughly enjoyed) and other small hints of retro-fare. Mix that with a moderately young and sexy cast like Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman (both playing unique and against type roles, I thought) and now you've got a movie. Using not 1 or 2, but 3 Michael Meyers-esque villains was TERRIFIC. One villain that is silent and seemingly unstoppable seems scary enough, but adding two more, not to mention making them both women (a rarity) is pretty unique.

Also, kudos to a team that refused to succumb to producing a friendly, test audience approved ending. It was dark, bleak, and (for once) made sunrise a time that you didn't look forward to.

All in all, I'm glad this movie made me think and want to watch it again, to study it, and see the bigger picture than just having a thrilling afternoon. It was a terrific watch, and I'm very happy to see that it is doing very well and making money, regardless of whether or not it is performing behind the likes of Sex and the Shitty, and Indiana Jones and the Attack of the Phantom E.T.

One of the few Coen Brothers film I had never gotten around to seeing, which should be grounds for lynching, because this movie was amazing. About as terrific as Fargo, Miller's Crossing, No Country For Old Men, etc, etc. The film, the Coen brothers debut, lays the groundwork for their future endeavors into Plans gone terribly wrong films, where bar owner Marty (Dan Hedaya in a hell of a terrific performance; why did he stick to nothing but character work after this gem???) who uncovers his wife's adultery (Coen brothers regular and fuck toy Frances McDormand, along with John Getz, another lost gem) and sets out seedy PI guy M. Emmet Walsh to dispose of them, but he's got plans of his own. The film is terrific and leads to a great climax. I loved this movie!

Wow. The Signal blew me away. Ok, so, out of nowhere, all TV's and phones begin emitting a strange frequency that starts turning everyone mad with rage and lust for murder, thus making them have "the crazy." All of this is going on while and man and woman who are in love with each other try relentlessly to find one another, before the woman's husband does, who has completely gone batshit. The story is focused on only a handful of characters, but they all wind up being VERY important and very essential to the story, with no terrible acting in sight, making this film an excellent and rare treat. This is how Horror is done! You feel for every character and it does an outstanding job of balancing horror, comedy and drama all into one. I loved this film.

The pinnacle of over-the-top, gory fun. Feast is the very definition of what a monster movie should be like in these modern times. A popcorn flick that is entertaining from the first minute until the last. A group of random characters (all billed as characters; never going by their names) become trapped in a bar late one night thanks to a family of some seriously creepy ass monsters that are trying to get in and rip them all apart. The film owes a lot of debt to the great characters that these actors played including a prick (who winds up being the hero), his handicapped brother, a motivational speaker, the bartender, the beer guy, the bar owner, heroine #1, heroine #2, and many others. As far as the effects go, a thanks is in order to the makers of this film for their little to no usage of CGI and instead using the real deal, visual and prosthetics. Also, I never thought I would see monster fucking again, not to mention monster face fucking, monster jizz, and monster castration (which also falls in line with big ole monster cocks). The humor in this is great too; good balance between that and scares. This film has cult classic written all over it and after watching parts 2 & 3, it's very apparent that the producer's of the film had a hand in making this film as well in order to make it more marketable, whereas parts 2 & 3 are ALL John Gulager and his writers (and completely different films). Great movie though.

Brilliant. That is all I can say. Also, those wacky Coen Brothers!!!

I enjoy it every time Ben Stiller gets the chance to direct a film, because he usually gets all of Hollywood to cameo in the film. Tropic Thunder is no exception. The film is about a film within a film being shot by a first time director (neurotic but very fun to watch Steve Coogan) who is unable to direct his diva-like actors played by Ben Stiller (an action hero trying to showcase his true acting abilities), Jack Black (the comedian who is trying to play his first serious role), and Robert Downey Jr. (the highlight of the film as a method actor who digs a little too deep into his characters). The rest of the cast is rounded out by Nick Nolte, some Apatow crew, Matthew McConaughey (filling in for Slitty McCutWrist Owen Wilson), and Tom Cruise (playing against type as a villainous Jewish Executive Producer in a surprisingly funny role). The movie is loud, in your face, often times better than many of today's standard action films, and very very funny at times. I find the scenes behind the camera to be even funnier as, once again, America's ignorance shines bright like a shooting star. You see, rather than people protesting against Downey's very racist (but hilarious) stereotype role of a black man, or against Cruise's very racist (but also hilarious) stereotype role of a jewish man, people have decided to protest the fact that the retarded are made fun of in this. Yes, they've been portrayed countless times in dramas, but the minute someone goes comedy, Boo hoo hoo hoo. Hell, the Gays are even jabbed at a bit in this and you don't here them bitching and whining like they usually do about films. Nope, the (ironically) non-retard protesters of America are fighting back against the evil doers of Tropic Thunder, but seriously, who else will do it for these goofy bastards, especially when they have no fucking clue they are being jabbed at. Get a fucking sense of humor, America. Ok, soapbox rant over. All in all, the movie is hilarious. It's not the Ben Stiller show, especially since everyone is pretty much given ample screen time and background development. Don't listen to some of these dipshit reviews down below. They follow the common trend of bashing a movie for how awful it is, but can never seen to explain why. Go and enjoy the film. I certainly did.

Wow. What a movie! In Bruges tells the story of an inexperienced hitman, Ray (Colin Farrell in one of THE best performances of his career) who wrecks his first job by accidentally killing a young boy in the crossfire. Devastated, he and his friend and partner (played astoundingly by underrated Brendan Gleeson) hideout in Bruges, a tourist city in Belgium and often the butt of many hilarious jokes throughout this film. Aside from them interacting with several unique characters in the town, things start to change when their boss (a very over-the-top Ralph Fiennes) wants the friend to kill Ray, but when he refuses, the boss strolls into town to carry out a very dark and surprisingly brutal last 20 or so minutes of the film. The violence was terrific, and you really feel for the characters (they actually had my wife becoming teary-eyed at several points). The humor was terrific in this film. A lot of it is Foreign-tinged humor, but it plays well enough to where I was laughing my ass off at several moments. I can't say enough good things about this movie. It is now one of my all-time favorites. Excellent film!

I'm happy to see this film finally reach DVD after being shelved for FAR too long. Home Sick revolves around a group of friends who are hanging out one night, but are visited by the mysterious, smiling Mr. Suitcase (Bill Moseley being fucking terrific as usual) with a suitcase full of razorblades. He asks each and every person to tell them someone they hate, while slicing himself after each one says a name. Unfortunately, one member says he hated everyone in the room with him. This is unfortunate because everyone that was named is now being viciously murdered by a masked monster dressed in all black. Aside from this very original and fun story, not to mention the awesome appearance by Moseley, viewers are entertained with buckets of blood and sweet gore effects, not to mention the beautiful Tiffany Shepis and her immaculately naked body, and the great Tim Towles (Henry, House of 1000 Corpses) as Uncle Johnny, a crazed militia man! Yeah, the budget is a bit low and there are a few moments of bad acting, but this has "Cult" written all over it. Lots of funny moments, as well as creepy. Totally original film that is completely mad. I cannot wait to see what these filmmakers try and do next.

Ghost Town is a wonderful and very fun to watch film about a dentist (Ricky Gervais, who makes an excellent grand entrance to mainstream film as a lead) who despises the world and people. Totally rude and obnoxious, but it one of the funniest ways possible. His comedic timing and dry humor is what makes this movie absolutely hilarious. There is also a heartwarming side to him, which is finally fleshed out when he dies for 7 minutes during surgery and can now see ghosts, all of whom are very anxious to talk to him and get his help, particularly Greg Kinnear (played by Greg Kinnear, snarf) who talks Gervais into helping his wife (played by the underrated, and slightly hot, Tea Leoni), whom Gervais starts to fall for naturally. Without a doubt, this film is hilarious. Credit must go to David Koepp's sharp direction and writing. I am saddened to find out that this film has bombed terribly at the box office, as more people would rather see Samuel L. Jackson beat up and torment white people, Dane Cook continue to act like a fucking moron, Pacino and De Niro completely ruin the legacy they spent years building, another stupid Tyler Perry Family-With-too-Much-Drama-Fo-Yo-Mama film, and another loathsome Sex & the City ripoff, than a movie filled with charm, comedy, and a lot of heart. Keep up the good work, Koepp, even if your newest and brightest film continues to follow the path of financial disaster as your past gems (Stir of Echoes, Secret Window) did before.

A timeless classic in the realm of the Horror film genre. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a dangerous, gritty, and insane creation from the mind of Tobe Hooper that completely defined traditional movie conventions and dared us to watch such a harrowing tale, but who could blame us with such a catchy title like that? A group of friends, rounded out by the beautiful Marilyn Burns and her handicapped brother Franklin (Paul A. Partain in a very disturbing role), head out to a family farm in Texas and are soon taken out one by one by a nearby group of neighbors, who are of cannibalistic persuasion, I may add. The eerie and desolate area that this takes place in easily adds to the creepiness of the film, not to mention the two brothers of the crazed family, which are comprised of the great horror icons, Edwin Neal and Gunnar Hansen. The last 20, 30 minutes of this film are easily the best in horror cinema. I honestly cannot say enough good things about this film.

Upon first glance, one would assume that Tobe Hooper finally grew up in the 80's and became all Hollywood and shit, but if you look behind the high production and fancy gloss of this big budgeted sequel to the Grindhouse classic of the original, you can see an excellent cult horror film. The Sawyer family is still alive and well, chopping and killing people left and right. Father Sawyer's special "meat" has become increasingly popular as his celebrity status grows (dare I say a small comparison to Hooper's ever-growing personality at the time), while brother Leatherface (now played by Bill Johnson) and brother Chop-Top (a career-defining role for icon Bill Moseley, and the film stealer) harass radio disc jokey (the ever-so-beautiful Caroline Munro) late one night. Oh, and the best part hasn't even been mentioned yet. The top-billed actor of this film is none other than deranged, psychotic Dennis Hopper playing a deranged, psychotic relative of a victim from the first film who is out for blend and to take out the entire Sawyer family. This film loses a lot of its grittiness and edge, but still offers a fun ride, and nothing is more entertaining than watching the great Bill Moseley. NOTHING!

This is a far departure from the first two Texas Chainsaw films, but dammit, I love this one to death. Another crazed family (led by none other than old Aragon himself, Viggo Mortenson, in a pretty chilling role), who takes in the last surviving member of the Sawyer clan (none other than Leatherface), and continues to slay, dismember, and cook helpless victims. The victims in question are a lost California couple, as well as one of the luckiest men in the world, the almighty Ken Foree, as a survivalist (seriously, he looks like he dies 3 times in this film, but keeps coming back!!). Jeff Burr took over the direction of this film from Tobe Hooper, but if you ask me, Burr is just as nuts and as good a filmmaker. There is plenty of bloodshed and the cast is great to watch as well, easily making this one of my favorite part 3's out there (and there aren't many, folks).

I was worried that Kevin Smith would tread far from his Clerks/Jay & Silent Bob schtick he's so famous for and give us another Jersey Girl (which, in all fairness, is still not a bad film), however Zack and Miri Make a Porno is an absolute winner, and another great entry in Kevin Smith's catalog of greatness. It's the story of best friends, guy (Seth Rogen, who's awesome as always) and girl (Elizabeth Banks, who continues to play hilariously awesome characters) who have lived together as sexual tension-free best friends until they decide to make a porno to get them out of poverty. Along the way, they (and their friends who lend a helping hand) all discover something unique and new about each other. Aside from the prerequisite dick and fart jokes, there is a lot of heart in this story (as Kevin Smith likes to do with his films), and you are given a very unique film that's a lot of fun, and incredibly hilarious. I absolutely loved it. I'm glad it didn't bomb terribly, but I hope that Kevin Smith continues to give us awesome movies like this. As far as other highlights of the film, nearly every supporting cast member steals the show in some way, including Craig Robinson (who's fastly becoming funnier and funnier in each role he's in), Jason Mewes (who takes us to places we don't want to go to, but love every second of it), Justin Long (who is freaking hilarious as the uber-gay pornstar), and good ole reliable Jeff Anderson (who's just great to have along for the ride). It was also surprisingly pleasant to see Smith step outside his comfort zone in New Jersey by having this film take place in the heart of Philadelphia, fully equipping it with the culture there. I liked and respected that alot. Also, most bizarre cameo award goes to this film for having Tom Savini in a odd role. WTF? I loved this film.

A medical school dropout (James Lorinz in a hilarious role) loses his wife-to-be in a bloody lawnmower accident, forcing him to go into seclusion as he tries to bring her back from the dead...Frankenstein style. Instead of robbing graves for body parts, Lorinz develops some insanely addicting and very dangerous crystal meth that he feeds to several prostitutes that proceed to blow up. He puts the parts together to create the ultimate babe, unfortunately, she thinks she's a hooker and starts blowing tricks.....UP, that is. This movie is out-of-this-word Absurd, filled to the brim with titties, and chock full of Frank Henenlotter-isms to keep you entertained from start to finish. This is was cult-classic cinema is. Love it.

Long live Sleepaway Camp, a delicious descent into the bizarre realm of Slasher films, where a boating accident results in poor little Angela losing some of her family while at a camp. Accompanied by her very protective cousin, the two set off to the same camp 8 years later where they run afoul the usual breed of people; bullies, sluts, and pedophilia chefs. Soon, anyone who picks on poor Angela winds up dead. Is it Angela? Is it her cousin? The film is pretty predictable until the last minute where the viewer is knocked the fuck out with one of THE most savage and brutal shock endings ever. 25 years later and that last minute is STILL one of the most chilling in horror history. Great film!

Wow, what can I say about this movie other than it is a complete MASTERPIECE!!! Utterly chilling. It created the whole concept behind "creepy ass children!" Jack Nicholson is amazing. Stanley Kubrick really took the material and crafted it in his own light and eyes. Could this possibly outdo the book? Either way, this film deserves to be held as one of the scariest films ever and those who have not seen it are fucking morons and need to watch it!

Aside from the Toxic Avenger films and Cannibal! The Musical, I NEVER expected Lloyd Kaufman and his Troma production company to EVER put out another fun and entertaining sleazefest ever again. Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead compeltely changes EVERYTHING! This movie is absolutely GENIUS and utterly insane to watch. It's just a balls-out hilarious, titty and gore infested, musically retarded clusterfuck of awesomeness captured on 35mm film. The story, if you could call it that, is about young lovers who become separated when one goes to college. A semester later, a new American Chicken Bunker fast food building is opening up, conveniently built on ancient Indian burial grounds. The boy discovers his love has turned into a pretentious hippie activist lesbian, so he gets a job at the restaurant which slowly becomes inhabited by killer chickens killing people one by one until finally culminating in a climactic showdown that just might possibly rival Peter Jackson's Briandead climax. Like I said earlier, the gore is insane, and so are the deaths which are all hilarious, but also very cool to watch. The titties are over the top and everywhere, which is never bad, and hey, there are a couple of unique cameos within this film, including a facebook friend of mine whose huge titties I finally get to see! To sum it up, this film blew me away. Totally fun, totally nonsensical, totally Troma. Loved it.

THE SUCKLING IS BRILLIANT! A young couple go to a whorehouse that doubles as an illegal abortion clinic. The young lady, who is very hesitant, gets drugged and her baby is removed and flushed down the toilet. What follows next is one of the sleaziest and funniest moments as the dead fetus falls through the sewers and stops right under an area where a random barrel of toxic waste is leaking through the drainage onto the baby, causing a hilarious transformation that may just rival the infamous one in An American Werewolf in London. Soon, a lady gets her head taken off and everyone is trying to leave but the baby has covered all of the exits with what I can only assume is afterbirth, or placenta hardened to the point where everyone is trapped inside with a dead fetus mutant that becomes increasingly larger and deadlier by the minute. This film was classic! An utter masterpiece in sleaze and bad filmmaking, which still managed to keep me pretty entertained. The monster and prosthetic effects weren't even that bad, though I would have never guessed this film was from 1990 (it looks more like 1980!). My only concerns lie within the deaths where there were an usually large amount due to guns, rather than creature violence. Also, the baby "detransformation" was probably the weakest effects of the whole movie, though they did manage to make me laugh my ass off. Honestly, I'm mad at myself for not having watched this film earlier in life. Truly a cult classic!

There is NOTHING bad that I can say about Samuel Fuller's power Horror/Drama film White Dog. A young struggling actress accidentally hits a white German Shepherd with her car, nearly killing it. She takes it to the animal hospital and then home with her while she awaits for the owner to come forward. One night, the dog saves her from a rapist, causing her to want to keep the dog. Things go bad when she starts to realize, thanks to the help of animal trainers Burt Ives (whose a lot of fun in this film) and the late Paul Winfield (possibly his best role EVER), that the dog is a "White Dog" a specially bred attack dog that only attacks and bill black people. From that point on, I was gripped by this film, totally entranced with it every minute of the way through. The attack scenes are very chilling and are done delicately enough to where this film doesn't fall under the same boat as more B-movie style killer dog films like Cujo, Man's Best Friend, or Rottweiler. Everything about this film is terrific, especially the very emotional scenes of the film including one where a dog is "put down" at an animal shelter and one where Winfield comes across a victim of the White Dog in a church (my favorite scene) which is a mixture of suspenseful and very heartbreaking. I really loved this film. Excellent direction from Samuel Fuller. Also, be on the lookout for small cameos by Paul Bartel and Dick Miller.

Wishmaster is one of my favorite films, which is about a Demonic Djinn (genie) that is released from it's gem like prison to gather souls from people whose wishes he grants before ultimately granted the 3 wishes of the person who freed him, which would allow all of the Djinn's the rule the Earth. Though the story may seem a bit silly, the direction in this is surprisingly well, thanks to Robert Kurtzman, the K in KNB effects, whose team also does all of the very cool animatronic/prosthetic effects, which are all glorious and pretty darn gory. For once, a movie has a lead female in it (Tammy Lauren) whose engaging, fun, realistic, and someone whom I don't want to punch in the fucking face for once. The real fanboy treasure lies within this film as it features a smorgasbord of Genre Icons throughout this entire film including Robert Englund (Freddy), Kane Hodder (Jason), Tony Todd (Candyman), Angus Scrimm and Reggie Bannister (both from the Phantasm films), George Buck Flower, Ted Raimi, Joseph Pilato, Walter Phelan (Dr. Satan), Verne Troyer (Mini-Me), and even all of the KNB guys show up here and there. Even the actual Wishmaster, Andrew Divoff, gives a pretty top-notch performance. Very good film.

100 Tears is the story of two tabloid reporters, Mark (Joe Davison, who's also the writer of this excellent film) and Jennifer (Georgia Chris), who are both ready to take a leap into more credible journalism by exploring serial killers, namely their notorious hometown one, The Teardrop Killer, who is an unrelenting force of pure brutality and fear. The Teardrop Killer dresses up like a clown and tears people the living fuck apart with a massive meat cleaver. As Mark and Jennifer delve further and further into the Teardrop Killer mystery and learn more and more about his checkered past, it brings them closer to the killer; much closer than I'm sure they ever wanted to be. While the film may boast some not too good acting, it makes up for it in a sheer onslaught of dozens of murders, as well as buckets of blood, gore, and loose body parts. The story itself is a breath of fresh air, adding uniqueness and originality to the slasher and killer clown sub-genres respectively. My only beef may be the inclusion of Raine Brown, whose character really annoyed me throughout this movie, and only provided minimal intrigue to the already great storyline. I have to say that I really enjoyed Davison and Chris's characters, who worked together well to form a unique bond with one another and to add a little bit of originality to the odd couple formula. This film also boasts one of the funniest scenes ever where the couple spend a couple of minutes trying to chase a small dwarf. Very fucking funny. Overall, this movie was fantastic. I'm happy to have finally seen it.

HOLY SHIT!

What an amazingly funny film. This was done by the South Park guys before there even was a South Park, and they were still in college. The story is a sendoff to the similar Ravenous film as well as the true story of the actual Alfred Packer story where a group of Pioneers set out to search for Gold where flesheating and hijinks ensue. Some of the funniest moments ever caught on film may make this the greatest movie that low-brow company Troma has EVER distributed (that is, if you haven't seen such other fantastic Troma fare like Poultrygeist or the Toxic Avenger films). For many a laughs, watch this movie. Great, great film!! I will FOREVER remember the term "Schpadoinkle" because of this movie!!!!

A Beautiful, beautiful film. One of Del Toro's best. Honestly though, anyone who gives this a bad rating, especially if the reason is because it was subtitled, is a complete and utter IDIOT!!! A young girl and her pregnant mother travel through war torn Spain to live with a sadistic Military leader. The young girl drowns out all of the sadness and evil around her by coming across a maze and mystical creatures that have her complete several tasks in order to be resurrected into their long lost princess. This is truly a terrific fantasy film that really showcases director Guillermo del Toro's talents, though if you're a fan already, you should know of his other fantastic efforts like The Devil's Backbone or Cronos, which are also terrific and heartwarming films. Great, great movie.

The epitome of the 80's. Weird Science is packed to the brim with 80's cheese, 80's storylines, 80's music, 80's stars, 80's hair, 80's attitude, 80's EVERYTHING. Two dweebs who can't get girlfriends decide to make one using state of the art 80's computer technology and picture scanners to create THE perfect woman (Kelly LeBrock, fucking hot). Soon, she is turning these boys into men by making them get drunk, engage in wild parties, and save the day and get the girls. All sorts of wacky magic happens thanks to her supernatural abilities. Again, this film is awesome. We get to see turns from young soon-to-be Hollywood big shots like Bill Paxton (as the older, abusive, dickhead brother), and Robert Downey Jr. (as an abusive, dickhead school bully). This fucking movie even has Michael Berryman in it!! If you don't know who the fuck Michael Berryman is, then stop reading this review and go suck on a dick, YOU DICKSUCKER!!!! Seriously, though. I love this movie.

I gotta say that The Substitute really took me by surprise! With virtually no blood, only 1 death, and just a couple of CG and visual effects, this movie HEAVILY relies on a terrific cast of mostly children to keep me very entertained throughout this entire movie. Hell, it only took about 5 "Fuck's" to give it an R-rating. Personally, I don't find Fuck offensive, so really, in my eyes, this films could have passed for PG. Anyways, a group of varying students are taken by surprise when they get a new Substitute teacher (whose already been established as an Alien from the beginning of the film) and her weird behaviors start to send up red flags amongst the students (who all perform very well in this film). It's up to a small group of them, lead by a loner student who's mom recently died, to uncover the truth about their new teacher. This plays just like The Faculty, only it doesn't suck! Snarf! Anyways, I REALLY enjoyed the film. Do yourself a favor and watch it with the subtitles, because the dubbing is absolutely dreadful! Also, watch for the bizarre High School Musical dance number during the credits. Didn't see that coming! Maybe this is really Denmark's version of a children's film, where everyone lives in a land where they are not offended by a few spouts of the word "fuck"!

I just had the GREAT pleasure of finally watching Anguish and it's one of the few films out there to leave me utterly speechless. A completely unique and original idea and concept that I have never seen before. The tried and true idea of a boy and his mother is outworldly explored as the usually terrific to watch Michael Lerner plays an unstable Optometrist who comes under the hypnotic control of his very bizarre mother (played marvelously by the very, very, VERY creepy Zelda Rubinstein) and is sent out on a killing spree, centering his attacks in a moderately crowded movie theater where he stabs his victims and takes their eyes out. At first, things are by the book, but after about 25 minutes or so and OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, the viewer is pulled out of the movie and is observing the crowd watching the movie who begins to have problems of their own, which happen to be very similar to what is going on in the movie they are supposed to be watching. I gotta say, I never saw it coming. At first, I was only mildly entertained, but as soon as the film took a 180 degree turn, I was hooked all the way to the end. A stellar and wholly original horror film. Loved it, loved it, LOVED IT!

Now this is a Sleepaway Camp sequel! The film completely disregards parts II and III and serves as a direct sequel to the original hit slasher film. 25 years after the murders at Camp Arawak, Camp Manabe is opened by Big Pussy himself (Vincent Pastore) and Paul DeAngelo (Ronnie the Beefcake from the original film!!!). There's also Issac Hayes playing "The Chef" (a nice homage to South Park, which he was still on when this film was made), and a return from cousin Ricky (Jonathan Tiersten) and, of course, dear Angela herself (reprised again by the very hot Felissa Rose) who's actually in the movie longer than it would seem (spoiler). The film had that same aura of bizarreness surrounding it, which was accented by the purposely bad acting, the incestuous teen angst and bullying, the clever to downright silly deaths, and the lack of true character development, save for the outcast kid, played with maddened intensity by first-timer Michael Gibney, who gives us one of THE most socially inept and complex kids I have ever witnessed. This film is terrific. Yes, it's bad in so many ways, but so fun to watch. Be sure to watch after the credits for additional scenes that may answer some questions about Felissa Rose's disguise. Love it.

Dead Man is definitely a western for eclectic tastes as it has Jim Jarmusch written all over it with it's own unique brand of storytelling that blends dark comedy with subtle western action. The story is about a city boy (Johnny Depp) who embraces the inner-gunslinger within himself and is forced to go on the run while several nefarious people try and capture him. The film is rather small in scale but packs a huge punch of a story that is both very entertaining and enlightening. Plus, there is a bevy of great faces that show up throughout this film including Gabriel Byrne, John Hurt, Alfred Molina, Lance Henriksen, Iggy Pop, Billy Bob Thorton, and even Robert Mitchum! This is a great little indie westerner that should be watched! The film also features an amazing soundtrack courtesy of Neil Young.

I gotta say that Takashi Miike's interpretation of Spaghetti westerns (Lo Mein Western anyone???) is a fresh and fun watch. The story takes liberally from the Last Man Standing storyline (which took it's storyline from Yojimbo, an extraordinary samurai film) about a lone man venturing into a town divided by two vicious gangs (the red one and the white one). Each gang represents a slice of evil as they murder and ravage this town, seeking out hidden treasures. The lone stranger attempts to ride the town of these two gangs with the help of his cunning gunplay, not to mention fellow town members, including BB, and aged but deadly beauty who was trained by a white gunslinger (played by none other than the amusing Quentin Tarantino). Aside from paying homage to films like Last Man Standing, Kill Bill, and Yojimbo, the film also pays tribute to the Italian westerner, Django, which also excels in ultra-violence and fun storytelling. Overall, the film is a great watch. The action and comedy are well balanced. My biggest surprise came in the form of Miike's ballsy move to have his entire cast attempt to do this movie in English. You cannot help but notice that some of these actors STRUGGLED through this film by saying their lines in English. Oddly enough, that made this film even MORE enjoyable. Great stuff.

The updated Adventures of Baron Muchausen is a classic and very funny small scale film akin to big epics like the Lord of the Rings or original Star Wars trilogies but with great flash and Monty Python-esque flair that only director Terry Gilliam (Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, 12 Monkeys) can truly deliver. The story starts with a play about the great fictional Baron Munchausen character in the middle of a kingdom on the verge of being torn apart by the Turks. Unbeknownst to everyone, the REAL Baron Munchausen (John Neville, who is an absolute treat to watch) walks in spouting about his tales of bravery and cunning battles along with a group of unique misfits. From there, another adventure begins as Baron, a little girl (a very young Sarah Polley, the lead girl in the Dawn of the Dead remake, director of Away From Her), and the misfits set out to all sorts of adventures, including a trip to the moon (where Robin Williams makes a very amusing appearance), deep in a volcano (where we are treated to a VERY funny role by the late Oliver Reed as well as a young and beautiful Uma Thurman), and in the belly of a fish monster. This film is a lot of fun and very enjoyable. I could seriously watch it over and over again.

Hamlet 2 is the very funny story of a failed actor (Steve Coogan, who is absolutely hilarious in this film) who is now a high school drama teacher on the verge of losing that job as well until he devises a last ditch effort to create a play based around a sequel to William Shakespeare's Hamlet, though with Jesus, Time Machines, and various forms of offensive material that starts ruffling feather and grows bigger and bigger until his play is the talk of the town. Aside from that storyline, there is the one where he is given an entirely new class of diverse and ethnically different kids who despise him at first but soon come to love him. Another has his home life which is less than perfect where his wife (Catherine Keener) may potentially be cheating on him with their roommate (David Arquette, in an amusing but VERY downplayed role). The movie is very interesting as a lot of the characters are purposely flawed. You really don't know whether you like them or not at times, but the film plays well and delivers a lot of hilarious moments. Amy Poehler and Elisabeth Shue show up in fun roles, and when the film gets down to its namesake, that play manages to be entertaining as well. Kudos to Steve Coogan for carrying a heavy film. It's really good.

As the closing of 2008 nears closer and closer to us, it is with great sadness that we venture into the the unknown in 2009 without the comical and inquisitive wisdom that is George Carlin. In his final, taped performance "It's Bad for Ya!", George muses over all the big ones, taking no prisoners with her, including death, politics, and especially the always contradicting...religion. He makes so many just and incredible points, it's amazing no one else is questioning these very things. Carlin had balls, probably the last of the big ones that America will ever had. He was truly a legend and this stand up truly showcases it. Rest in Peace, George Carlin. If Hell exists, I'm sure I'll see you there soon enough.

Before watching Baby Blood, I was under the impression that the French only recently started putting out very well made, ultra-gore and violence, terrific horror films, but as it turns out, they've been doing for a very long time, and the proof is right here in this little gem of a movie.

Baby Blood is about a miserable circus performer (the large breasted Emmanuelle Escourrou) who is paid a visit by an unknown species that has recently burst out of an animal and slithered its way right up her cunt hole, unbeknownst to her. Soon, she finds out that she is "pregnant" and flees from the circus and her abusive husband. As the months pass by, we find that the thing inside of her talks to her in a human voice and demands blood, forcing her to kill many, MANY people in various gruesome and extremely gory ways. For about 84 minutes, the bloodshed never seems to let up, and we get a pretty entertaining movie in the process. I liked this film a lot and am looking forward to the VERY long overdue sequel, Lady Blood. Great movie.

When I think of The Resurrected, two things irritate me: 1.) This movie was made in 1992 and I just NOW found out about it in 2008, and 2.) With a plot and storyline so damn original like this film has, why isn't it more popular? With that said, The Resurrected is about a woman who hires a PI to investigate her husband and find out what kind of "experiments" he is doing in his cabin deep in the woods. As expected, the deeper the PI and the wife dig, the more unsettling things they discover including bringing the dead back to life, people being eaten, and many abominations to be seen. The Resurrected is an incredibly original film based on the H.P. Lovecraft story "The Curious Case of Charles Dexter Ward" and features some very well done acting (including the always awesome Chris Sarandon as the mysterious husband), and a story so enthralling that the film just came and went in its 106 minutes. I really enjoyed this movie, and more people need to find out about it. My only beef would have to be the kinda silly visual effects, but rest assured, the prosthetic and mechanical effects are awesome. Great movie.

WHAT AN AMAZING GEM OF A HORROR FLICK!!! It's got dead zombie children, tons of gore, resurrected hot chicks, giant-monster poodle, an old fat lady as the lead hero of the film, and Phyllis Diller!!! An aging psychic (Deborah Rose, who's a terrific lead in this film), two cops, a thought to be dead woman, and Phyllis Diller are all trapped in a coroner's building with three zombie children that are tiny, scary as shit, and fast as hell. I loved this movie. It's over the top, fun, and sometimes very chilling!!! If you manage to come across this movie, watch it. It's awesome!

In the Warriors, hundreds of gangs run the streets of New York City, many of which are unique, diverse, and very dangerous. The gang in question (and the movie's namesake) is The Warriors, a group from Coney Island that attend a big meeting in the Bronx with hundreds of other gang members, all holding a truce in order to let top dog Cyrus speak about peace amongst each other and forming one group to take on the city. Unfortunately, a rival gangmember shoots Cyrus down and fingers the Warriors for it. Unarmed and out-maned, the Warriors must tread through the streets of the Bronx and other areas to get back to Coney Island all in one piece, but with a radio announcement going out to all groups to band together and take down the Warriors, it winds up being the longest night ever for them. This film may be one of the last great movies to come out of the 70's before that wonderful decade of gritty and grindhouse-style cinema ended. The film is reminiscent of something you would see from the likes of John Carpenter. Lots of action, lots of great acting, all held together by sharp storytelling and direction from the awesome Walter Hill. One of my all-time favorite films. I love the Warriors.

Words cannot describe just how amazing and awesome this film truly is. This film, in my opinion, is the best out of Peter Jackson's films (yes, even all the Lord of the Rings!!!) and it still holds up over ten years later. I love this movie so much and have watched it so many times, it's almost sickening. Love it.

Eduardo Sanchez's follow up to the Blair Witch Project is a great, scary alien flick. No stupid CGI and an awesome climax. An intestine-ripping good time!!!

I thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Surprised to see that I am the only one in these reviews who seemed to like it. Kinda harks back to the old school days, namely Halloween. Loved the score too, very chic. Cannot wait for the sequel to this!!!

Oldboy is the type of film America wishes it had the brains to make. The story is about a cocky and arrogant man, Oh Dae-su, who is abducted one rainy night and imprisoned in a room for 15 years until finally being released. His family and life have been destroyed and the only thing on his mind is finding out who did this and taking his revenge. Things get complicated though when the person responsible for taking his life away reveals himself early on in the movie and forces Oh Dae-su to play games with him to find out what was the root cause of all of this madness. With the help of a young and beautiful sushi chef, Oh-Dae-su embarks on a small journey that he will never come out of feeling the same. This film is utterly amazing and unpredictable. I HIGHLY recommend you to watch this and bask in its awesomeness!!!

Love it or hate it, this film is a masterpiece. It gave us Tarnatino and some of the best actors he has every written in his directorial debut about a group of criminals (the awesome Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Steve Buscemi, and Tarantino himself) hired by father and son crime lords (the late Lawrence Tierney in his final role and Chris Penn respectively) to pull off a bank heist that goes bad and now everyone spends the movie trying to figure out what happened. The story is told in several different vignettes where as the tension grows within the warehouse, we get an insight into each character, finding out small tidbits about them. The "Stuck in the Middle" scene was frighteningly good, humorous, and scary. Overall, this is a shining spot in Tarantino's career. An extremely great movie.

Zach Galifianakis stands as one of THE greatest comedians out there, with his bizarre perspective on the most random of things with hints of the artsy independence of a hipster without going overboard with it. Zach has a lot of hilarious bits in this film that have me laughing my ass off. Unlike the usual stand-up videos, the show is intertwined with clips of cross-country driving shenanigans with a friend, and an absolute HILARIOUS mock interview between Brian Unger and Zach's "twin" brother Seth (Fugees and Funions is the absolute highlight of this DVD). Great little stand-up DVD from a terrific comic. Now make a CD, Zach, god dammit!!!

The Kindred is an amazing little gem I discovered finally (still wanting to kick myself for passing it over all these years) that combines elements of The Thing and From Beyond, two of my all-time favorite horror films, thus making The Kindred one of my new favorites. The Kindred built itself as an above average horror film that starred two highly celebrated actors: the scene-stealing Rod Steiger (whom I always thought had a soft spot for B-grade horror/sci-fi films after staring in the likes of End of Days, American Gothic, and The Amityville Horror) and the all-too brief appearance of Kim Hunter (most notably known from her work as Zira in some of the Planet of the Apes films). In actuality, the film focused more so on the character of John, a celebrated doctor of medicine and science whose long comatose mother (Hunter) awakens to warn him to go back to their old house to destroy all of her work and his brother Anthony, before she is killed off by Steiger's character. Clearly confused, John embarks on a trip to the old home along with his girlfriend, another doctor, played by the beautiful Amanda Pays (Leviathan), and some of his assistants. Rather than destroying the work, the team works to try and discover what John's mother was working on, but they're not alone in that house as we soon discover. The house is inhabited by a large mutated force, equipped with claws, tentacles, razor sharp teeth, and enough goo to slime the entire cast. Directors (and writers, among several other people) Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter (both of whom made their debut on the surprisingly grim and bloody slasher The Dorm That Dripped Blood, or Pranks as most people know it as) manage to create an effects-laden, character driven, monster movie that is genuinely fun, entertaining, and sometimes creepy. Much like Pranks, the characters are developed very nicely to the point where you feel for them, and unlike Pranks, the body count is surprisingly low (though the deaths that DO happen are nice and violent), leading to a surprisingly-large group of survivors, which I thought couldn't have happened to a better group of characters. The effects, mind you, are dated compared to today's CGI-obsessed world, but these are the very effects I grew up on: prosthetics, animatronics, puppety, actual visible things that are really there and not fabricated on a computer. I honestly cannot say enough good things about this film. It REALLY needs to find a home on DVD. Terrific horror film.

A high-fashion photographer who also happens to be a child molester picks up the WRONG girl (Ellen Page) who proceeds to play a long game of mindtricks and cat and mouse shenanigans, culminating in some of the most intense and tortuous scenes ever. If only more young girls could be like Ellen Page's character, then the sexual predator attacks would be drastically lowered, but as long as they grow up idolizing fucking morons like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, then these monsters are going to stay in business for a very long time. Oh well. Terrific acting from Page. Very good movie.

For 1967, Wait Until Dark managed to infuse ahead of its time chills and tense moments surrounding the theme of home invasion type films that have become so popular these days with movies like The Strangers or Them. Wait Until Dark is about a doll, filled with heroine, that makes its way to the states with a woman who dumps it on a fellow passenger from the plane (Efrem Zimbalist Jr., whose now more known for his voiceover work) before she meets up with a mysterious and unsavory character (Alan Arkin, who plays one of THE best villains in this film). Some days have passed and Arkin manages to blackmail two other men (Richard Crenna and Jack Weston) into helping him retrieve the doll from the man's home, which is inhabited by a blind woman (Audrey Hepburn, in a terrific role). While the husband is away, the three men work up a con game to try and retrieve the doll from the house that leads them nowhere, especially when Hepburn's character starts to pick up on their scheme. When it comes down to Hepburn and Arkin, the movie goes into sheer suspense territory and delivers a couple of genuinely creepy moments. All of the cast delivers good performances, especially Arkin. Overall, this is a classic film that dances between Suspense and Horror. Every fan of those types of movie genres should watch this film. Excellent movie.

This is really out there. See if you can make sense of it!!!

I HATE Paul walker, and most of his films, but here, he extends his acting abilities quite a bit more than usual and put out a REALLY GOOD new school mafia film. Highly energetic and filled with tons of violence, bloodshed, titties, and humor to satisfy all cravings!!! Great film.

One of the GREATEST samurai films ever by one of THE best filmmakers of all time, Akira Kurosawa. Bleak, dark, and violent for its time. Yojimbo tells the story of a drifting samurai who arrives in a very small and desolate town that has nearly fallen apart thanks to two rival gangs that are battling each other for supremacy over the town. Calm, cool, and collected, Yojimbo (who is played brilliantly by the hypnotic Toshiro Mifune) uses his crafty techniques to help the side with the highest bid, but then continue to help the other side, drawing these two gangs closer and closer to the brink of destruction in an effort to save the town. They tried to remake this masterpiece with the ill-fated Bruce Willis film Last Man Standing that had the action, but none of the heart of the original Yojimbo. Plenty of action and comedy mixed into this beautifully crafted story. Mifune is absolutely brilliant and a joy to watch. This film is really awesome and I'd advise any fans of samurai films, or films period, to check it out. Utter perfection in filmmaking. Followed by the equally amazing Sanjuro.

Running Scared is the Buddy Cop movie of 1986 (and probably most other years following) about two detective partners (Billy Crystal and Gregory Hines) who have been long-time friends working together to clean up the mean streets of Chicago, particularly focusing on drug crimelord Julio Gonzales (Jimmy Smits, hamming it up, but fun to watch) whom they are struggling to pin, especially when they only have a month left on the force before retiring to Key West. As the two struggle to take down Gonzales, they begin to wonder whether leaving Chicago is really worth it, albeit amidst a bevy of funny one-liners and moments. Overall, this movie managed to go beyond being hilarious thanks in part to the performances of Crystal and Hines who came off as the perfect match for each other as each one tried to outperform the other in terms of humor. Both men had a great connection, and the supporting cast managed to only heighten this movie, including performances from Joe Pantoliano (Bad Boys movies), Dan Hedaya (Commando, Alien Resurrection), and Jon Gries (Napoleon Dynamite). Good story, lots of humor, and great direction from Peter Hyams, whose great with action (Sudden Death), sci-fi (Timecop), and horror (The Relic). It's a shame he never does more comedy. Overall, terrific comedy/actioner that I can't say enough good things about.

Another amazing 80's gem that serves up decent gore scenes and interesting kills. The whole killer scarecrow theme is getting raped nowadays, but this one here is the best and most original. If you have a chance to watch it, then watch it!!!

Just as I suspected, Bruno is a no-holds barred, in-your-face blend of raunchy and poignant comedy delivered by the brainchild of Bruno (not to mention Borat and Ali G.), Sacha Baron Cohen. Bruno is Cohen's cult gay, fashion-enthused character (from the Ali G. show, just like Borat) whose penchant for flamboyancy and flair gets his ousted from the Fashion world in Europe thanks to a botched all-velcro suit that goes haywire at a top fashion show. Determined to become the largest celebrity in the world, Bruno and his former assistant's assistant venture to American to the make the dream come true. The problem is every one of Bruno's attempts fail, from an acting gig on the show Medium, interviewing celebs like Paula Abdul & Harrison Ford, making a sex tape with Ron Paul, to adopting an African baby. Still driven, Bruno does the unthinkable and attempts to turn straight thanks to the help of gay converters, the military, and a swinger's club. Every single one of these bits offer up a bevy of hilarious and awkward moments, not to mention Cohen's knack for bringing out the worst in people, from their apparent stupidities (see Paula Abdul, the charity girls, etc), to people's knack for being overly homophobic, racist, and sexist (see The South, almost everyone else). Bruno may not touch the greatness of Borat, but that is only because Borat focused so much on racism (and we all know how everyone is "trying" so hard to put an end to that problem) that, right now, fighting homophobia and gay hate isn't at the top of people's list (which would account for a bigger dis-interest in Bruno in terms of audience reactions and the weekend box office gross). Cohen exposes a lot of people for their homophobia and hatred towards gay's and I applaud that. Cohen manages to blend a very funny and engaging fictional story amidst very painfully real and authentic interviews and encounters with real people. There's a powerful message to be seen between all of the gay and hardcore sex and jokes. Giving this movie a bad rating only declares your ignorance towards the message and shows off your homophobia, unless you can clearly state the reasons why this movie is not good, which I don't think you can. Terrific film.

Silent, cool-as-hell gunslinger Django (the infamous Franco Nero) comes waltzing into a desolate town, divided by two very dangerous groups (a la Yojimbo, Last Man Standing, etc). Django makes waves right away by taking out a small group of KKK ex-soldiers, while saving a prostitute in the mix. Naturally, the rest of the pack comes looking for blood. As intimidating and threatening as Django already is, it's escalated even further by the fact that Django drags a mysterious coffin with him everywhere he goes. The coffin winds up concealing a powerful machine gun that Django uses to decimate an entire group. This leads to Django's working alongside the other group, a band of villainous Mexican bandits who conspire to steal the KKK's vast amounts of gold with Django's toy, little knowing Django has his own tricks up his sleeve. The end result is a fantastically stylized, ultra-violent (for it's time) action packed Spaghetti Western. Though not as epic as, say, The Good, the Bad, The Ugly, Django excels in notoriety and retains an impressive cult classic status that has followed it for over 40 years. It's further heightened by some fun performances by a group of notable Italian actors and actresses who make the film all the more engaging, especially Nero (though he does lose a little bit of cool later on with a slight bit of excessive talking her and there). And the cherry on top would be the recent Blu-ray release of this film, which looks absolutely gorgeous. If you're ANY kind of fan of westerns, Spaghetti Westerns, or good old fashioned violence, run and grab a copy of Django. it's a fantastic film and one of my all-time favorites. Love it!

One of my favorite films of all time, Long Weekend is quite a unique nature run-amok film about an couple on the rocks taking a camping trip on an exotic coast in order to mend their troubled marriage. Their blatant disregard for nature and the living things within it causes it to turn on them in a very bad way, from small animal attacks to downright creepy mind games (like a dead manatee carcass that mysteriously winds up closer and closer to their campsite. Yes, this little known Australian flick really packs a nice decent-sized punch, with an ending that can either be described as chilling or funny as hell, but clearly with a message on man's common disregard of nature and its inhabitants. Superb acting from the leads, including the late John Hargreaves and Briony Behets as the doomed couple. Excellent direction from Colin Eggleston, who really took advantage of the beautiful Outback landscapes to deliver a chilling and effective tense story. I liked this film a lot and would hope that any true fan of cinema would seek this movie out first before watching the inferior, shot-for-shot remake (Nature's Grave). Honestly, I cannot say enough good things about this movie. Excellent.

Funny People is about major funny man/movie star George Simmons (Adam Sandler in a very surprising performance) whose life is turned upside down when he finds out he's suffering a Leukemia-like disease that is slowly killing him. Preparing to die, George goes back to his comedic stand-up roots and enlists the help of an up and comer (Seth Rogen) as his joke writer, his assistant, and first actual friend. With Funny People, you're practically given two movies as the first focuses on Sandler's character's condition and the way he tries to make the best of what's left of his life, with the help of Rogen's character. The second half sees a rejuvenation of his character after he beats the disease, but it starts to prove hard for Sandler as old habits start to rise again, especially now that he has his former fiance (played by Leslie Mann) back in his life. Marking the 3rd directing effort for the ever-so-popular Judd Apatow, you see a real progression in his work, as each film gets better and better. It's obvious Apatow worked very hard on this film as it is a true testament to how him and Sandler made it to where they were when they first started out in the entertainment business. The supporting cast is beyond hilarious, as are several of the stand-up scenes. I'm also really happy to see Sandler play an amazing performance we haven't seen in his past several films that's on par with Punch Drunk Love. The rest of the cast is very strong and very funny as well, including Rogen (stretching his range a bit) , Mann, Eric Bana (who brings back that same intensity used in his breakthrough role in Chopper, which I LOVED!), and many others including an amazing assortment of cameos from all sorts of people in the business. I really enjoyed everything about this movie. Damn near flawless.

I don't know why, but much like most of Wil Ferrel's films, this one just outright amuses me and makes me laugh, alot! A great followup film for star/director Ben Stiller after his previous disaster The Cable Guy. This deserves to be a cult hit.

The Collector is the story of a convict, Arkin (Josh Stewart), who has been casing a house for several months, but soon becomes desperate when his wife is in debt to loan sharks, thus seeking to rob the house earlier than initially planned before something bad happens to his family. While in the house, Arkin realizes that he is not alone, as a masked killer roams throughout it with an entire arson of deadly traps set up and the family held captive and tortured in various, gory ways. This sets up an interesting premise of an antihero working to try and get the loot, stop the killer, save the family, and save his own family before midnight, which I couldn't help but think was a great concept for a horror film. Written by the team of Marcus Dunstan (who also directed) and Patrick Melton (the team behind the Feast trilogy and SAW's 4 through 7), The Collector winds up being a pretty standard, meat and potatoes kind of film. As far as flaws go, I wasn't a fan of the usage of CGI (particularly used for just bugs in the film). Also, don't expect any character development, whatsoever, save for the Arkin character (even that is limited though). Another thing would be the choppy editing, which obviously seemed like some parts were cut out of the movie (this is also evident if you watch the red band trailer, which shows some clips that never made it to the finished product). Aside from its flaws, I really wound up enjoying this film. The deaths and gore count is substantially good, nearly excellent in my opinion. One big problem I'm seeing is the constant comparison to the SAW movies. This movie bares very little resemblance to the over-cooked and bland SAW series, save for the traps subplot, which is pretty different in its own right as well. Yes, The Collector may start off shaky at first, but it soon gains momentum and gradually gets better and more entertaining with each passing minute. I'm happy to see a somewhat original horror film in a movie theater that's not a remake, prequel, or unnecessary sequel for once.

I think people only like this film because they want to be cool and accepted by others. You try asking someone something about this film and they have no clue. Those people are idiots!!! I thoroughly enjoyed this film. I'm a huge Johnny Depp fan, as well as a Terry Gillam and Benicio Del Toro fan. The combination of these 3 makes for an incredible, mind boggling party. Hunter S. Thompson is also a badass.

One of the first mockumentary films to come around was also one of the best that has young filmmaker Marty DiBergi exploring the lives of once infamous, popular Rock and Roll band Spinal Tap, through their long, humorous career and the many ups and downs they have suffered and are currently suffering with their comeback tour and album. The humor in this is powerful and liberally doused all over the place in nearly every, single frame of film. The band is rounded out by Michael McKean (absolutely hilarious in this), Christopher Guest (who made a career out of similarly themed movies like Waiting for Guffman, Best in Show, A Mighty Wind, etc), and Harry Shearer (whose a bit downplayed in this; would loved to have seen more) who get caught up in such issues as getting lost backstage at a venue, struggling through airport security, Stonehenge set pieces, etc. It also has some of THE best lines ever in a movie. Honestly, there is very little negative things I can say about this movie. There's also a decent amount of cameos from the likes of Bruno Kirby, Billy Crystal, Dana Carvey, Ed Begley Jr., Fred Willard, Fran Drescher, and Angelica Huston. Overall, it's no surprise that this is a pure, cult classic. Like many other people, I enjoy the hell out of this movie and could watch it a thousand times over. I love it.

Orphan is about a struggling family (comprised of a mom who is a former alcoholic who recently lost her unborn child, a father who is a former adulterer, a son, and a young deaf daughter) who adopt a 9-year-old Russian girl named Esther (played phenomenally well by Isabelle Fuhrman) who is certainly unusual, but warms up to the family almost immediately, that is, before things go bad. The viewer soon realizes that something is severely wrong with Esther as she engages in several adult situations involving turning the family against each other, manipulating and abusing the siblings, and eventually murder. Everything leads up to a startling climax that certainly answers some questions and reveals some heavy secrets. Vera Farmiga (Running Scared, The Departed) does a tremendous job as the tortured mother, providing a great companion piece to her work in the similarly themed Joshua, where she played a mother to another demented child. Peter Sarsgaard (The Salton Sea, Rendition) plays the father in an equally great and jarring performance. I have to say though, it was the kids (Fuhrman, as well as the son and daughter, played by Jimmy Bennett and Aryana Engineer respectfully), that really provided some excellent, intense performances in an especially kid-unfriendly movie. The youngest one, Enginner, does a remarkable job as their deaf child. The use of sign language as a means of dialog and communication intermittently throughout the film was a nice touch and really made me feel for the movie and characters. Kudos to whoever didn't let this film turn into a PG-13 borefest. Overall, the tone and mood of the film is very brooding and dark, with very small tidbits of humor placed here and there. Director Jaume Collet-Serra does a commendable job of delivering a straight-up horror film, especially after breaking his teeth with the campy House of Wax remake, and the disastrous Goal 2 movie. My biggest complaints: some cheap jump scares (though, to the films credit, has very, very few) and an all-too brief appearance from Karl Roden (Hellboy, The Abandoned). I would have loved to have seen Roden play a bigger character in this film. Overall, this is an excellent film in my opinion, and I'm really happy to see a bigger than usually budgeted, mainstream, original horror film manage to entertain me for once. Great film.

In the 80's, John Carpenter was all over the place. When he wasn't doing standard-fare horror (Christine, The Fog), gritty action (Escape From New York), more darker-themed horror (The Thing, Prince of Darkness), Carpenter was doing off the wall and bizarre comedy/science fiction hybrids that gained HUGE cult followings. One was They Live and the other was Big Trouble in Little China. An unabashed, cult classic, Big Trouble in Little China infused action, kung fu, Chinese mythology, monsters, demons, and a whole mess of other intriguing and sometimes hilarious concepts. As far as plot goes, Kurt Russell is a loud mouth trucker who gets dragged into a centuries old mythical battle amongst sorcerers in Chinatown, alongside old friend Dennis Dun (Prince of Darkness), hot chick Kim Cattrall (Sex & the City), and fellow sorcerer Victor Wong (Tremors). They have to stop ancient sorcerer James Hong from marrying Dun's kidnapped fiance and sacrificing her in order to become mortal again. Big Trouble in Little China is completely immersed in over-the-top storylines, action, ans special effects that scream out "totally 80's". It's a hell of a fun film that has gained such a huge cult film status and rightfully so as, even in 2009, the film still manages to pack a punch and be overly entertaining. Definitely one of my favorites.

Event Horizon is the story of a rescue crew in space who have set out to investigate the return of a thought to be long gone ship, the Event Horizon, which was designed the travel faster than light by creating black holes to go through to reach the other end of their destination. Leading the film is tough leader Laurence Fishburne (one of his best roles), as well as Sam Neill (likewise), who plays the developer of the Event Horizon. As the crew enters the Event Horizon, the evil force that haunted and killed the original crew when they passed through their first black hole now starts to haunt and kill the new crew. The rest of the cast is rounded out nicely by Joely Richardson, Kathleen Quinlan, Jack Noseworthy, Sean Pertwee (whom I enjoyed a lot in this film), Richard T. Jones (seemingly cliched black comic relief, but does actually deliver some funny lines), and Jason Issacs (great character, would have loved to have seen him fleshed out more). When Director Paul W.S. Anderson (AVP: Alien vs. Predator, Resident Evil) wants to, he can make a really good movie, and Event Horizon is a perfect example. This is my favorite film from him. Some say the film has aged a lot in the 12 years its been out, but I disagree. The film packs enough moody sci-fi action and sheer horror to keep me entertained every time I view this. The cast works great, especially when its small-scale and full of popular names (at least, to me) who are fun in their roles. This has and will remain to be one of my favorites. Great movie.

I'm honestly torn whenever it comes to pondering the question over which of Mel Brooks' films were truly the best ones ever made. Usually my debate boils down to Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein. My initial response is always Blazing Saddles, but that chances immediately every time (like clockwork) after watching Young Frankenstein. With Young Frankenstein, Brooks' tackles to legendary Frankenstein mythology by presenting us with a spoof of Victor Frankenstein's grandson, played by Gene Wilder, whose embarrassed of his family pass until he's invited out to the infamous castle in Transylvania and uncovers all of his old work. With the assistance of Igor's grandson (the hilarious, late Marty Feldman) and hot assistant Teri Garr (seriously...hot!), they begin re-conducting the corpse reanimation on new monstrosity Peter Boyle (fantastic in this) with plenty of comical and hilariously corny moments that scream Mel Brooks. This films sports absolutely no shortage of funny moments, filled with enough 70's schtick and adult humor (don't let the PG rating fool you into thinking this is tame) to keep one entertained all throughout the movie. It's not just the aforementioned players delivering all the laughs, but one can look forward to small, hilarious roles from the likes of Cloris Leachman, Madeline Kahn, and a scene-stealing Gene Hackman as an old blind man. Now, after watching both of my favorite Mel Brooks' films recently and so closely together, it's STILL hard to pick which one's better, but in all honestly, if I had to only choose one, it would probably be Young Frankenstein. Flawless film.

Night of the Creeps is a true ode to fun 80's horror flicks that should not be missed. Aliens, slug creatures, a-hole frat dudes, hot sorority chicks, escaped mental patients, nerds, Dick Miller (Gremlins franchise), zombie frat dudes, and and the great Tom Atkins (Maniac Cop, Halloween III, My Bloody Valentine remake). With an impressive list like that, you'd be a complete moron to miss out on such an amazing film. After an alien unleashes a strange substance that falls onto Earth, little slugs start sliding around at super speed, going into random people's mouths, dead or alive, and turning them into alien zombie folk. It's up to college nerd Jason Lively, roommate Steve Marshall, hot sorority chick Jill Whitlow, and the aforementioned Tom Atkins (playing a hilariously sarcastic, hard-nosed detective) to stop the evil slugs before they take over the entire world. Ever aesthetic that makes up the 80's film era is jammed pack in this wonderful sci-fi/horror film. The film packs a lot of college humor (very reminiscent of Animal House) mixed with fun and entertaining horror. This is a definite classic that all movie fans should watch. It's also a true testament to those who abide by the saying "good things come to those who wait". After a VERY long wait, Night of the Creeps has finally made it onto DVD (as well as beautiful Blu-ray) and features the infamously extended ending, which I had never seen until now. Let's just say I was BEYOND thrilled to finally witness such greatness. LOVE this movie.

I have the great pleasure of being one of those weird eccentrics who loves his horror/sci-fi themed movies, as well as musicals with dance numbers and such. Before these types of films hit it big (i.e. Repo: The Genetic Opera, Sweeney Todd, The Corpse Bride), there was a small 80's remake of Little Shop of Horrors, a story about young Seymour Krelborn (Rick Moranis in a role that he was PERFECT for), where he works at a rundown flower shop on skid row, the slums of the big city. Aided by his boss, Vincent Gardenia and hot little number Audrey (Ellen Greene; also great in this), Seymour comes across a strange plant that pops up out of nowhere during a full eclipse that starts making the flower shop boom with business and success. Things get troublesome for Seymour as he starts to realize that the plant can't live without blood, which he gives it, causes it to grow bigger and bigger and bigger until it starts doing its own amusing song numbers and requiring much more than blood. This musical is nothing short of spectacular, with rousing dance and musical numbers by the core cast (and complimented greatly by sassy, back-up singers Tichina Arnold, Tisha Campbell, both of Martin fame, and Michelle Weeks), including the alien plant, voiced perfectly by late Four Tops singer Levi Stubbs. We are also graced with a bevy of great, comical cameos from the likes of Steve Martin (a sadist dentist), Bill Murray, Jim Belushi, Christopher Guest, and John Candy. Without a doubt, Little Shop of Horrors is my all-time favorite musical. Grease wishes it could be this damn good.

Rocky is the superbly inspirational story about a simple yet slightly dim-witted lone shark named Rocky Balboa (the great Sylvester Stallone) who also makes money doing amateur boxing. Life in the slums of Philadelphia has its ups and downs, but Rocky seems to look at the brighter side as he approaches his loansharking much more gently than the ones we are accustomed to. He also is a good friend to loud-mouth drunk Pauly (the excellent Burt Young), as well as makes attempts to befriend Pauly's sister Adrien (Talia Shire, also good). The chance of a lifetime drops in Rocky's lap when the world's heavyweight boxing Champion Apollo Creed (the excellent Carl Weathers) handpicks Rocky to box in an attempt to heavily promote a big boxing match. With the help of hard-nosed and slightly psychotic trainer Mickey (the late, great Burgess Meredith), Rocky trains and builds himself up to be the ultimate underdog in a rousing boxing math that is rivaled next to a deeply emotion and wonderfully told story (incidentally, was written by Stallone himself) about character and the positive lengths some will go to achieve greatness. I honestly cannot say enough great things about this movie. It is one of my all-time favorites that is a great watch from beginning to end (and what a powerful and wonderful ending!). Bang up direction from John G. Avildsen (who also did the first 3 Karate Kid movies), and a terrific story from Stallone, who also gives one of the greatest performances of a lifetime and finally broke through after appearing in small, throw away roles (though I do very much enjoy his villainous Machine Gun Joe role from Death Race 2000). There's also a great usage of Philadelphia culture. Bottom line: Flawless film.

With all the success of the original Rocky, it was only a matter of time before a sequel would come out, but some may have never guessed that it would be the franchise monster it turned into. Still, Rocky II delivers yet again as it delves into the same characters after the epic boxing match between Rocky (Sylvester Stallone again) and Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers again). As everyone returns back to their lives, all of them suffer big changes, when Rocky tries to get a regular job that slow degrades while Apollo is flooded with hate mail, threats, and accusations that he fixed the fight. Determined to get back in the ring, Creed challenges Rocky over and over until he finally accepts and goes back to training. The training between Rocky and Mickey (Burgess Meredith again) starts off bad with Adrian (Talia Shire again) has complications with her pregnancy and goes into a small coma, but they eventually get back on trap and conclude with yet another rousing and inspiring boxing match. Rocky II manages to be another entertaining and inspirational films. Written again and this time directed by Sylvester Stallone, he is able to keep with the same tone and flow as the first film and put a lot of focus on the characters rather than the boxing (which most people who automatically discount this film series seem to forget). The rest of the cast does a commendable job with helping to keep this movie at a level of excellence. While the franchise takes a more sillier turn in the 80's, there is still the greatness and allure of the original and its first sequel. Excellent movie. Wonderfully done.

Dressed with a cool title, an iconic horror villain, and three equally awesome sequels, 1979's Phantasm was the beginning of one of THE most unique, original, and rewarding horror franchises to ever grace film. The very first chapter has young kid Mike (A. Michael Baldwin) witnessing strange activities going on at Morningside mortuary and funeral, particularly involving the inhuman mortician only known as the Tall Man (the great Angus Scrimm), deadly flying spheres, missing bodies, a strange portal to another dimension, and little jawa dwarves running around. With the help of his older brother (Bill Thornbury) and good friend Reggie (also iconic Reggie Bannister), the three attempt to solve the mysteries going on, but proves to be much more dangerous (and deadlier) than they could have imagined. Phantasm is pure awesomeness; no doubt about it. Sure, by today's standards, this flick is definitely a bit dated and sometimes corny in it's delivery, but every bit of it screams cult classic. There's a good use of great effects (specially the flying spheres) and an engaging storyline to use those effects. Excellent writing and direction from then-newcomer Don Coscarelli whom, after only having done two kid's movies, made the big leap to horror films where fans embraced him whole-heatedly with open arms. Upon revisiting all four Phantasm films, I could NOT believe just how original and unique and ahead-of-their-time these movies were. A very rewarding franchise to horror fans that definitely deserves a bit more attention than it normally gets. Awesome start.