It's Newest To Me: Films I've Seen in 2012

"Men declare wars, men make peace. All we do is wait around and keep quiet. That's why we go crazy. They just don't realize..."

Seemingly personal film from Regis Wargnier that leaves the audience in the cold about the characters and also bites off too much in attempting a time-and-globe-spanning drama that shifts from Berlin, Paris, Damascus, Indochina, Nancy, and Algeria across 1939 to the 1950's in just 90+ minutes. We don't learn much of anything about this particular French woman Jeanne (Emmanuelle Beart) except that she is powerless to control her rampaging cooch each time her husband Louis (Daniel Auteuil) is dispatched by the military to another part of the globe. I mean, she doesn't even try!

The production design for a war-torn 1944 Berlin, although limited in screen presentation, is quite spectacular, and the ravishing Beart gives mostly a very good performance - it's easy to see why so many men fell at Jeanne's feet as she's the most gorgeous creature on the planet. She has a memorably spirited dance (fueled by the liquid kind of spirits) in a red dress that reminded me of Anita Ekberg in La Dolce Vita. Auteuil could have been replaced by a statue for most of the first half but finally comes alive once the family divide becomes too wide to ignore. Watchable but unremarkable drama beyond Beart's beauty.

'Perverse' best describes this family vacation spoiled by the most well-mannered home invaders ever to wear white shorts. The film opens with an affluent father, mother & son driving towards their summer cottage on the lake and playing a guessing game with the opera pieces on the stereo. We are soothed by beautiful voices which are suddenly interrupted once the opening titles are rolled by a horrible screaming over discordant death-rock rattles, a brilliant foreshadowing of how the idyllic will later be shattered by chaos.

This isn't your typical horror film: director Michael Haneke intends to test the audience's willing participation as an observer and uses our expectations against us. Most of the violence takes place offscreen, but the emotional toll is greater than any ten slasher films. One of the assailants even talks directly to the camera several times, at one point suggesting they prolong the agony of their captives to "pad the running time" so we "get our money's worth." Audacious, to say the least! Open acknowledgment that the actors *are* actors, the whole movie is just A MOVIE, and we are the ones inflicting psychological torture on ourselves by choosing to watch. The coup de gras involves a remote control, a complete barefaced manipulative cheat that works to perfection. This is not a movie you will actively enjoy but will push you into contemplating your twisted inner desire for 'entertainment' and the very nature of the filmgoing experience for days afterwards.

***MINOR SPOILER ALERT***

After having previously seen Cache, Haneke's proclivity for long takes is clear, but I really question the sequence following the first shooting. The film loses all steam while they try to pull themselves together. I suspect he is testing our patience as an audience that has witnessed a thousand movie murders with our collective reaction of "Get on with it!" by trying to force us to deal with the enormity of the act and callousness within ourselves, but that would've been accomplished in a third of the time.

Laughable jungle nonsense. Or is it savannah nonsense? Hard to tell the way these warrior women jetset between rainforest and Serengheti locations. Hey Franco, here's a hint: Amazons are supposed to live along the Amazon, not cavort with lion cubs on the African plains.

Actually released in 1986, not 2005. Opening shot sets the tone with ten women riding topless in slow-motion before our main event Liana (Joan Virly) takes the stage. She's attractive but has the worst sense of danger for someone who grew up in the wild for 16 years, getting captured by surprise FOUR times! Lots of other laughs too: the zipline that substitutes for vine-swinging, the missionary whose idea of an introduction is to tell Liana her parents were murdered, the bendable arrows, malevolent cave gas, rampant bad acting, and the pathetic "Go away or else!" ending. Things that will get on your nerves include Kuku the incredibly annoying pessimistic chanting shaman, two pieces of unimaginative music alternating as a soundtrack, and long-distance action shots. One reason to choose this over any other similar silly adventure is Lina Romay's impromptu skinny dip followed by an inexplicable nude walkabout, but no-one's complaining.

Best line comes from Liana, covered in pelts and furs: "All the animals are my friends." Um, except the ones she's wearing, obviously.

Heavy-handed, obvious direction telegraphs where this is headed, and not helped by some serious over-acting, personified by Forrest Whitaker of all people as the nebbish who turns mad with power. Only stuck around to see how it ended - with an anticlimactic whimper. The original has got to be 10x better than this clumsy stab at drama. Adrien Brody takes a real beating, and not just his career.

Yet another pastiche of mostly unhappy and boring New Yorkers and how their lives change over the course of a day. Amy Fox could use a spark of creativity in her screenplay to distinguish hers from the glut of similar films. (I knew an Amy Fox in college, could she be the same? I hope not ) Some good performances from Glenn Close and something of a revelation from Elizabeth Banks, but for what?

Another overlong Tarantino opus, most similar to Jackie Brown in terms of feel and pacing while stringing together a series of slow burns (and one big burn!) Just like in Jackie, the character interactions make the journey worthwhile with several engaging scenes, but he stretches out too many. Best sequences are the opening "friendly interrogation" of the French peasant, the rendezvous in the basement bar, and the encounter in the theater foyer before the premiere of National Pride with each leaking a increasing amount of fuel that could ignite at any instant. "Bonjorno!"

Christoph Waltz is fantastic as a memorably odious Col. Landa whose outwardly jovial demeanor masks a ruthless monster who delights in causing discomfort through pointed observations and veiled threats. Diane Kruger also stands out as double agent German actress Bridget Von Hammersmark. Brad Pitt gets to chew over another goofy accent but doesn't venture beyond the single-mindedness of Aldo Raine's mission: to kill as many Nazis as he can find.

Interesting to watch how Tarantino turns a pulp story into cinema - I don't see anyone else getting away with junking the history books and still having his film taken seriously, the seven Oscar nominations prove that beyond doubt. Significant trimming would help Inglourious Basterds maintain a vicelike grip, but he's no Hitchcock and doesn't want to be. I also have difficulty accepting Landa's abrupt discard of loyalty at the end - if there had been just one hint of his dissatisfaction placed beforehand, the turn of events would still be surprising and we would've looked back and said, "Oh! He planted that 2 hours ago, what a genius!" Sadly no. But I give the Big Q big thumbs up on these two points:

1) Having most of the dialogue spoken in the native tongue, whether French or German, and using the all-American audience killing subtitles, that took guts and doubtless had to fight the studio long and hard. The results of course are so much more authentic.
2) He's not afraid to kill off main characters and to make the bad guys just as smart or smarter than the good guys.

He also provides a great (and very flinch-inducing) final scene. "You know something, I think this just might be my masterpiece." That seems to be Tarantino's assertion as much as Raine's, although he's expressing it through the character's tongue-in-cheek manner. Afraid not, Mr. T.

I don't think there's a larger gap between Users & Critics. Check that out: 93% vs. 17%! Incredible, and in this case, power is with the people!

Extremely violent, profrane, bloody, and takes an irresponsible delight in its ballet of bullets (with Willem Dafoe even mock conducting to an operatic soundtrack during one shootout) but at the same time wildly entertaining with often hilarious dialogue. Favorite scene: crawling through the air ducts. Sean Patrick Flanery and Norman Reedus make a likable pair of brawlin' brothers intent on ridding their neighborhood, and later the world at large, of bad men following a sermon at their church about the responsibility that good men have to rise up against evil. But the real star of the show is the aforementioned Defoe as FBI hotshot Paul Smecker who is both frustrated at his inability to catch them and admiring of their handiwork. This has got to be one of his best roles, and he plays it to the max. One of the brightest offspring of the Pulp Fiction generation.

I haven't read the book - no surprise there as Civil War lit not my style - so I had no preconceived notions of these characters, and as such this film version paints a vibrant picture of the lives of four sisters growing up in Concord, Massachusetts and beyond. Like all good films based on books, I was inspired to read the Wikipedia entry afterward, and according to what I read not even the dog who walked from Colorado back to his home in Connecticut is as faithful as Gillian Armstrong was to Louisa May Alcott.

Winona Ryder shines as spirited misfit Jo, and what a collection of other future stars: Claire Danes as simple yet sweet Beth, Samantha Mathis as older Amy, Christian Bale (!) does a great turn as family friend Laurie, and a babyfaced 12-year-old Kirsten Dunst showing great promise as younger Amy. Add to that Susan Sarandon, Eric Stoltz (this was made in the '90s so he had to be there), and Gabriel Byrne disarmingly effective as German professor Friedrich, complete opposite of the self-preserving A-hole he played in Miller's Crossing a few years earlier. This, my friends, is an actor.

Outstanding period detail adds to the rich tapestry. Jo is the focal point, but we follow the growth of all the March sisters and how they find their place in a world decades away from taking measures toward granting equality to their gender. This is not at all the schmaltzy sentimental chick flick I was half-expecting but instead filled with endearing characters while springing several surprises along the way. Not quite the masterwork of Ang Lee's Sense & Sensibility but worthy enough to sit at the same table.

Promising start following an agonizingly slow credit crawl but gives an extremely disappointing payoff. (Namely, the 'answer' to the 'question.') I'm getting tired of these Cube-like riddle movies that can't deliver on their premise. The breaking point occurred once they tied the guy to the chair, then the dynamics regrettably shifted from puzzle solving to finger pointing. And much like the beginning, it takes forever to end.

Reading some reviews here I was surprised to learn that not many people had seen the original Tron and even fewer liked it. Apparently it was unlucky enough to have E.T. as competition and thereby unsurprisingly got trounced at the box office, relegating its breakthrough CGI effects into cult status over a decade before the term "CGI" was coined. I saw it sometime during the mid-'80s and enjoyed it quite a lot, and Tron Legacy cleverly manages to function as both an effective sequel AND a remake at the same time.

Tron Legacy opens 7 years after the events of Tron. Technovisionary Kevin Flynn (Jeff Bridges) has founded the altruistic software giant Encom - basically the anti-Microsoft - and promises his son Sam he is on the verge of another breakthrough. The next night he mysteriously disappears without a trace. Fast-forward 20 years later, Sam is the major Encom shareholder but has no interest in the business, but following a cryptic phonecall originating from elder Flynn's now-defunct arcade, Sam goes in search of his father. Following some ill-advised keystrokes, he finds himself assimilated into his father's newest digital creation.

So there's your sequel scenario, much of the rest plays like a rehash of the original. "Reboot" is the popular term filmmakers like to use now, and nowhere more appropriately than applied to Tron Legacy considering its setting. All the cool stuff from Tron is back: the deadly discs, the light cycles, the beam barge, the costumes, hell even the poster! But the quantum leap in effects is so staggering and thrilling that everything that seems familiar looks new once again. It's great to have Jeff Bridges' pre-Dude original hippie back in action as well as Bruce Boxleitner returning as both Alan Bradley, Kevin Flynn's partner, and his digitized alter-ego Tron. Add in Olivia Wilde and some nifty upgrades like the light jets and you've got some grand escapism in store.

Above-average comic book adventure. This opening entry closely follows two mutants, one interesting in Wolverine with Hugh Jackman perfectly cast as far as his appearance, and one uninteresting in Rogue played by a listless Anna Paquin. Some other good casting like the nimble Ray Park as Toad, Patrick Stewart as the optimistic Dr. X, his enemy/friend Ian McKellan as Magneto, and while she doesn't have much screen time Rebecca Romijn opens eyes as Mystique. Other big names like Halle Berry and James Marsden are wasted by not having enough to do.

Mutants find themselves divided over their place in the world which I found interesting and X-Men has an unusually strong story behind the good-vs-evil conflict in that the good & evil agendas are not as clear cut as in, say, Superman or Spider-Man. The movie makes no mistake about who you're supposed to root for, but if you think critically about Magneto's plan, it makes a lot of sense from a mutant's point of view. The relationship between Dr. X & Magneto and their division over the future of their kind creates a very interesting dramatic conflict.

There are some good special effects and action scenes - I liked the fight between Wolverine and Mystique the best - but also some overblown effects, sets, and for a "serious" comic book film the capes and comical costumes have got to go. And too many fights thrive on one mutant punching or throwing the other one 40 feet through the air again and again. And again. The biggest shortcoming remains the poor dialogue with some of the worst one-liners in recent memory, falling within a triangulation of cliche, obvious, or stupid. Not great, but worth a look at the sequel.

Simple story masterfully told, Manon is the sequel to Jean de Florette in which the reclusive daughter of the hunchback who was killed for the water on his land learns the truth and sets a course for revenge. These stories might comprise the best 2-part package in French cinema history; knowing the events of the first is required to understand the motivations in the second, and absolutely essential to experience the shocking revelation to its fullest.

As with Jean de Florette, everything about this production is superlative, from the gorgeous countryside visuals to the rich orchestral soundtrack to the artistic compositional framing to the outstanding acting. Aged Yves Montand gives a towering performance of a character who ranks among the all-time greatest screen villains and pays an ultimate price of regret. Equally memorable is Daniel Auteuil who has never been better as Montand's nephew, bringing to life a pathetic simpleton who is both loathsome and pitiable. Another shining performance comes from the incomparably beautiful Emmanuelle Béart who shot to stardom as Manon the goat shepherdess. She doesn't have many lines in her solitude, instead reflecting her curiosity and distrust through her wondrous eyes, but when she does speak her outbursts carry that much more impact. Perhaps her finest achievement is racing up and down those precarious goat trails without tumbling into the emergency room!

I watched this last night for the first time since sitting in a college theater 20 years ago and could still vividly recall the big revelation scene as it unfolded which again packed an emotional punch as momentous as Darth Vader's at the end of Empire. If I had to choose, I'm inclined to say Jean de Florette is slightly better because of Gerard Depardieu's galvanizing presence, but with Manon des Sources we get Béart and a resonating conclusion to this 2-part masterpiece.

Vinyan details the dreamlike - make that nightmarish - search by a couple living in Thailand for their missing son into the jungles of Burma. Their slow boat journey up remote waterways starts as Apocalypse Now and ends in an encampment of wild children which could be called Lord of the Thais.

As a narrative, Vinyan has little depth. Emmanuelle Béart is stubbornly resolute as Jeanne, convinced her son is still alive, whereas Rufus Sewell as Paul vacillates between supportive husband and grim realist. They argue. They search. They argue. They search. And that's about it, which leaves the intended shocking/surprising ending with no foundation to crumble.

Lots of sights and sounds fill the screen with intent to disorient and not everything happens in reality. Unfortunately, the film doesn't work as a sustained sensory nor experimental experience either. There are a few scattered eye-opening moments, like a mysterious opening title sequence that makes sense later on, a spirit ceremony with large floating lantern balloons, and an incredible dilapidated wood & brick jungle palace.

Most of the time, however, all we are doing is watching Jeanne and Paul slog through mud, rain, overgrowth, and undergrowth. This location shoot must have been very difficult for the actors, after a week's filming I would've been on the phone chewing out my agent, "What have you gotten me into?!??!" I was feeling more sorry for the actors' plight than the characters', which is a sure-fire sign that your movie is not working.

You'd never know Hitchcock was involved if his name wasn't in the credits as this is pretty standard '40s battle of the sexes comedy with a quarreling couple discovering they were never legally married. Slow to start and overstays its welcome, but boosted by an often funny midsection beginning with dinner at the Florida Club. Carole Lombard looks great but her character is too unreasonable to really get behind.

"I'm telling you that cat knows something about this soup!"

Not among Keaton's classics due to a draggy beginning and lack of truly uproarious moments, but his stunts are as incredible as ever including a very dangerous-looking river rapids sequence. As with The General, the guy again displays his fondness for trains with a very primitive 1820's engine getting some sizable screen time.

"Aw, you can't rape me - I like sex."

Ridiculous to the extreme as a pitiful band of revolutionaries attempt to liberate a women's work camp which goes so horribly wrong it makes The Great Escape look like a resounding success. As for the women, no matter your type there's someone for you - uglies, beauties, black, white, Filipino, sassy chicks, crazy chicks, short chicks, a giantess, brunettes, and a blonde. (No fatties though, it's a labor camp after all.) My favorite was the sex-starved blonde who would't mind doing the time as long as she could get her freak on now and then - unfortunately for her all the guards are gay! Goofy thing is I can't identify her, the closing credits list character names but I'm sure over half of them aren't mentioned during the actual movie because apparently that would just confuse matters.

I can pick out statuesque Anitra Ford as she has the most screen time as a model who is notorious for bedding around with government officials, and deliverer of the quote that opens this review. Disappointed Pam Grier is only in the movie quarter of the time despite top billing, but she makes the most of it. Sid Haig has fun as Django who goes queer eye for the revolutionary guy in order to infiltrate the camp. Top honors go to the warden for shouting every single line he's given in the way that every warden should in an exploitation flick, and naturally his best line is "I AM NOT AGITATED!!!!" And what better way to make your introduction as the meanest of the mean than by kicking a puppy? (Offscreen, don't worry!)

If knife fights, shower scenes, skimpy clothes, campy acting, mud wrestling, choppy editing, attack dogs, patchy plotting, horny inmates, jive talking, and sugar cane fields are your idea of a good time, then you'll be sweet on The Big Bird Cage.

Promising start fails to live up to even the low stature of the Species name. Lots of dead space and finally when there's some action, it happens in the dark which we humans without alien DNA cannot see. Three noteworthy factors though:

1) Helena Mattson is absolutely stunning as the new alien hybid, reminds me of a round-faced Nicole Kidman. She can't completely cover her Swedish accent but her acting is at least as good as the other Species stars, and that includes Natasha Henstridge in what was her first role. I've seen lesser talent on much plainer figures go far so here's hoping Helena can catch some breaks of her own.

2) Dominic Keating plays a genius geneticist with low moral fiber, a scoundrelly role that easily could be cliche but he instead creates a character who occasionally wavers in his cocky self-assurance and is even borderline likable at times.

3) Impressive makeup effects, I feel sorry for the actors who had to sit for hours in the chair each time they suited up in the full alien regalia!

If you ever get an unquenchable thirst for revenge, there's a Korean guy who will tell you that it's not always such a good idea as some questions are best left unanswered.

A man is kidnapped and held for 15 years in a secured hotel room without any clue as to why, then he is released with no explanation and has one week to find some answers before the anonymous kidnapper kills himself. This film's storytelling method is probably my favorite of all, we are as lost as the main character and must figure out the mystery concurrently. Fantastic directorial touches embellish this unpredictable, violent, and occasionally darkly humorous journey. Over-the-top in places but inescapably engrossing with a doozy of a revelation, there are few films that pack a suckerpunch as potent as Oldboy.

Quite a letdown, I was expecting a tongue-in-cheek actioner and got exactly that - but with limp jokes, awful one-liners, unsurprising surprises, and a stupid story that makes Salt look plausible. This is the kind of big dumb Hollywood movie that gives big dumb Hollywood movies their deservedly wretched reputation. What a waste of a great cast, the extra half-star is solely for getting the chance to see Helen Mirren go apeshit behind the trigger of a machine gun.

Lean and mean caper flick with some arresting use of light & shadow by Master Kubrick. Uses a cut & paste shifting timeline which was unique for the era, in fact a technique about 40 years ahead of its time before every other director seemed to employ it, although I'm not sure it was wholly necessary. As the events unfold and cracks in the plan begin to show, I found it interesting that I was hoping these crooks would pull it off! We get shown pieces of the lives of the participants, and not all are as criminally inclined as ex-con Sterling Hayden the ringleader.

Two factors work against The Killing: an inane, melodramatic voiceover that should have been replaced by simple text on the screen, when needed at all. Second, Elisha Cook in a key role as a racetrack cashier accomplice is just terrible, giving awkward line readings (plus twice flubbing during lengthy takes) and showing fear and doubt like he's in a silent movie from the 1920s.

Does not reach Kubrick's exclusive top tier but still an excellent, influential movie with a memorable conclusion.

Excellent, completely unexpected twist in this French romance-thriller with the plucky Audrey Tautou in one of her first starring roles following Amelie, a casting choice which the film I believe cognizantly used to take clever advantage of our expectations. The less you know beforehand the better - for one thing, DO NOT watch the misleading trailer! - and those who enjoy it the most will have paid attention during the first half.

One thing can be said for Possessed by the Night: it's awful. Wait, wait, I mean one GOOD thing, you don't usually find a Skinemax plot device this weird. A writer buys some horrific blob of tissue in a jar which can best be described as "a brain with an eye" from an overacting Chinese guy's curiosity shop for no reason other than "I just felt like buying something." I think we found the world's worst possessor of bad taste if he thought this thing would enliven the ambiance. But hold on, this hideous blob in a jar is no ORDINARY hideous blob in a jar - it can control your mind! Baser urges are intensified, people are driven to commit acts of violence and crave sex - sometimes both - with whoever happens to be nearby.

You probably know this is a Shannon Tweed movie, so you're really wondering, "How much does she get naked?" As an added insult to the dumb story and laughable acting, her required clothes-shedding time is very limited. Her three scenes are good but all regrettably short. There is a quality bonus scene of her working out in a tiny clingy crop-top, which I cannot decide is a result of the blob's influence on her mind or the writer's inability to find a rational way to show a sweaty Shannon and he just said, "Screw it, just get on the Bowflex."

Tweed has appeared in many movies with much better stories, performances, and titillation, so leave this one until you've run through the rest.

Your eyes do not deceive you - that is THE Jonathan Demme with the director's credit for this Roger Corman exploitation and one of the most influential of the WIP (women in prison) subgenre. And you know what, it ain't half bad!

Don't get me wrong, nobody would mistake this for high quality cinema, but what it does it does well. Lead actress Erica Gavin as the new jailbait is plain and frankly rather boring, but thankfully the supporting characters have a lot of life like cutie Roberta Collins who steals food out of the employee break room to feed those in solitary and Juanita Brown as the fiery & foul-mouthed ruler of the cell block. Barbara Steele is really great as the wheelchair-bound superintendent McQueen who lives a repressed lifestyle and feels torn between her genuine desire to rehabilitate her charges and punish them for insubordination which she takes as a personal affront.

There are four, count 'em, FOUR shower scenes mixed in among the catfights, corrective discipline, and rebellions leading up to the big showdown. Dust off your 8-track and pull out your polyester and bell-bottoms!

Stop reading reviews and just see it already, you'll thank me for that advice.

****SPOILER ALERT****

Yes it's a great film, one of Hitch's best, and I think the staircase murder is just as potent, or moreso, than the shower scene. However I'm gonna say it - the clearly female voice coming from the house that is overheard is a cheat. If it was only in Norman's mind, I could let it slide, instead I have to call him on it.

"Sooner or later, the day will come when you can't hide from the things that you've done anymore."

Whoa - to think I actually had this down as 'Not Interested' for a time, and now I own the whole series on DVD. The miniseries that preceded and laid the vital groundwork for the 4-season series is a superb blend of action and human drama as mankind faces extinction at the hands of their own creation, the Cylons. You can find a synopsis of the show anywhere, so instead let me write here that if you're skeptical like I was, I encourage you to give the miniseries a try - there's a good chance it will blow your doubts to smithereens.

If ever a man deserved to have his world come crashing down around him, it's Chris the Irish tennis instructor of modest means who is befriended by an extraordinarily rich gentleman Tom, gets hired by Tom's father to a cushy job, marries Tom's sister Chloe, and proceeds to have an affair with Tom's fiancee Nola. This is a slow, slow, slooow burn of a movie, methodically told inch by inch. Woody opts for strict realism so regrettably there is no philosophizing about love versus lust, which leaves a rather cold & distant atmosphere. The entire film hinges on one brilliantly realized analogy between luck and tennis in one beautiful shot and the resulting outcome is not the one I expected. This single moment makes Match Point worthwhile, which otherwise is not distinctively different from other Postman Always Rings Twice entanglements. Jonathan Rhys Meyers echoes a young Ewan MacGregor as Chris, Matthew Goode fits Tom like a glove, but I felt self-consciousness from Scarlett Johansson as Nola - Woody's loose directing style with his actors does not suit everyone.

Hard to swallow the lengths these two police officers go off-duty in order to prove a senator's son was in a drug-fueled rage when he shot their partner. However, this is a French film so you don't know if it will turn out for good or bad, so that kept me watching through the draggy pace. Both leads Cecile de France and Fred Testot do a creditable job trying to track down the source of the glowing yellow drug called Sphinx but features little else to distinguish from a hundred other cop dramas.

Canadian mood thriller has three young adults in confined rehab experiencing the same day over and over - sort of a serious Breakfast Club meets Groundhog Day. Watched this because I enjoyed Amanda Crew in Sex Drive, this is a much different role and she performs very well - I knew she had some talent, although here I notice she's extremely scrawny. Legs like popsicle sticks! The two male leads are good as well, unfortunately the screenplay is not overly ambitious. To that end, the moral question "How would you spend your time knowing there would be no consequences?" is raised but can't decide whether to be philosophical or visceral. If the film is trying to act as a metaphor for our trio trapped in denial of their personal lives and can only move on once dealt with, it is more clever on paper than in execution. Northern British Columbia makes a decorative if overcast backdrop.

Iron Monkey closely resembles the Robin Hood legend while set in 1850s provincial China. Dr. Yang attends to the poor and needy at his clinic by day and robs from the cruel and greedy governor by night, returning the riches back to the local population. There's even a local sheriff determined to capture him, although the corrupt Chief Fox makes for an interesting character who sometimes shows sympathy for those who fall under the governor's wrath. And when renowned martial arts expert Wong Kei-Ying shows up with intent to claim the bounty on Iron Monkey, loyalties are tested after he develops a friendship with Dr. Yang and his aide Miss Orchid!

Iron Monkey, directed by the legendary Yuen Wo Ping, made a big splash back in 1993 and its influence could still clearly be seen in 2000's critically-acclaimed Best Picture nominee Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, on which YWP worked as martial arts choreographer. But whereas Crouching Tiger bogged down the time between its dazzling fight sequences with needless protracted melodrama, Iron Monkey was smart to never let the tone turn too serious. I'm not a fan of wire fu and the appearance of people performing triple backflips and jumping 40 feet high is by nature pure silliness, but it works very well in the context of Iron Monkey. The evil governor is evil in the same way a mustachioed silent-screen villain is and we can't wait to see him get his comeuppance, which occurs during a highly comical visit by Dr. Yang in disguise as his regional superior. There's plenty of action and broken furniture, and probably a few bones as well. And hopefully the burn unit was on standby as the climactic confrontation while balancing on wooden posts above a fiery floor looked really dangerous!

An endurance test, for both the main character and the audience. I didn't care for this film exercise without any real plot, hardly any dialogue, and often glacial pacing. Vincent Gallo deserves recognition for putting himself through the wringer, but I watched this because of Emmanuelle Seigner's prominent placement in the credits, so imagine my disappointment when she doesn't show up until the thing is almost over - and she's a deaf/mute!

What an oddball of a movie! Set during the early '60s but plays more like a detective story from the '40s, at least during the first half. Bridget Fonda is not an outstanding actress nor will she win a beauty pageant, but she's always held some inexplicable allure with me - Queen of the Plain Janes in a way. She does look her best as magician's assistant Myra who flees to Mexico with photographic evidence of her fiancee Senator Wyatt accidentally shooting her mentor. On her trail is P.I.-for-hire Ross, played by Russell Crowe still getting his feet wet in Hollywood. There is some great snappy banter between the two and they exude a nice sexual tension, and this section is the best part of the movie.

Then we meet Doc Ansell, amusingly played by Jim Broadbent, who wants to enlist Myra to acquire the secret formula to an elixir with magical properties from a reclusive woman who chants on a mountainside, and things get really goofy. A man turns into a sausage, a woman lays an egg that hatches a spider, a guy instantly drops dead, a dog speaks, people levitate, and a woman coughs up her heart. I have no idea what director Clare Peploe's grand design was for Rough Magic - many of these elements are fun but so bizarre it's hard to discern the function to the form.

This movie has gotten raked over the coals here on Flixster, and there is some justification, but it certainly is more entertaining than most bombs. Some great dialogue and chemistry between the leads buoy the original yet crazy developments; you could do a lot worse on a rainy day than by turning on Rough Magic.

Fond documentary about people obsessed with crossword puzzles, including thoughts from famous enthusiasts like Jon Stewart, Ken Burns, and Bill Clinton. Culminates with the annual national crossword competition of 2006 in Connecticut where all competitors seem like pleasant if somewhat dorky individuals. I enjoy crosswords, but if you want to see an engrossing docu that showcases a competition in a pastime in which you have absolutely no interest, check out The King Of Kong instead.

"Gia, this is real life, not Heaven - you don't have to be perfect."

If there's anything I find more boring and irrelevant to me than the fashion world, it's the personal lives of those involved in the fashion world, so you can see what an uphill battle this film had to fight to grab my attention. Gia tells the true story of Gia Carangi, a name probably unfamiliar to many but in the late 1970's was considered to be the first "supermodel." We follow her from her rocky upbringing to short-order cook in Philadelphia, and then catching a photographer's eye and moving to New York at 17, and then shooting to meteoric fame in the following years gracing the covers of such magazines as Vogue and Cosmopolitan, only to find herself abandoned, addicted, alone - and much worse.

Angelina Jolie's persona has achieved such mystique that it's easy to forget what a firecracker she was as a relatively unknown actress during the mid-to-late '90s. Her starring role as Gia irreversibly put her on the map with a deserving Golden Globe win for this bold, moving, uninhibited performance. She makes us feel her pain as a young woman brought into a world of temptations without a safety net. She clutches at friends & family but only sometimes do they reach back, and she falls prey to the rampant drug culture of the era. But she fails herself too when given chances to pull herself out, leading down a grim path that doesn't terminate where we expect. The film takes critical jabs at this exploitative business of beauty and pulls no punches in dealing with her condition - Jolie looks absolutely ravishing in this movie, but for an equal amount of time she looks ghastly. Death in the movies is often quick; Gia does not afford its audience such an artificial luxury.

"You know that old joke that goes, 'How do you know when a junkie is lying? Her lips move.'

It's not funny."

Now for the completely superficial paragraph: unless you're a complete idiot, you're aware this movie has by far Angelina's most abundant nudity, at least in the unrated version. She really is stunning to look at if that's all you're after, and maybe you'll get engrossed in Gia's story too - it's a win-win. Remember the blond fertility doctor Juliet from TV's Lost? That's Elizabeth Mitchell and here she too gets naked and snogs Angelina, I don't know which she would rate higher on her list of career achievements. Lastly, a fun fact: who plays the part of Gia at 11 years old and bears a striking resemblance to Angelina? The surprising answer: Mila Kunis!

Doesn't hold up very well but set the blueprint for the buddy adventure movie that still gets made today. This thing is so testosterone-fueled that watching it with your girlfriend might turn her into a hermaphrodite. The only woman in all of India is Joan Fontaine whose only function is to annoy and emasculate her fiancee Douglas Fairbanks Jr. Meanwhile his "friends" try to trick him into re-enlisting in the regimental army for another 9 years - great guys, huh? But it's all lighthearted stuff, Cary Grant is awesome as usual as the scoundrelly Sergeant Cutter who wants to find a legendary golden temple that happens to be the HQ of a burgeoning Thuggee cult. You know the Thuggees, the Kali-worshipping maniacs from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Spielberg even ripped off the rope bridge scene from this movie! Good action scenes keep this afloat because some of the in-between moments, like the ballroom soiree, bring the movie to screeching halt.

Idiosynchratic meditation on the blues in the form of a man whose wife left him for his brother encountering the battered form of the town slut on the road outside his house and deciding to make her change her ways, even if that means chaining her to the radiator. Outstanding performances by Sam Jackson & Christina Ricci elevate this interesting yet deliberately paced tale a notch above your average movie experience.

A man has a near-death experience when attempting suicide and re-awakens with the ability to discern who is about to die next. Armed with a new purpose in life, he dedicates himself to saving those he can but soon discovers that his actions have grave consequences....

This DTV (direct-to-video) release employs a cast to entice any TV sci-fi fan starring Firefly's Nathan Fillion and Battlestar Galactica's Katee Sackhoff. I was disappointed to discover she doesn't have many scenes as 2nd-billing would indicate, but she's very good in her role as the nurse who tends to Fillion's physical and mental wounds, showing that she is not a one-role wonder during her impressive turn as Starbuck. But this is mainly The Captain Mal Show and Fillion does a steady job carrying the movie.

I wonder if this would have played better as a low-key suspenser in the mold of Unbreakable because there simply aren't enough thrills to stretch over 100 minutes. The soundtrack is crammed with the extrasensory "white noise" Fillion hears and sees which is a sound designer's creative dream but splits the effective-to-annoying ratio at 1:2. Moves at an unhurried pace and we often figure out key plot points minutes before Fillion does so we have to sit back and wait for him to catch up. Perhaps that's how the director managed to conjure a couple good jump-scares among the duds.

Although 90% nonsense, I enjoyed the story which takes a nifty unexpected turn. This is the first movie I've seen based on a recommendation from the guy who hosts Totally Twisted Flix and he didn't steer me far wrong, this is decent paranormal fodder. Especially if you're a Rush fan, where a children's choir rendition of "The Spirit of Radio" more than makes up for a rather muddled ending.

Classic title to popular slasher film that spawned two sequels and sadly does not live up to either accolade. Truly terrible musical cues and more false moments of danger than any 5 other horror movies combined sap most attempts to build tension. Some of the lemons are so ridiculous - a drill comes through a girl's bedroom door, but wait! It's a carpenter putting in a new peephole! And a butcher's knife rises above another girl outside carrying firewood, but wait! It's the next-door neighbor out cleaving snails because they get in his garden and "this is the only way to kill them"! Man, they sure could've used an internet back in 1982.

There are 3 moments of inspiration: a woman banging on the window of a van as two students walk away, blood trickling under a door giving away a girl's hiding spot, and a body not quite discovered in the refrigerator. The rest is mostly routine mayhem with poor acting, a vanilla killer, and so-so effects on a tiny budget. Interesting factoid that this was directed by a woman, which is rare in the horror genre, but you won't recognize any feminist slant to it.

"Let's not mistake popularity for infamy."

Nathaniel Hawthorne's 'The Scarlet Letter' and John Hughes' 1980s films get a sharp & funny 21st-century mashup within the halls of a California high school as Olive Pendergast watches her little white lie of a one-night stand explode into a reputation that only Madonna could comprehend. Emma Stone is perfect as the quick-witted Olive who perpetuates the myth more to help the outcasts at her school than to boost her own ego but finds that carries an unexpectedly heavy price. You simply don't see this level of sophistication in a teenage comedy about sex (which shouldn't be confused with any moronic teenage sex comedy.) The jokes are as consistently clever as the method of telling the story with Olive recounting her ordeal via webcast.

Despite the setting, Easy A's core demographic should come from people 19-29 and while rated PG-13 there is a significant amount of sex talk, including Amanda Bynes providing the funniest exclamation of an STD you will ever see. The supporting adult cast is great too, from Lisa Kudrow as a morally conflicted guidance counselor to Stanley Tucci & Patricia Clarkson as Olive's uniquely offbeat yet caring parents.

I've watched this 3 times and there is never a dull moment, not a second is wasted - it is funny throughout, touching at the right moments, incisive at times, and an ending that hits a home run. On first viewing I almost thought it was too smart for its own good, but imprison me on MST3K's Satellite of Love before I penalize a movie for that. For my money Easy A is the best insightfully comedic examination of high school since Fast Times At Ridgemont High, and only Phoebe Cates' red bikini is keeping that one on the ballot.

"My lord, your bride is over 3000 years old."
"She said she was 19!"

That's the kind of humor that is sorely missing during much of this Conan the Destroyer wannabe with Kevin Sorbo sporting a wig that looks like it came from the tail of a horse with a serious farting disorder. At least Tia Carrere is hot as a reincarnated fire demon out to reclaim her kingdom. The awful hard rock riffs on the soundtrack during action scenes are a big minus. Otherwise the only difference between this and a sword-and-sandal flick filmed in two weeks in Argentina is a $20 million budget. You're better off catching an episode of Hercules: The Legendary Journeys.

Really fun & informative documentary detailing a branch of the profitable 1970s exploitation market and the pros and cons of filming in the Philippines. These are the locations that spawned the popular women in prison (WIP) genre including Big Doll House, Women in Cages and Big Bird Cage and talks with the actors, directors, and crew about their experiences. John Landis offers the most hilariously glib observations and we also hear from Sid Haig, Joe Dante, and the low-budget producer extraordinaire himself Roger Corman. The films were profitable in part because they were so cheap, cutting corners by having dangerous stunts performed by untrained actors, primitive living and working conditions, and borrowing the Filipino army for big action scenes!

Favorite title: Jeanie Bell starred as the black ass-kicking heroine in TNT Jackson, so following its success what do you call a film starring a white ass-kicking heroine? Firecracker!

Trashy Theater Time: D-grade no-budget horror-comedy with nudie-film star Misty Mundae as stripper-turned-commando Crystal. Sound fun? You betcha! A jokey script helps turn a routine mutant-bugs-on-the-loose scenario into a silly romp with a host of goofy characters: Ralph the super-slimy club owner, strippers Trix the nearsighted & unfazably doped-up Amber, Buzz the humane exterminator, a crazy ("Don't call me crazy!!") rogue DEA agent, and Teresa the shady businesswoman with a hammy Noo Yawk accent. Mundae & Julian Wells are perfectly aware of what kinds of dumb movies these are, and their willingness to play along like they're in on the joke makes all the difference between a waste of time and a fun waste of time.

Successful entry in the Hammer horror vault due to very artful direction by Brian Clemens who also wrote the intelligent script. Kronos (Horst Janson), he of the too-tight trousers and too-short tunic, arrives in a village where young women are found in the forest with withered faces, drained of life. Is this the work of a new species of vampire? Hunchbacked professor Grost (John Cater) and wild beauty Carla (Caroline Munro) accompany Kronos as he roots out this menace in the 18th century.

There are many violent acts but interestingly very little is shown onscreen, apart from a fairly competently staged sword duel. Instead we see the aftermath - blood dripping down a lampshade or a basket of broken eggs carried by a victim - which doesn't give much of a visceral thrill but I appreciated its unusual cerebral style. I also liked how the identity of the vampire(s) are not who you might suspect at first, so the surprise ending was genuinely a surprise!

The "two sides to every story" adage gets put to work in this British mystery as a quartet of prep school students, in an attempt to blow off a field trip and have a private secluded party, find themselves locked in an old war bunker. We wonder if this is by accident or by intent, and who is responsible, and I liked how we are kept guessing for a long period of time, but as time passes the circumstances become less believable than Thora Birch's attempt at a posh English accent. Nice try but gets thrown out trying to stretch a single into a double. Additionally worth watching for the comely Keira Knightley in one of her earliest roles.

As an avid Gilliam fan, ultimately Dr. Parnassus rates as a mild disappointment, but you still get to experience a particular weirdness you won't get from other movies. At times somewhat chaotic and confusing, but it wouldn't be a Gilliam film otherwise, would it? But here he seems remiss due to curtailed storytelling - what exactly are the Doctor's powers and where did he get them? Christopher Plummer is absolutely terrific in the title role, I can see him as understudy for Ian McKellan's Gandalf without missing a beat. Heath Ledger goes out in his final role with flamboyance as Tony, a man with a cloudy past, and I loved the substitute appearances of Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell. Tom Waits also shines as Mr. Nick the Devil, I was amused that this devil carries a cigarette lighter. The giant traveling Imaginarium on wheels is a sight to behold, and the fanciful fantasy sequences will linger in the memory. Lacks the biting satire of a Brazil or the bittersweet flavor of The Fisher King, but does approach Baron Munchausen entertainment territory.

Three moody, disturbing 40-minute films from Asia make up Three...Extremes with a director from China (Fruit Chan contributing "Dumplings"), Korea (Chan Wook Park "Cut"), and Japan.(Takashi Miike "Box.") All three qualify as "thinking man's horror" films and much different from what we have come to expect to see in similar American movies. All move slowly - at times painfully slowly - but the subject matter is just as stomach-churning as any splatterfest. I found all three engrossing (pun intended) but with unsatisfying conclusions of varying degrees.

Box is the slowest of the lot yet its densely mysterious tale left the greatest impression. I have wanted to get my first taste of Miike, and Box demonstrates a masterly skill of composition and unusual storytelling. Dumplings is probably the most unsettling, and Cut the most graphically violent. Reflecting upon them a few days later I'm tempted to increase my rating, but for now feel I should stick with my first considered evaluation as the distance has softened the borderline-oppressive pacing. I would recommend it to those wanting to see something cerebral in the horror genre, especially the haunting Box. Furthermore, I'm still trying to figure out all the endings which is a reliable indicator of substance.

As a musical, Burlesque shines; as a story, there's not much to it. Iowa girl heads to LA seeking fame on the stage where she finds an opportunity at a burlesque club in financial trouble Can it be saved before the bank forecloses? We've seen this oh-so-tired premise a thousand times, and while that can't be forgiven at least they come up with a rather unique & clever resolution.

Christina Aguilera survives in her screen debut as Ali, not being asked to do too much on the acting front. The times things go really wrong is the clumsy romance she develops with Cam Gigandet - those scenes seem written by a junior high student, whereas the rest of the script is surprisingly good with some genuine feeling. Very weird contrast. Point of example is the fond relationship between club owner Cher and her stage manager Stanley Tucci. They both deliver quality performances, but as many have implied, this movie could serve as a PSA against the dangers of Botox with Cher's face frozen in a single expression. Kristen Bell is largely wasted and ineffectual as the bad girl.

This may be the last place we see the slinky Aguilera as the toll of motherhood and divorce have since swelled her figure. Always been amazed that such a huge voice could emanate from such a petite body! These songs are terrific, perhaps the best soundtrack for any musical, and there are a lot of them. Cher contributes two impressive tunes and Xtina belts out the rest which range from jazz lounge to RnB to electropop. I'm a little disappointed they didn't record her singing live though, especially since the reason Ali gets her break is because she can sing and not just lipsynch like the other performers. Oh well, the kinetic stage show probably made that option highly problematic.

I would recommend listening to the soundtrack which I give 4 stars even if you aren't an Aguilera fan because the songs aren't typical of her recordings and really demonstrate what a great singer she can be outside of the pop sphere. It's certainly a damn sight better than her Bionic released the same year. And if you are a fan, then by all means check out the movie, you'll surely enjoy a lot of it.

The Challenge: Name ten great dramedies in motion picture history. All right, then name just five good ones. Difficult, right? They are as hard to find as a smile in a Sylvester Stallone movie. And that includes Oscar.

Fact is, serious drama and lighthearted comedy simply don't work well together, and such is the dilemma in The Dilemma which does not create the template for future screenplays to follow. Vince Vaughn is pretty good in the lead role and does what he can in trying to draw laughs and sympathies, often in the same scene, whereas Kevin James is unable to do the same and clearly miscast. The best decisions came filling the female leads, featuring the two most beautiful dark-haired, smoky-eyed early-40s actresses of our time in Jennifer Connelly and Winona Ryder; we're talking wish-fulfillment here! Connelly is typically excellent and gives the film the dramatic weight it wants to carry, but her work is partially capsized by the shifting tone. Cut out her scenes and reassemble them together as a short film and I bet you'd be impressed.

Better than most reviews led me to believe, The Dilemma contains half an amusing comedy and half a decent drama, but you can't have everything.

The incredible conclusion to the real-life story of three teenagers convicted of murdering three 8-year old boys in 1994. It is 15 years later and forensic advancements, particularly DNA analysis, might produce new evidence to overturn their sentences including Damien Echols' stay on death row.

The original Paradise Lost ranks among the best documentaries ever assembled. I did not see Part 2, but the events that transpire here in Part 3 probably render it inessential, I did not feel I missed anything significant. This conclusion not only offers closure but also provides stunning new insight about who the real killer(s) may be. Equally astonishing are the changes some of the key interviewees from Part 1 have undergone, particularly John Mark Beyers stepfather to one of the victims who was among the most bloodthirsty to condemn the Three and was actually cast by the filmmakers under suspicion as the actual killer. Now 15 years later, he is among the most vocal supporters in favor of releasing them!

Just like Part 1, another incredible human drama that exceeds the reach of any fiction, these films should be required viewing for every law student and law enforcement professional as a cautionary reminder of the very real lives at stake beyond names on a court document.

The days of Jaime Lee Curtis are long gone, Radha Mitchell reigns as the modern Queen of Horror Films. Adding Rogue to such quality scare shows as Pitch Black, Visitors, and The Crazies (and a lot of people also liked Silent Hill) cements this fact. It's amazing what a quality actress can add to a production, you'd think they'd try it more often.

The worst thing about Rogue is the title as we follow Radha's scenic boating party upriver into the remote backwaters of northern Australia where a giant crocodile does not take kindly to territorial invaders. Does a good job of establishing minor characters so that when they are eaten or rescued, we care a little bit about their fate. The scenery is breathtaking and I loved hearing Radha speak in her native Aussie accent. The rogue croc in question is never overexposed and the late-reel CGI is actually very convincing, only the final confrontation seems forced as a conventional necessity. A skilled & scary creature feature that eats all those anemic SyFy channel productions for breakfast in one giant-sized bite.