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Susan Tom, Anthony Tom, Faith Tom, Joe Tom, Margaret Tom ... see more see more... , Xenia Tom

Susan Tom of Fairfield, CA, is not a typical single mother -- Tom is the head of a family of 11 adopted children, all of whom are physically challenged or living with long-term illnesses. Tom and her ... read more read more...special family are the subject of My Flesh and Blood, a documentary which examines the dynamic of this household, as well as the often demanding physical and emotional needs of the 11 kids and the heavy emotional burden Tom must sometimes carry as she looks after children who may not survive to adulthood. Produced for the HBO premium cable network, My Flesh and Blood was screened in competition at the 2003 Sundance Film Festival. ~ Mark Deming, Rovi

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90% liked it

1,300 ratings

Critics

90% liked it

30 critics

Unrated, 1 hr. 23 min.

Directed by: Jonathan Karsh

Release Date: November 28, 2003

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DVD Release Date: November 30, 2004

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Stats: 118 reviews

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Flixster Reviews (118)


  • September 11, 2011
    This documentary features a family composed of one adopting mother and eleven disabled children.
    It's almost impossible to write a review about this film. I can say for certain only that it was well-made, able to intimately capture its subjects' lives. Beyond that, there isn't ... read moremuch I can write without caveat.
    When the film first introduces us to Susan Tom -- during the first fifteen minutes -- we have already seen one of her children threaten to kill one or more of the rest. Additionally, we've met Faith, who has been burned to the point that she has no capability to grow hair, her skin looking like it's pasted-on putty, and Anthony, who has open sores across his face and body. Xenia, who has no legs, looks like she has it easy in comparison. My first thought about Susan Tom was one of condemnation. It seemed to me that she was mixing dangerous brew because the work that must go in to caring for all of these children with all of their ailments must mean that some needs get ignored. I thought that Susan Tom's behavior was motivated by a deep need to feel loved and admired, and such behavior ultimately worked to the detriment of the people she tries to help. As I continued watching the film, I saw this play out in Susan's relationship with Margaret, her biological daughter and the person, who, for me, becomes the most sympathetic "character' in the film. Margaret has some heart-wrenching moments when she begs her occupied mother for attention and approval but is ultimately told to "wait until tomorrow morning."
    But this is a person's real life that I'm writing about, so I feel uncomfortable attempting to be objective or judgmental about it, and I don't think I would be able to say what I just wrote to Tom's face. Why? Because she's caring for people whom society treats with little but pity. Though she falters at times, most of the time she accomplishes a daunting task.
    Overall, though my first reaction is to find Susan Tom's actions reprehensible even as the film attempts to convince me to celebrate her, I can't say that my first reaction held true throughout the remainder of the film.
  • September 23, 2010
    Broke my heart... The truth of it all, these kids (although handicapped/disabled in their ways) have a better home life than most of the families I know. Scary thought, but so true.
  • April 30, 2010
    Humane, absorbing and life-affirming documentary about a unconventional family made up of one mum and eleven varyingly-disabled adopted children. It shouldn't work but it does, thanks to the matter- of-fact handling of the subject by the director and the children. No mawkishness ... read moreor halo-polishing here, and a good one to watch the next time you think you've got it tough. ..
  • July 13, 2008
    Hard to watch at times, but well worth the ride. This angel of a lady deserves some kind of award, if she hasn't already.
  • January 16, 2010
    Emotionally manipulative snuff film. I'm indifferent to these sort of documentaries. On one side, there's the fact that it isn't boring based on its atypical content; on the other, it's moralistic on a small familial scale, arguing some things about nature that I won't address be... read morecause people will ignorantly point me out as a heartless SOB. Sort of sensationalist if you ponder how the filmmakers found out about the nonconsanguineous family. And it's difficult to watch people writhe in physical and mental agony. Damn breeders, quit your uneducated and irrational copulation!
  • April 19, 2009
    No words of mine can do this film the justice it deserves. Its humanity changed my perspective on life.
  • November 18, 2007
    A very engaging doc about a woman's unorthodox family, comprised of 13 kids, most with varying degrees of physical or mental disabilities. The dynamics of the family itself, and one boy in particlar, Joe, are fascinating throughout. In the end, it's an inspiring watch -- and good... read more luck not getting attatched to at least one of the kids they show.
  • September 15, 2007
    Adopting just one of these children would be a daunting task. I can't imagine caring for 11 special needs children. God bless Susan Tom!
  • August 7, 2007
    This is worth a watch. Sometimes you forget how much someone has to sacrifice to show love to another. This helped me remember that if I am blessed enough to be able to live a "normal" life, then I need to spend it helping those who aren't. 1
  • September 27, 2006
    WARNING: you will cry, and you will cringe, and you will remember what you saw and heard for a LONG time.

Critic Reviews


Michael O'Sullivan
February 20, 2004
Michael O'Sullivan, Washington Post

Poignant, heartbreaking proof that, sometimes, love is just not enough.

Ann Hornaday
February 20, 2004
Ann Hornaday, Washington Post

For an agonizing and ultimately transcendent cinematic portrait of sacrifice, love and saving grace, audiences need look no further than this unpretentious and deeply moving film.

Michael Rechtshaffen
December 2, 2003
Michael Rechtshaffen, Hollywood Reporter

In turns heart-wrenching and eye-opening, this documentary is one of the year's best.

Kevin Thomas
December 1, 2003
Kevin Thomas, Los Angeles Times

The effect on her children of Susan Tom's call to serve and cherish is enthralling to behold, and My Flesh and Blood deeply honors her and her family. Full Review

Jonathan Curiel
November 28, 2003
Jonathan Curiel, San Francisco Chronicle

The experiences of this family from Fairfield will resonate with moviegoers around the country. Full Review

John Anderson
November 28, 2003
John Anderson, Newsday

There may have been 'no grand plan' to Susan Tom's life, as she says, but grand is a good word for what's happened. Full Review

Stephen Whitty
November 28, 2003
Stephen Whitty, Newark Star-Ledger

A movie that quickly shows us what giving thanks, and being brave, is really all about. Full Review

Stephen Holden
November 28, 2003
Stephen Holden, New York Times

An unforgettable experience. Full Review

V.A. Musetto
November 28, 2003
V.A. Musetto, New York Post

Some of the afflictions are so disturbing, you might have to turn your eyes from the children. Susan Tom doesn't have that option. And 11 children are all the better for it.

Owen Gleiberman
November 26, 2003
Owen Gleiberman, Entertainment Weekly

You'd have to be a stone not to be affected by My Flesh and Blood, but the director, Jonathan Karsh, merges compassion with voyeurism until you can't tell the difference. Full Review

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