You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)

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  October 28, 2011

  SirPant

  It's nice to see a Woody Allen film shot in London, it's just a shame that it wasn't a very good film. I saw none of him in this film and I disliked the cast of actors that I generally and usually like. I do wish Allen would stop trying so hard to do European cinema, Vicky Cristi... read morena Barcelona was good but again, it felt like it was an imitation of modern Spanish cinema. I guess sometimes it work and sometimes it doesn't but I feel it is wearing a little thin (although Midnight in Paris sounds like a return to form). Quality not quantity please Mr. Allen, and without wanting to sound too harsh, we have a couple of directors by the names of Mike Leigh and Ken Loach who do these kinds of films of over here and they do them better. That was a bit harsh but I'm afraid I was bored to tears during this film and I want my money back!

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  October 16, 2011

  blacksheepboy

  There is clearly no purpose in the existence of this film, and Allen should have come up with something much more relevant to say than that illusion is always better than reality. A soulless "tale of sound and fury that signifies nothing" and never knows whether to be a comedy, a... read more romance or a drama.

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  May 18, 2011

  fb100000145236770

  Woody Allen movies are very hit and miss with me. I haven't really seen much of his older stuff, but I've seen a lot of his new stuff. "Match Point" and "Vicky Christina Barcelona" are both fantastic movies. But neither "Anything Else" or "Whatever Works" did anything for me. ... read more So I watched this hoping it would be good as it has a great cast. Naomi Watts, Anthony Hopkins, Josh Brolin, among others sound like a true all star roster of talent. But, this movie is downright horrible. I lost interest after about 15 minutes, and didn't make it through to the end. The story is weak, it has a needless narrator, and the acting is horrible. My biggest complaint is that the actors appear to be reading their dialogue instead of acting it out. It's almost like it is a bad play. I'll probably continue to watch future Woody Allen movies, but if they continue to be this bad, I'll give up on him completely. Just skip this crap and rent "Match Point" instead.

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  May 11, 2011

  cosmo313

  Even with uninspired, half-assed, shrugged off work like this, there's still some redeeming elements. It's not terrible, but it is rahter blah. I did like the music though, and some individual moments are fun, and I do like the cast, but nothing really stands out as wonderful her... read moree.
  
  I don't get it either. If Woody is tired of and bored with making films, then he should just stop instead of continuing to make stuff like this. I don't know if it's possible (I hope it is) but Woody just needs to catch that spark that helped bring about his best work, and use it to create mayvbe just one more masterpiece. I'll keep seeing his new stuff (and more of his old), but I'll find it hard to continue caring if it all keeps turning out to be irrelevant, meandering crap like this.

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  April 30, 2011

  jennifxu

  Nothing draws in a horde of old people like a new Woody Allen movie. The audience is largely composed of the same people every time, people who have learned to recognize the faithful constants - the jazzy score underlying the black screened credits (this time, Leon Redbone's "Whe... read moren You Wish Upon a Star"); the curly text headlining forever producer Letty Aronson ("his sister," the woman sitting in the third row whispers to her husband); the beachy, peachy hues recalling a time and place that never existed, and - in recent years, the annoying voiceover narration opening the first scene that introduces the young protagonista, Sally (Naomi Watts, "King Kong").
  
  Woody Allen's latest, "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger," starts off swimmingly, following an artsy upper-crust British family that twists and turns its relationships with the ease of a French silk scarf. Crowded with almost as many stars as "Valentine's Day," the film is better introduced by the actors' names rather than by the confusion of their characters' - Watts, Josh Brolin ("Milk") as her failed-author husband, Antonio Banderas ("Shrek") as her sexy art gallery boss, Gemma Jones ("Bridget Jones's Diary") and Anthony Hopkins ("Beowulf") as her recently-divorced parents trying to stave off their inevitable decay into old age, Lucy Punch ("Hot Fuzz") as Hopkins's new wife and Frieda Pinto ("Slumdog Millionaire") as the alluring young neighbor.
  
  To any newcomer, the mélange of star power might seem a bit overwhelming, but Woody has always been good with ensemble casts, and "Stranger" is no exception. And truly, at least for the first few moments, the director seems back in his prime, comfortably zinging through his well-worn topics of discontent, neuroses and nebbish insecurity with relative success. Feelings of cosmic insignificance in the universe? Check. The rise and fall of marriage? The tragedy of the conflicted writer? The supernatural as farce? Check, check, check. Granted, the chemistry between the lovers is kind of lacking, and the fights are not very tense, but you know, all that is forgivable - it's a light enough movie to get by.
  
  Then it ends. Seriously, it just ends. And what's more, this is the gem "Stranger" chooses to close off with: "Sometimes, the illusion is better than the medicine." What is that even supposed to mean? Never in the history of moviemaking has an ending been so sublimely ill-placed. Was Woody simply too lazy to come up with a proper third act for his latest film? Or, gasp, was he simply not capable of thinking of one?
  
  Had it come from any other modern director, the film's sparkling high points would certainly have overridden any negativity derived from the ending. Yet from Woody, it's a certifiable flop. Sure, we get a few laughs, a few fresh faces (Punch is particularly promising as the prostitute-come-diamond-swathed-trophy-wife of Hopkins, recalling the fervor and grace of a young, dizzy Mira Sorvino), some faithful droplets of neuroticism twisted into the central plot - all that stuff we've come to expect from every Woody Allen film since 1977.
  
  Yet the thing that's lacking from "Stranger" - that's been lacking from every film since "Sweet and Lowdown" - is the brief leak of emotions, the chill of realization that has become the heart and soul of all Woody classics: Allen's pregnant pause in "Annie Hall" before he mourns "Annie and I broke up;" the "What makes life worth living?" speech in "Manhattan;" Dianne Wiest's soft and tender "I'm pregnant" in "Hannah and Her Sisters." But what exactly have the aughts yielded for us? Threesomes and murder? Even the decade's best, the nubile "Match Point" and "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," are missing that brief descent from sexy fantasy-romp into reality.
  
  In fact, "Stranger"'s absent ending isn't so much an anomaly as it has become a growing constant of its own, as distasteful to the audience as the grating voiceover narrations. These shifting constants mark the tragic realization that we all don't want to admit: that the world is no longer relevant to Woody. And what's worse, that Woody is no longer relevant to us.
  
  Not that this news will make the flock of Woody aficionados (and particularly, um, this reviewer) attend any fewer of his films, as the numbers in the box office can attest to. Our commitment practically mirrors the constants of a Woody Allen movie: When the film ended, there were claps in the audience, because there are always claps. When the lights went up, people stayed on afterwards to watch the credits, because they always do.
  
  With each new movie around the corner, all we really want to see is "the next great Woody Allen movie," and we are willing to wait for it until the day we die. Maybe that masterpiece will come, and maybe it won't, but in the meantime, all we can do hold onto the constants - these glimmers of past greatness. Because for us, the illusion is better than the medicine, any day.

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  March 13, 2011

  neverteaseaweasel

  No, it's not brilliant, but by and large it works as a film. It has to be one of Woody Allen's more generic films, though. I mean, where's the flair. It's clever and dry, but the actual idea and plot does not have any punch. The premise itself is just far more conventional that I... read more woul dever have expected to see. The film is made up of varied connected storylines, which is something i like. The best thing here, however, is that it is actually possible to keep track of who belongs where and what's happened. Generally speaking, I tend to forget those things - like The Informants, who can follow that? This is much better, all the characters connect together in ways that are easy to trace and are obvious. I enjoyed seeing Freida Pinto again after Slumdog Millionaire, although she did seem to have more life as Latika than as Dia. Idk, this would have been so much better had it just been a bit more creative and jazzy. As it stands now, it's awfully conventional and as such just isn't all that endearing.

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  February 23, 2011

  hobster1

  Wry ensemble film begins by paraphrasing Shakespeare with the quote, "Life was full of sound and fury, and in the end signified nothing." With a meek start like that, the director has all but guaranteed a trivial movie to follow. Woody Allen's umpteenth reflection on cheating an... read mored relationships follows a pair of married couples. As in most Woody Allen comedies there are multiple characters and storylines. In this case, the script feels unfocused and mundane. An exciting development regarding Josh Brolin's character, a struggling writer, materializes about two-thirds of the way through. Without giving anything away, the situation concerns his new book and an acquaintance who is in a coma. But just when the action starts to get interesting, the film literally stops, robbed of a conclusion. Somewhere there is a wonderful little movie buried in this script. If Allen had focused on taking this idea to a clever conclusion, the story might have been a bit more engaging. Unfortunately as it stands, many plot threads are left dangling. True to it's opening quote, we're left with nothing.

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  February 21, 2011

  fernandorafael

  His latest film may not be one of his best, but it's still very Woody Allen. Sort of a lighter follow-up to Vicky Cristina Barcelona, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger is Allen's fourth film set in London. With characters that are sad and desperate, some splendid dialog and line... read mores with rapid delivery, but also a few loose ends and underperforming actors who don't usually underperform (see Naomi Watts, Anthony Hopkins), YWMATDS shouldn't be taken too seriously. Gemma Jones is the best element among the cast; Lucy Punch stands out, too. Anna Friel should be given more work, not only in this but, you know, in general.

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  February 20, 2011

  LWOODS04

  Cast: Gemma Jones, Pauline Collins, Anthony Hopkins, Rupert Frazer, Kelly Harrison, Naomi Watts, Josh Brolin, Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch, Eleanor Gecks, Antonio Banderas, Ewen Bremner, Anna Friel
  
  Director: Woody Allen
  
  Summary: After her husband's (Anthony Hopkins) midlife c... read morerisis drives him into the arms of a younger woman (Lucy Punch), Helena (Gemma Jones) consults a psychic (Pauline Collins) to learn what fate has in store for her and is told that she'll soon meet a tall, dark stranger who will become the love of her life. Meanwhile, the pair's daughter (Naomi Watts) and her husband (Josh Brolin) grapple with their own extramarital attractions.
  
  My Thoughts: "What a waste of a great cast. I say waste, because the story is bland and quite boring. The performances were very good and all, but the film failed to make me care about anything that was going on, or about any of it's character's. A shame really, considering the cast."

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  February 19, 2011

  hunterjt13

  Woody Allen is a committed atheist. We see this in his stand-up, Crimes and Misdemeanors, Deconstructing Harry, and Match Point. What is more, one of the funniest lines in Husbands and Wives is spoken by Jack's ditsy arm ornament, "why wouldn't the p... read moreosition of the planets have an influence on our personalities?" But his latest work, Whatever Works and You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger, both seem to affirm a fate-based character in ways that problematize Allen's commitment to a chaotic worldview. It started in Match Point, in which the deus ex machina worked because of luck, but in Whatever Works a diviner lets Larry David fall on her because it's implied that she knows the collision will blossom into a successful relationship. Here, Helena visits a diviner, and throughout the film, we're waiting for her trust to be misplaced, but the conclusion avoids predictability, no matter if you're an Allen fan or simply familiar with film cliches. At first look, we might be compelled to think that our diminutive, clever atheist has "seen the light" as he enters the final quarter of a century, but there's a line that runs through the entire film, serving as its backbone and making this one of Allen's most cynical efforts: "Sometimes illusions work better than real medicine." Thus, we're invited to laugh at and ridicule all of these characters, no matter how life turns out for them. In the end, it doesn't matter whether the diviner's predictions come true because everyone in this film is equally foolish in part because of their insistence to predict the unpredictable, and they equally doomed to a life "full of sound and fury but signifying nothing."
  I've said this often, but I think it's time to write it: one day, probably in my lifetime, Woody Allen will be dead. And even films like this, which was critically panned, are going to serve as reminders of this film auteur. I, for one, am going to miss characters who read and know about art, literature, and opera. I'm going to miss stories that are goofy but seem to point out the ridiculousness of life. I'm going to miss Woody Allen. A lot.

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• Antonio Banderas as Greg Clemente
• Josh Brolin as Roy
• Anthony Hopkins as Alfie
• Freida Pinto as Dia
• Naomi Watts as Sally
• Lucy Punch as Charmaine
• Gemma Jones as Helena
• Jim Piddock as Peter
• Alex MacQueen as Malcolm Dodds

Click a thumb to vote on that suggestion, or add your own suggestions.

• 
  Midnight in Paris (89%)
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  Match Point (97%)
• 
  Vicky Cristina Barcelona (97%)
• 
  Whatever Works (89%)

• • Roy: You inspire me.
• • Sally: There is no such thing as predicting the future!

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