2013


  1. Bostonceltics6
  2. Nick

All the reviews I did in 2013.

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1
The Wiz 1978,  G)
The Wiz
My first review of the 2013 is starting off with something terrible- a true abolishment to film that practically ruined one of the greatest films ever made! I hate musicals already, as some of you know, which makes me angry with this movie already but there's a ton of flaws and strange crap in the movie that, maybe, purposely tears into the Wizard of Oz and sets on fire, deletes the footage and retapes it with some of Quincy Jones' next door neighbors. It's that bad.
Well, the story's not that different if you already know the plot of the original, Dorothy Gale, who by the way lives in Harlem instead of Kansas, is a kindergarten teacher who gets sucked into a tornado and sent to the land of Oz. The Munchkins are kids who are living drawings of graffiti (literally alive graffiti drawings) and of course, Dorothy goes off to see The Wiz. Nope, not the Wizard, that's too old. We need to get some flashy play on words in this movie, so let's call him The Wiz! While you're at it, why not call him "Da Wiz"? Sorry, just a LOT of anger at that part. Anyways, she meets the Scarecrow, who is played by Michael Jackson, who has no brain, the Tin Man, who has no heart, and the Cowardly Lion, who has no courage. So they venture off on a quest to visit the Wizard. This results in a crapload of bad musical numbers that waste at least a half hour of the film. Not only are the musical numbers bad, but most of the scenes are psychedelic and don't make sense. Anyway, the Wicked Witch of the West has a sweatshop in this version and sings funky Motown songs in her spare time, just like the original! Dorothy defeats her quickly and finds out that the Wiz is a fraud and is really just Richard Pryor, desperate after being in Superman 3. Dorothy wishes to go back to Harlem and she does by the power of Lena Horne! The end of a terrible and strange, strange movie.
Okay, if you thought I was hard enough on the movie already I go harder in this part. For one, Diana Ross' portrayal of Dorothy is terrible. She cries a lot in the film and makes unbelievably bad crying faces. Michael Jackson just prances around, Nipsey Russell plays the Tin Man and isn't half bad and neither is the guy who played the Cowardly Lion. The musical numbers are okay and I can name one that is kinda catchy, but like I said most of them are slow Diana Ross songs and are time consuming. It's also way too long and very psychedelic- everything comes alive and the makers totally butchered the original. The Wiz is a piece of crap movie with piece of crap songs.
2
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey 2011,  PG)
Being Elmo: A Puppeteer's Journey
A great movie for all audiences that is very, very interesting. It's a documentary about the puppeteer of plays Elmo on Sesame Street, Kevin Clash. Clash grew up wanting to work on Sesame Street and with legend Jim Henson, so he made his own puppets at home and followed his dream, despite ridicule from people at his school. Clash eventually worked on public access shows, then on Captain Kangaroo, then on Henson's 1984 film Labyrinth before playing numerous puppets on Sesame Street. In 1987, Elmo was introduced as a somewhat worthless character with a scratchy voice for a short time before he was turned into the Elmo we know today. It of course shows the 1997 "Tickle Me Elmo" frenzy and how Elmo turned from a recurring Muppet to today's most known muppet. It's a shame what happened to Clash nowadays. He was accused of being in sexual relationships with a teenage boy which caused so much controversy that Clash quit Sesame Street and was no longer Elmo. It's sad yet disturbing at the same time, but still Clash seems like a nice guy and I think right now he's just in a big mess. Being Elmo is an excellent, good hearted movie for all ages.
3
Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer 2011,  PG)
Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer
...*sigh* Judy Moody and the NOT Bummer Summer is terrible. Just terrible. This is the most kid-targeted movie I've ever seen, really! It feels like the film's literally written by kids, using terms as "thrilladelic" and "uber-awesome". It's not funny, too targeted for kids, and, quite frankly, embarrassing.
Based on the somewhat popular kids' book series, Judy Moody isn't all that moody, just a brat. Summer is coming and she doesn't want it to be boring, but all of her friends are doing "cool" things like going to circus camp and some fictional tropical island (Yes, these are actual summer plans featured in the film). Judy gets upset over this while her parents go off to Florida to care for a dying relative. Their Aunt Opal (Heather Graham) watches them, but watches them for the ENTIRE summer. Judy's parents watch over this relative for an entire three months! Opal is kinda weird, she's a guerilla artist who acts like a 10 year-old. She reminds me of Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka portrayal, only not as annoying and the fact that Graham is hot makes the film a lot better. Anyway, Judy tries to make the summer fun with "fun points", as one is rewarded with 10 fun points every time a thrill is done. These thrills include a crapload of slapstick scenes, including riding a roller coaster, seeing a scary movie, and tight roping, all ruined by Judy's nerdy friend Frank. The subplot of the movie is about Judy's little brother Stink, who won't give up on proving Bigfoot is real by catching him. Judy is a non-Bigfoot believer but when she realizes that if she catches him, she will be famous, she and Stink try to catch him, which is the main story of the last 40 or so minutes. ANOTHER subplot is that Judy and Frank try to find their teacher, Mr. Todd, who says during the summer he will be going someplace cold (which turns out he works at an ice cream shop during the summer.
This is bad. Very bad. It's a ripoff of the successful Diary of a Wimpy Kid films, only for girls instead of boys. And let me tell you, Judy Moody is nothing but girly. It's not funny, not entertaining, and, man, is it for kids. That rounds it up, I guess. 'Nuff said.
4
The Artist 2011,  PG-13)
The Artist
When I first was planning on seeing The Artist, I was not interested. I was thinking it would bore me due to no dialogue in the film, but after I finished the movie I was amazed on how great this film was. It entertained me at every minute.
It's in the format of a silent film, black and white and no dialogue. It follows the movie industry in the late 1920s, focusing mainly on silent film star George Valentin. Valentin, smiling for paparazzi, is bumped into accidentally by a young girl known as Peppy Miller, who eventually starts appearing as an extra in movies. As "talkies" start to dominate the industry and Peppy becomes a major celebrity, George wants to prove that silent films can still be popular by making his own film, but it fails at the box office. If this wasn't bad already, George's wife kicks him out and his items have been sold at an auction. However, Peppy and George's friendship has become strong and with this, anything is possible.
A great, great great movie. I wish these actors were in more movies because they were absolutely phenomonial. George Valentin reminds me of Walt Disney in a way, and Dujardin portrayed him perfectly. Bejo also was great with her Peppy portrayal, and I wish these French actors and actresses were in more American movies. A great film for all ages, and even though it holds the PG-13 rating, I can only name one part with mild cursing, so it's not terribly explicit.
5
Planes, Trains and Automobiles 1987,  R)
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
A very funny movie, in fact one of my favorite comedies, starring the both hilarious Steve Martin and John Candy.
Martin plays Neal Page, a stressed businessman hoping to be home for Thanksgiving to be with his family in Chicago. As he misses flights and unfortunate events strike him, Neal meets a shower curtain ring salesman named Del Griffith. Del is annoying, rude, and somewhat ignorant, annoying Neal along the whole way. It's pretty much one hilarious scene after the other, and the ending is pretty sad, I must say.
A great movie, hilarious and fun. I really miss John Candy, who was hilarious and crowd-pleasing, fitting Del's role perfectly. Martin played the workaholic character very well, it was a very entertaining movie. It's not that inappropriate, it would actually have a PG rating if it were not for the scene where Martin drops f-bomb after f-bomb at the rental car lady. It's a great movie, and I'd say it should just be rated PG-13.
6
What's Opera, Doc? 1957,  Unrated)
What's Opera, Doc?
What's Opera Doc is probably the most famous of the Looney Tunes shorts and it's for a good reason. It's a good and funny 7 minute short starring the ever-lasting feud between Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd. In an opera-like setting, Elmer tries to "kill the wabbit" but falls in love with Brunhilde, who is secretly Bugs in drag as a German girl. It's a funny set-up and it's great animation for its time, a job well done.
7
Steamboat Willie 1928,  Unrated)
Steamboat Willie
Steamboat Willie, the very first Disney short, is phenomenal. The animation for its time, 1928, is simply incredible. Its 8 minutes of glory and beauty are very entertaining, with the very first appearances of Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, and Peg-Leg Pete. These characters we all know and love appear on a steamboat causing trouble, scoring up laughs from the audience, and creating a tuneful melody from various items and animals on the boat. This is one of the classic movies you need to see before you die because it is simply amazing. Walt Disney is one of the most innovative and brilliant men of his time.
8
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz 2005,  PG)
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz
The Muppets' Wizard of Oz is a lot like The Wiz, but not as terrible as The Wiz. It's pretty bad, though, and it's not funny, predictable (even if you never HAVE watched the original), and a big waste of time.
It's pretty much the same story as usual, except easily-forgettable one hit wonder Ashanti plays Dorothy and dreams of being a famous singer. She works part-time at her aunt and uncle's diner, by the way. You know the drill, she gets sucked into a tornado, goes off to see the Wizard of Oz. Kermit's the Scarecrow, Gonzo's the Tin Man, and Fozzie's The Cowardly Bear (rolls eyes). Pepe also annoys us even further by portraying Toto. Miss Piggy plays all 3 witches, which gets old after a while. Since this is a kids' movie, it ends on a happy note, yay.
This movie's pretty bad, or should I say, TV film, noting that it was premiered on ABC. Ashanti can't act, and of course she is perfect for the role of a kids movie noting that her 2002 album "Ashanti" has hundreds of curse words in each song. Anyway, it's not very funny, either, with dry jokes that kids won't get ("Uh, are you related to Frank Oz?"). Even Kelly Osbourne makes a cameo, who kids will be react to as "Who's that scary girl, mommy?". David Alan Grier and Queen Latifah play Aunt Em and , uh, Uncle Whatshisname, and aren't half bad, probably the only good actors in the movie. Also, did I mention that Quentin Tarantino is in this, pitching a dumb idea on a fighting scene that has an enormous upgrade to the budget? He's actually kinda funny. Anyway, this Muppet film, unlike the others, really sucks. Don't waste your time on this thing.
9
War Horse 2011,  PG-13)
War Horse
War Horse was a movie I watched in History class recently because it follows World War I. It's a pretty good Spielberg film, but way too simple and heartwarming.
The film follows a horse named Joey, whose owner is a guy named Albert. Albert loves the horse, but must give it away to use it for World War I. As the film goes on, Joey goes to several different owners, who usually die somehow in the end. The movie is all about heartwarming animal moments, usually with girls in the audience screaming for Joey not to die. It's too simple of a movie.
It's not a terrible movie or a bad movie, it's just okay. At some parts, it's exciting and then fades away to being boring. I'm not the animal guy, so it didn't appeal a whole lot to me. Not Spielberg's best movie...
10
Here Comes the Boom 2012,  PG)
Here Comes the Boom
When I first bought this movie, I was expecting it to be like any other Kevin James film: silly and kinda dumb. Well, I was right, partially. It was silly and dumb, but better than previous movies such as Zookeeper.
It's like Rocky with a dumb, modern-day twist: Scott Voss is played by James, he's that "fun and wacky" high school teacher who everybody loves. When his school must shut down the music classes due to budget cuts, it also means that Scott's friend and the music teacher, Marty, must be laid off. In order to save the music classes, Scott starts to be in a fighting league, of course going higher and higher in the ranks as the film goes on. There's also a dumb subplot that Scott teaches English classes at night school for those who want to be US citizens, especially this one guy who used to be a UFC fighter who trains Scott. The character is used for a dumb comic relief and isn't needed.
The movie is predictable from beginning to end. It's almost a cliche movie, one of those heartwarming "teacher with a good heart" movies. But nonetheless, sometimes it's a little funny. My dad joined me on this one and he certainly laughed more than I did. It's not the funniest film in the world, but some parts made me chuckle. Like I said, it's very predictable and I actually wouldn't suggest it, noting it's flat and slapstick at some parts and it's too predictable.
11
Rocky 1976,  PG)
Rocky
Wow, has it been a while since I've done a review. Starting off fresh again, I'm reviewing a classic movie, Rocky. Rocky is cheesy and a little old fashioned, but still a movie that gets you pumped up and excited. One of those movies you gotta see before you die.
Rocky Balboa is a loan shark who boxes as the "Italian Stallion" from time to time locally. He is challenged to a big patriotic fight by the reigning champ, Apollo Creed, because his name resembles Christopher Columbus, an Italian who founded our country. So he trains with his gruff elderly trainer Mick and his drunk friend Pauly hours and hours. This training session results in awesome background music. A big backstory in the movie as Rocky's relationship with Pauly's sister Adrian, which is a kind of awkward yet kinda sweet later on towards the end. I'm not spoiling the ending, either, I'll just say it's unexpected.
Rocky is exciting from beginning to end. It tells the story of a man who doesn't give up thick and thin. It's also not a big cliché in the end where the main character ALWAYS wins. Stallone isn't the best actor in the world, but portrays Rocky in a way I like. He's good at times, bad at times. Carl Weathers is probably the most decent in the movie, he's got a fast talking arrogant black guy stereotype that's kinda entertaining. The movie has its tiny flaws, but still a great classic movie.
12
Rango 2011,  PG)
Rango
Rango is a...different kind of movie. I'm not particularly sure if it is good or bad, because Rango is just plain okay. It's a dry-like movie, which is strange enough for kids, but this movie just felt different, like it was a definitely strange and off color movie. It's an ugly, colorless movie that when you see it, you instantly don't think happy thoughts.
The plot is very hard to follow, but once followed the plot is very original. Rango is a chameleon who finds himself lost in the ghost town of Dirt, a town that desperately is need of water. Rango lies to the town citizens and pictures himself as a brave hero, as they all believe him marvel. He promises to get back the water, but the fear of a foe named Rattlesnake Jake gets in the way of things. Rango in the meantime has an on and off love with this weird chick named Beans. Yeah, a "weird chick".
Rango seems not like it's intended for kids, based on its dry humor. The film is ugly and colorless in all sorts of ways. The biggest is the simply awful design of the characters. They look like actual animals, but are displayed as a living nightmare. The town of Dirt is in a desert like drought, so of course the land isn't too pretty. Just plain old ground. Rango is one of those films that is plain strange. It's a kids movie that almost seems targeted for adults, that has an ugly look to it, and has very dry humor. It's just plain alright.
13
Batman & Robin 1997,  PG-13)
Batman & Robin
This is without a doubt THE one bad, even horrible, Batman film. Never thought that would happen? It did in 1997, in a world where Arnold Schwarzenegger makes terrible ice related puns and Robin is a whiney little jerk....let's dig deep into Batman and Robin.
So Batman and Robin is one of those movies that has a terrible, horrible plotline that can easily be considered almost not a plotline. Batman (George Clooney ._.) and Robin (Chris O' Donnell) are having friendship difficulties because Robin whines about how he never gets any credit. Robin acts like a whiney little kid throughout the whole movie, and it easily gets tiresome. But speaking of tiresome, we meet one of our two villains- Mr. Freeze played by....oh, god. Arnold Schwarzenegger. And Arnold's at his worst today because when he talks about ice, he makes ice joke after ice joke, and they're never funny. "What killed the dinosaurs? The ICE age!" "Let's kick some ICEEEEEE!"
So Mr. Freeze's wife died and he stored her body in a frozen chamber. Our second annoying villain, Poison Ivy, says that Batman pulled the plug on Freeze's wife's life support chamber when Ivy actually did, so now Freeze and Ivy can work to kill Batman. So the rest is just dumb fake fighting sequences. There's also a small plotline that Alfred is deathly ill and that his niece, Barbara, is coming from England to take care of him. She eventually becomes Batgirl, and then just helps with the fighting. So, uh, I'm not giving the dumb happy ending, so I guess that's it. Batman and Robin for ya.
Batman and Robin almost acts like a comedy, and when you think Batman you think anything but a comedy. Mr. Freeze acts overly evil and is annoying, Poison Ivy has an ability to knock foes out by blowing them beautifully scented kisses, Barbara's English accent is very hidden (Alicia Silverstone for ya, alright), and it's just a terrible, terrible film that never tries at all. For hardcore Batman film fans, I'd suggest it but for others I'd suggest just avoiding this piece of crap.
14
The Rugrats Movie 1998,  G)
The Rugrats Movie
Well, I saw The Rugrats Movie. I have never liked Rugrats, so you should expect what's next. The Rugrats are not entertaining and not funny. And to think they got their own film? That's just crazy.
Alright, let's rip into this stinker. If you haven't seen the show, there's a few different characters. Tommy's the overall leader, Chuckie is a nervous wreck, Phil and Lil are the average twins, Angelica's a sassy brat, and there's a new character: Dil, who has just been born in the first few minutes of the film. Tommy thought he'd be happy to have a little brother, but Dil is annoying and stealing the love of Tommy's parents. One day, Tommy and his pals run off in a "Reptar" cart and go missing in the woods. The kids' parents go to ridiculously extreme measures to find their kids, but I wouldn't blame them. The kids pretty much just have "funny" antics in the woods while being chased by monkeys. Tommy also becomes a little more of a parent in this film because his dad handed him down a locket representing responsibility for Dil. There's also this dumb subplot about a news reporter who will do anything and everything to get the truth, voiced by Tim Curry. As much as this is a good role for Curry to play, it is a rather unnecessary character to have in the film. Since this is a kids movie, you can probably tell what the ending is like.
Well, that was it. The film was short and a little predictable, but it's a kids movie, so you can't blame it for its tiny flaws. It still isn't funny, as it uses mispronunciation of words and cuteness to be funny. We've all learned how annoying this is from The Family Circus strips. Otherwise, it's a plain "okay" movie. It's not particularly funny, but I can see how kids might enjoy it. Coming from an aspiring critic, I didn't exactly enjoy it but it is good enough to handle and it pulled through. Much better than I expected. But the other two films suck.
15
Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat 2003,  PG)
Dr. Seuss - The Cat in the Hat
The Cat in the Hat was just a simple attempt at recreating How the Grinch Stole Christmas' success- a simple attempt that went wrong. VERY wrong. This is definitely one of the strangest films I've reviewed yet.
The film follows a pair of siblings, Conrad and Sally, two terrible child actors, I must add. They have to put up with their mom always going to work and her annoying boyfriend Larry. The film gets worse and worse whenever Mike Myers, in one of the most scariest and terrible costumes ever, tries to spread fun to the kids, with scenes so absurd and strange that it feels more like the writers were high when writing this wretched script. The script just doesn't make any sense, with scary Things, a talking fish, a constant boss who yells "FIRED" too much, and- well, Mike Myers overall.
The movie doesn't have much of a plot other than that The Cat spreads "fun" and that nobody can see him. If I were in this movie, I wouldn't want to be seen either. Alec Baldwin is pretty bad in this movie, too. His character is just as silly and obnoxious as Myers'. It's a film complete with silly humor, even a few adult jokes that don't work their way into the movie very well. It's a sheer embarassment to the actors that starred in this awful film.
16
Iron Man 3 2013,  PG-13)
Iron Man 3
Each Iron Man is just as good as the other, but this one was a little long and dragged out, as well as confusing.
The film starts out with a terrible 90s song we'd all like to forget: Blue, so who knows how this might go? This movie focuses on the war on terror and a terrorist known as The Mandarin, who hijacks into televisions and warns the president about upcoming attacks he has planned. Our other antagonist, Aldrich Killian, has an organization that turns people into fiery mutants. This part is a little hard to follow and isn't explained very well. Don Cheadle's army character is now known as Iron Patriot as Tony is blasted by The Mandarin's henchmen and is blasted into a cold town in Tennessee. There, he meets a kid that isn't really important to the story. Another subplot that isn't needed is that Tony suffers anxiety attacks a few times in the film. As the plot gets harder and harder to follow, it pretty much just follows on Aldrich turning people into mutants, Rhodes and Stark fighting them off, and saving the president from terrorist attacks. It's a strange yet action filled story, but it works in its own special way.
As much as I like Iron Man, this was like the second one and didn't own up to the first one. It was definitely better than the second, which seemed amateur, but like I said this was a very strange story to have in a superhero film. It works, but just barely. Let's just hope that as the sequels go on, the films get better.
17
Cop and a Half 1993,  PG)
Cop and a Half
Cop and a Half is one of those heartwarming, cute family comedies that ends up as a train-wreck. Burt Reynolds isn't too bad, but little Webster here is far from stardom. But anyway, let's get to review this stinker.
The film follows a young kid named Devon who is practically obsessed with being a cop. So much that the kid watches Miami Vice every night. He witnesses a ridiculously stereotypical mob gang (led by a singing bimbo and his two bumbling cohorts, this has GOT to be old by now) and alerts the police, led by the gruff and tough Nick McKenna. Devon refuses to tell any information unless he goes around with Nick and be his cop partner of some sort. For the next hour, you'll see Webster pretend to be a cop, with moms and grandmas laughing at how cute Macaulay, Jr is! Anyway, the kid is being targeted by the mob after they learn he was a witness. To be protected, Devon bothers Nick even more by staying at his apartment. This phase really shows how desperate Reynolds was. And the whole movie does- shall I even go on?
I mean, really. This thing was directed by Henry Winkler, so you know that Henry Winkler being Henry Winkler, this will be a light hearted family film. And usually family films in the 90s with cute kids usually turn out crappy. It feels like a kid wrote it and it's targeted for kids who want to be cops. I mean, really, you know it's not gonna be great when Devon has the "K9" poster in his room. Yeah, that Jim Belushi movie that proved a dog is a better actor than Belushi. The film's chemistry doesn't go well, and it also feels too short and obvious.
18
Hot Rod 2007,  PG-13)
Hot Rod
A few of my friends told me to see and review this little film created by The Lonely Island called Hot Rod. It's a weird movie that doesn't have much to work with. It also has a predictable plot from beginning to end.
Rod Kimble is following his deceased father's footsteps to become a stuntman, but his step-father Frank is dying and needs a new heart transplant. Rod only wants to save him so he could get respect from Frank by fighting him, so he and his weirdo friends try to raise money using Rod's stuntman antics. Along the way, Rod meets a girl named Denise who he has a crush on, played by Isla Fisher. How did they get her to do this?
So the movie's predictable from there. It's a silly, stupid movie. A few chuckles here and there, but it's a Napoleon Dynamite-esque film that isn't at all great. The cast is consisted of SNL cast members and B-list comedians, and that's it. Like I said, a few chuckles at some parts but mostly a dumb film.
19
Bio-Dome 1996,  PG-13)
Bio-Dome
Now I have a lot more time to review movies due to summer, and why not start with one of the worst films I've ever seen: Bio-Dome? It has untalented actors, a predictable plot, and a wretched, awful sense of humor that isn't even slapstick, but like...Beavis and Butthead-like humor.
It follows two idiot friends, Bud "Squirrel" Macintosh and Doyle Johnson. You know the film will be awful when Pauly Shore is in it already, but add in Baldwin and you make a recipe for disaster. The two hit each other with books and sit around, munching on snacks and being lazy. After they believe their girlfriends have had sex with their hippie buddies, Squirrel and Doyle go off to find them but accidentally stumble into the Bio-Dome, a place where 5 scientists conduct experiments and trap themselves in the dome for a year. Squirrel and Doyle once again do idiotic things until they bust out...and do more idiotic things. The plot clearly isn't much.
Like I just said, there's barely any plot, rather just an excuse for a lame buddy comedy targeted for stoners. This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and I know I can't be the only one. Why is it so dumb? Why did people even think it was funny? Why did Stephen Baldwin EVER get into acting? It's like a dumber version of Bill and Ted, only it's more '90s than '80s. Believe me, it's 90s enough. The fashion, the constant grunge music, just the vibe feels like it's too 1990s. The whole film is annoying, has barely any plot, and is one of the dumbest comedies ever made.
20
Inspector Gadget 1999,  PG)
Inspector Gadget
Inspector Gadget is one film that is not awful, but has many flaws. Being a big fan of the Nostalgia Critic, I agree completely on his opinions with the film.
Based on the 1980s cartoon, Officer John Brown is a man who has surgery done on him, and thus, is now full of wacky useless things nobody really needs, like bubble wands for fingers. He soon becomes a town hero, aka "Inspector Gadget". The film just has him stopping Sanford Scolex, aka Dr. Claw. As usual, Dr. Claw plans on ruling the world and making a name for himself, so Gadget just stops him. Not much more, it's basically just that.
Like said, the film isn't awful but is far from good. Not the least bit good, really. The characters fall flat, and the film wants to capture the cartoon essence by gathering wacky cartoon sound effects here and there. It's unneeded, and is just plain dumb. Like always, Broderick's performance is bland and Everett is never that great in any movie, really. He always picks the dumb movies to star in, it seems. There's no parts that are particularly funny, and the parts that are meant to be funny are just annoying, like Gadget's talking car or the cliched idiotic henchmen of Claw. It can please some younger children, but when it comes to the adults it's a surefire annoyance.
21
Junior 1994,  PG-13)
Junior
A film that is in no way intriguing or funny, very boring. The producers had a lot to work with in this plotline but it didn't add up in the least.
Our favorite terrible actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, is Dr. Alexander Hess, a scientist who is used as a guinea pig in an experiment to see if men can get pregnant. Thus, he acts like a lady: buys baby clothes, gets cravings, even has to DRESS as a lady in one scene. As ridiculous as this sounds...well, it is...it's actually a boring movie. There's a bunch of scientist babble here and there, and even Arnold's Twins costar Danny DeVito can pull out around 2 laughs from the audience.
Like said, it's way too boring. It doesn't seem like a comedy, other than the ridiculous story. That's really all that sounds intriguing: Arnold's pregnant. It's pretty unpleasing for the sad saps who went to see this stinker in theaters, isn't it? I found it odd that one of my favorite critics, Roger Ebert, liked this movie. It's definitely not awful, but it doesn't add up in the end. The film pulls in a few chuckles, and that's it. Just amateur.
22
Richie Rich 1994,  PG)
Richie Rich
Richie Rich is a bland, tasteless film that was made when Macaulay Culkin was growing up, and it's obviously showing, as his voice is deeper and his acting is...uh...worse. The whole film is not entertaining at all.
Richie Rich is the son of Richard and Regina Rich, and is the wealthiest kid in the world. However, this means he's envied by the poor kids in town, until he takes them in and has fun with them. The film doesn't get any more entertaining when our antagonist, played by John Larroquette, enters the film, attempting to kidnap the Richs and steal all of their money. The movie is pretty much just that. They don't have much at all to work with.
Macaulay seems unamused with the film, based on his amateur performance. The film isn't very funny or entertaining because kids don't like enterpreneurs or rich people...they like superheroes, animation...kid stuff! Obviously, it won't appeal to them and it wasn't such a successful film. The only characters I liked was Richie's English butler Cadbury, whose performance was entertaining, and John Larroquette, whose past antagonist roles are exactly the same as this. Oh, and that fat guy from Who's Line Is It Anyway plays a wacky scientist. Hurrah.
23
Drop Dead Fred 1991,  PG-13)
Drop Dead Fred
One of the most odd films ever made.
Elizabeth Cronin goes back to her hometown and re-meets with her imaginary friend from childhood, Drop Dead Fred. Fred, annoying as hell and not the least bit funny, annoys her everywhere she goes until the point where everyone she knows finds her insane. It's one of the most odd plots I've ever seen.
This film tries to offensive and not the least bit charming. Fred is a disturbing character who simply annoys us to the nitty gritty that we cannot even finish the film. I can't stand the character of Elizabeth, who even as a child was a foulmouthed brat...not much has changed. The plot is unbearable, the characters are unlikable and the comedy....it sucks. It's awful. Not one scene made me laugh. Period.
24
Man of Steel 2013,  PG-13)
Man of Steel
Man of Steel is a good movie, but has its flaws. It has a lot of flaws to begin with, and it tries to make itself look too much like Batman or any Marvel film. It's like any other superhero film ever made, but nonetheless, let's get reviewing.
Basically, the story of Superman's childhood is told. Most of you know it already, so...not getting into that. He grows up on a farm, has unexplainably odd moments from here and there, etc. Every so often, flashbacks are told, which is unneeded. It's not essential to the plot in any way, either. The plot is a little hard to explain, but basically Superman and Lois Lane (whose character is hard to like) are being targeted by General Zod, our overly excessive antagonist who REALLY wants to show he's an antagonist. He threatens America by wrecking havoc on New York, and Superman must defeat him in this overly long 2 and a half hour film. Like said, the plot is not easy to follow.
The film is ok, thus getting a three star rating. The battles between Zod and Superman are very dragged out, as well as the movie. I never have wanted to have a superhero movie finished so quickly. Superman is not very likable, and neither is Lois Lane. Zod, like said, tries too much to prove he's an antagonist. There's also this British girl, Zod's right hand henchman or whatever, who is EXTREMELY unlikable. Half of the time, she just smirks. There's very little humor or excitement in the film, and that's why it's a plain 3 star rating. I suggest, along with every other Superman film, that you skip this one.
25
Monsters University 2013,  G)
Monsters University
Knowing that the reviews for this film are average, I didn't know what I was going to get. People say that Pixar is going downhill, but after seeing Monsters U, I think it's just getting better. Sure, this film has flaws and its predecessor is a lot better, but this film brought a few smiles to me.
Mike and Sulley's journeys at Monsters University is the plot of this Monsters, Inc prequel, and the film mainly focuses on fraternities. Mike and Sulley, after causing trouble in an exam, are dropped out of the scare program, join a less than perfect fraternity, Oozma Kappa, and compete in the Scare Games, competing with jocks, to get back into the scare program.
The film was a lot better than people say it is, and it fits as a prequel to Monsters Inc well. The film isn't particularly funny, but the characters are so colorful and the plotline is so intriguing that it's hard not to like. It opens up a whole new universe in the Monsters Inc franchise. This is one Pixar film, or any animated film, that you can't miss out on.
26
World War Z 2013,  PG-13)
World War Z
Back from a long Flixster vacation, I'm back with a film I actually saw weeks ago, World War Z. World War Z is a good movie that actually can make you jump at times and feel entertained, but it's far from perfect. It's definitely an eye candy movie filled with unneeded CGI. Brad Pitt is Gerry, not Jerry, but...Gerry. He's a former soldier who is recruited to help kill zombies when they have taken over. It's an overall entertaining film, but...yeah, lots of flaws. For instance, there isn't that big of a plot, it's just Pitt killing zombies. For two, Pitt is good in it but some of the other characters are annoying and unlikable, for example, his kids, who just whine and be scared. But forget that, this film is a nail biting action thriller that entertained me all the way through. The ending has a unique twist than other zombie films. However, don't say this film is perfect. It has its flaws, but still kept me on the edge of my seat.
27
Chairman of the Board 1997,  PG-13)
Chairman of the Board
Carrot Top is an unfunny comedian. Period. He made an unfunny movie, with unfunny jokes and unfunny characters. If you couldn't tell, Chairman of the Board is far from funny.
Carrot Top plays a young inventor named Edison, who, after surfing with an elderly billionaire once, has inherited the fortune and the billionaire's company after he shortly dies. So now, the wacky Edison is now in charge of a big company. There could be lots of possibilities for jokes here, but there aren't. A lot of surfing and luaus to cover scenes up.
The film is not entertaining and not funny. Larry Miller is good in anything he plays, as he liked him in Max Keeble as well (another failing film), but the cast is so unlikable, the characters are unlikable...everything is wrong. The jokes are mainly puns and the ones that aren't don't work in well. This film is obviously showing it's from the late 90s as surf music roars, cheesy underground camerawork is shown in an attempt to look good...that's all I can say. At least Carrot Top isn't like Pauly Shore who made a million bad films, but this one so bad it can sum up to 50 bad films.
28
Rocky II 1979,  PG)
Rocky II
Rocky II is just as good and attention grabbing (not to mention cheesy) as the first, but its story is far from unique. I like the subplots mixed in, and that caught my attention and kept me entertained. Any Rocky film is far from perfect.
Rocky is back as he's married to Adrian, bought a house with Adrian, and has even had a baby boy with Adrian. Our previous antagonist Apollo Creed has been receiving negative reception from Rocky's fan that he cheated when he won in the previous film, so the way to settle this is to have a rematch. Like any Rocky film, it's jam packed with training montages and late 70s intensity music. Not giving away the ending, but it's pretty obvious from the beginning.
Like I said, not much to say about a Rocky film because mainly they're just like the others...well, until we got to Rocky IV and V, but that's another review to type up. The films are intense and nail biting, but we all know Stallone isn't the best actor and there's sure to be some cheesy laughable moments in there, too.
29
Reefer Madness (Tell Your Children) (Doped Youth) 2010,  PG)
Reefer Madness (Tell Your Children) (Doped Youth)
A classic piece of shit, I saw this old propaganda film on Nostalgia Critic, and I agree with him when he says this film is so overly propaganda that it's laughable. Although the message of the film is agreeable and good, the affects of marijuana definitely seem overexaggerated. The film's 1930s like behavior and world is just so funny to watch.
The film doesn't have much of a story. Basically a bunch of 30s teenagers who get exposed to drugs by gangsters, get high and then do all of these crazy things like playing the piano really fast and killing your friends. It's hilarious to watch, and I actually find the scenes before everyone gets high funnier because the character of Bill is such a wuss, he refuses to drink soda and tells stories about his mom's cooking. It's an awful propaganda film that is so overexaggerated that it makes things like Cindy Goes to a Party look like a gangster film.
30
Good Burger 1997,  PG)
Good Burger
A few years ago, when I was around 11, I did a review on Flixster for a kids film called Good Burger. I liked the show All That back then, which was the original spinoff of this film. Now I look at my wretched review and say to myself...why did I ever like this? It's an awful piece of crap that is in no way funny, maybe to kids, but now I'm a teenager and comedy tastes have changed.
It follows an idiotic fast food cashier named Ed. Another kid named Dexter needs a summer job after he crashes into his teacher's car, so now he's working at Good Burger with Ed. The two try to foil the suspecious plots of the new fast food restaurant across the street, Mondo Burger. The rest is just Ed and Dexter doing dumb crap only kids will laugh at. The rest is hell for adults.
31
Mr. Magoo 1997,  PG)
Mr. Magoo
In the late 90s, Leslie Neilsen had some awful films he was in, like Spy Hard and this wretched comedy. Disney had the same. Their live action films were awful, such as The Big Green and Meet the Deedles. But maybe the worst Neilsen and Disney comedy was the one and only Mr. Magoo.
Mr. Magoo, a classic cartoon about a blind elderly man, was never really funny to me or anybody I know. The one joke was all it was centered on and the formula for this joke, which wouldn't be funny in any cartoon, didn't work well. The film doesn't work any better, as Neilsen plays Magoo, a canned vegetable entrepreneur, who stops some bumbling jewel thieves along with his nephew Waldo. The film's jokes are so cheesy and old that it's near impossible to laugh. Magoo goes in several disguises in one scene and none of them are funny. The whole movie is a disgrace to the world of cinema, and that's all I can say.
32
Turbo 2013,  PG)
Turbo
I expected so much more from Dreamworks. I'm not saying they're a great animation company, but they're good enough to be #2 next to Pixar. This movie just felt like there were so many flaws that it was hard to like.
The story is very generic and almost too simple: a snail who has a passion for racing wants to be in the Indy 500. His body gets filled with nitro oxide and he suddenly becomes fast, acts like a car, gets into the Indy 500...it's predictable. Since it's a cliched kids film, of course Turbo wins. But that's not all. Turbo, whose real name is Theo, also has an especially unneeded cast of familiar voices: Samuel L. Jackson, Snoop Dogg, Maya Rudolph...these characters are just there to be there, they have no reason to actually be there, and they're not essential to the story.
The movie has tons of flaws, it's a movie you really want to like but it's just...no. You can't. For instance, some of the characters are unneeded, like said, especially this stereotypical Mexican guy who is Turbo's trainer. He's just there because...who knows. There wasn't one joke I laughed at. Nobody else laughed either. The jokes are just too silly. I don't know what to say that's wrong about it, because, hey, there are things to praise. For instance, Turbo didn't JUST win, he had struggles to win. I'm not spoiling it, but he almost doesn't win.
So, in short, the film is flawed and it's very amateur. I expected much more from Dreamworks. If you want your kids entertained, it's sure to entertain them. For adults and teens? It's a no.
33
The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure 2012,  G)
The Oogieloves in The Big Balloon Adventure
Well, I did it. I saw The Oogieloves in the Big Balloon Adventure, and it was just as bad as I thought it would be. It's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I don't know what morons would ever think this would make money or be a critical or theatrical success. It just sucks, plain and simple.
The plot is just as awful: A talking pillow is celebrating its birthday and a talking vacuum named J. Edgar is meant to give him (sigh) magic balloons, but loses them, and the balloons spread all across...get this...Lovelyloveville. So these three Oogieloves with names so ridiculously immature that even a 3 year old would find idiotic must go all across the town and find these 5 balloons. Bad songs and dances occur along with some painfully inserted celebrities that obviously are in it for the money, like Christopher Lloyd as a Mexican bongo player and Chazz Palminteri as a milkshake shop owner. It's just painful.
The film's budget was nearly $40 million and it only got $1 million back. This film seems like it's trying to be bad, it's filled with cheesy jokes and bad songs...it's just a god awful film. Kids will hate it and so will adults. Terrible for the whole family. An abomination to cinema.
34
Ghost Dad 1990,  PG)
Ghost Dad
I saw Ghost Dad and expected a ridiculous cheesy Cosby flick like Leonard Part 6, but actually wasn't that bad. It wasn't great, but, really, anything with Cosby in it is a treat to watch.
Cosby plays a workholic who, when with a reckless driver, drowns in a taxi. He dies, but he is a ghost and he can talk and be seen only in darkness. The rest from there is seen of Cosby not getting along with his kids, which really isn't needed, but who cares. Cosby does ghost things, and that's kinda entertaining. The whole time I watched it, I was indeed entertained.
The film does have some flaws, but like said...it's entertaining. It's hard to not like anything Cosby does (well, except for Leonard, Part 6). That's pretty much all. It's a ok film with some flaws in between but I actually enjoyed it.

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