fascinating, original black comedy that jump started the careers of superstar Paulina Porizkova(Intern, female perversions) and a-list director Skip Woods (Thursday). needless to say this is a very funny black comedy that is not only fascinating, but original. Also known as the film that influenced QuentinTarantino to write Pulp Fiction!
much credit to the title. everytime i watch it i have to run to walmart or wherever the hell they sell frozen pizzas and get me a big ol' tasty pepperoni tombstone. im sorry, but the movie just looks stale, under-cooked, and half-baked... WHEN COMPARED TO THE PEPPERONI-ISH GOODNESS OF TOMBSTONE PIZZAS!
(copyright. walmart frozen food section/ tombstone four cheese@ walmart.com)
If someone tells you that George Clooney is in this movie, they are a moron. Yes, he is IN the movie. but do you remember that? a bad aftertaste is no doubt included in a chocolate covered cherry but is that what people mention when they talk about chocolate covered cherries? About a hundred people in the world know who the actor Elias Koteas is. guess what? he has the largest part in this movie.
This looks like the biggest piece of shit ever made, so ill see it. i mean look at the cast: CHRIS BROWN. yea. Chris Brown... oh, you want more? ok. T.I.... T. fucking I. i went and looked at T.I.'s bio or whatever you call it and it literally says, "T.I. is an actor as well as a rapper." WOW. you can say that again! im seeing this piece of shit when it comes out, cause i wanna have my mind blown.
"We're takers, dawg. dats what we do for a living. we take."
You see, there are two La Boeufs. theres the La Boeuf who stars in transformers and uh... transformers 2. and then theres this guy who makes John Wayne look like a pussy. niiiiice.
Ashley Greene... Ashley Greene. Oh, im terribly sorry. what were we on about? Twilighighght Eclipse. it sucks. also um... uh.. well you know it just.. sucks. now if you'll excuse me. Ashley Greene... Ashley Greene. ASHLEY GREENE.
what a beautiful surprising movie. Joaquin is amazing. i heard a rumor that hes retiring or something and that would really suck. Gwyneth Paltrow is really good like she usually is and Elias Koteas is one of the best supporting actors around, yet he is almost like the invisible man to the public. Vinessa Shaw gets hotter every year. ok back to the movie though. Joaquin plays an awkward reclusive i want to say autistic man but i dont know. maybe hes autistic in real life, in which case im an asshole for saying that. this is one of the most realistic lovestories ive seen in a while. it plays like life. the writers didnt sit down and say "what ironic quirky line could he say here" its not trying to impress with over-the-top indie-ness. it just tries to be a good film.
You may think Dennis Quaid is in this movie, but no. he is not. actually, just to be 100% that hes not in it, during the part where Zeta-Jones is leaving court for the first time, close your eyes for like 7 seconds and then open them when you hear Del Toro's voice. your welcome.
Downeys Resume should be packed in about 2 years thanks to this.... also what did Downey use to wipe off the black face when the movie ended? Downey paper towels.
pretty good but it absolutely pissed me off that they ruined my favorite character (Donotello). he was perfect in the original, and then in the 2nd they made him like a computer whiz or something, and now hes just a huge nerd thats not even funny anymore... WHAT HAS HOLLYWOOD DONE TO MY SWEET DONOTELLO?!?!?.... its like everytime they make a textbook they have to keep all the pictures really diverse so they put like 30 pics of guys in wheelchairs. ok thats NOT diversity thats false representation of the handicapped. they are a minority. so why act like every group of friends hangs out with a person in a wheelchair?? And so every comic-book movie DOES NOT NEED A NERDY CHARACTER!!!!
let me say one positive thing about Pelham 123. it was entertaining. despite Travoltas cartoonish way of playing a villain, a crap supporting cast, and ridiculous corny jokes ( "death might seem good compared to certain parts of my life" says Travolta "ay sounds like hes met my ex-wife!".... yea) i guess its good for a friday night... wait what day is it??
Michael:" No, i dont have to see the screen, ok. i-im juss gonna like, feeeel it."
it has now been about a year since this came out, and when it first came out i didnt know who the hell ORIANTHI was, i just gave wrote her off as some british bitch trying to sing like shes from Tennessee and shes playing the shit out of her guitar in a movie about Michael Jackson two weeks before she poisons him so people will go "WHOA! Chicks can play guitar, huh?", and now that ive heard her music, i applaud myself for knowing that based on 5 minutes of footage and its just like "PSssshh. screw this bitch. she aint no Carrie Underwood."
thats all.
Look closely to notice Melissa George's peach fuzz moustache. it is there whether you like it or not. most likely not. for that reason and for other reasons, i look forward to not seeing her in the future, thanks to a few shit-bombs like "the Crazies" and this handful of himalayan kitten shit. thanks for sucking so hard, "Triangle!"
alot of punchin' and jumpin' and crouching tiger-style wall leaps and shit and theres a story too, but fuck if i know. i fell asleep around the 3rd fight and thank god i didn't wake up in time to see the next 8. if they're faithful to the video game, then there should be 11 fights but god holy Joseph fucking shit i could not care a bit. please don't feed Netflix money for this one. they're already hauling in enough from the L-Word and fucking Zack Gallofunakkist and whoever else.
When is this fucking picture supposed to take place? 1970's? 1940's? now? judging by Vincent's outfits, it should be 1979, except he dresses like that everyday on and off the sets of movies. i think his mother brought him home from the hospital with women's bell-bottoms and red boots on. its pretty funny to watch him in 90% of his scenes with an unlit cigarette in his mouth and it just sits there like a funny hat. he moves it around with his teeth, takes it in and out between words, and the few times you see him light it, no smoke comes out of his mouth. so i think he's trying some of those new toothpicks that are designed to look like cigarettes. he doesn't smoke in real life. as a Vincenzo obsessor, i can say this is one of his best works in terms of just being an italian prick. this is also apparently the first film he had rehearsed for, which shows because you can see the prickiness in his eyes in every shot. and when he lights his cigarettes and doesn't even take the energy to inhale, you can just tell he fucking hates people really hard. Vincent Gallo mumbles the word "asshole" in his sleep.
not a happy film. not a terrible one either. but it does have a cop with a big moustache and a gun that he never uses. people have flashy show-offy names and speak words that don't make a lick of sense. i don't know. i wish they could just speak american. if i made this movie there would be more shooting and he would have a shiny golden gun but it would have fuzzy pink dice hanging from the bottom to symbolize his masculinity in a time of conflict and consequently his need for eliminating figures who threaten his character in turn threatens his own sanity while stimulating his ego... err umm i mean i would get him to fuck that blond chick and shoot guys with his fuzzy dice gun at the same time and they would be covered in foreign blood after fucking and it would be sweet and win some non-american awards or something.
"why do you think im a gangster, sweet-face?"
" i dont know, because your names Jimmy the Saint, and you have slicked back hair" .....wow man, thats great writing. great writing