B

"Man, who da hell axed you to suck dat dick!?"

Facts: Cliff Gorman has 0 fans on flixster. Keith Prentice has 0 fans on flixster. Robert Pattinson has 24,312 fans on flixster.

God takes the shape of a woman and guts herself with a scalpel while breathing like Michael Myers then shits herself and we get to watch shit run down her leg for 3 minutes? how the hell could the world's most gifted filmmaker possibly show a scene after that and shock us?

To most people Basquiat was a man who painted and shit. To me, he was just some guy who went to college for a few weeks and learned that its fun to fuck up his current girlfriend's life by painting his important art on their not important purses, dresses, and even sometimes on a canvas like other more typical artists tend to paint on. in conclusion, may basquait be remembered as the tolerable artist he was, as a man who was in a band with Vincent Gallo for six days, and a man with no respect for the countless banks, restaurants, and record stores that he loved to spraypaint his trademark "Fuck off, corporations!" message on as he "shot himself up" into fame's dirty veins.

Oh my god. you know how every t.v. show of the last ten years has that character who just walks into a room and interrupts two characters conversation by saying "OH. MY. A-GODD." while this is undeniably hilarious, there is usually nothing very shocking to provoke it. its usually like, a white guy kissing a black girl, or a set of mysterious car keys on the kitchen table. but this time, its fur-realz. i saw this movie, and i said it like Hanna Montana's best friend says it.
Unfortunately, i don't care enough to write about it, and its likely this will never be read anyway. so ill just talk about Sam's psychic teacher or whatever. this guy is based on real-life people who claim to perform magic but never show you any tricks, play alot of call of duty and criticize skinny peoples cooking. but this is helpful for Sam cause no matter how many people he kills with his time-morphing, this guy will still be at home eating cream-horns and watching Robot Chicken on his computer. he is the least significant movie character since "down syndrome kid #4" in the ringer. im just glad this movie had enough balls to mold that character after my 4th grade recorder teacher. he looks like the comic book guy from the simpsons. ok, shit. thats all. im not typing another word.

Ive seen Tom Green make out with several unattractive people, and now Brooke Shields. not a pretty scene. but it was hotter than the movie. all in all, as far as the male babysitting comedy genre goes, this ranks slightly above "the Pacifier" but not quite as high as "the spy next door" or "big momma's house 2". its more on the level of "Dickie Roberts: former child star".

There are way too many of these comedy central movies to possibly remember them all, but i know i've seen this bucket of shit.
"Dude, strippers love when you bring a dildo for 'em so they can put on a show, bro!"
can you imagine a person taking the time to write that into a screenplay?

I was told this movie was supposed to be BLAZING. instead its just kinda like, grilled with some sweet and sour sauce.

i honestly think watching this killed a few of my brain cells. I AM JON HEDER AND I LOVE MONEY!

WHEE DOGGEE SUNDANCE CHEATED!!!... oh ok lets see them ride horses in the river. WAIT WAIT BUTCH IS FIGHTING HIS OWN GANG!! .... oh nevermind now theyre riding bikes in the sunshine to Burt Bacurach songs. So its pretty hit and miss. Basically i watch westerns to NOT see cowboys riding pussy bikes in the stupid pussy green field and falling in love while NOT killing bad guys!

oh i remember kinda... this was when i was 10 and i realized that some people dont know theyre gay yet... that was Billy Elliot.

do u really have to recommend this to ME?

I have been watching this one nonstop for a year and am still unable to write a review. I cannot say anything about this movie, it is impossible to translate my feelings into words and then decide which of those words i would use and which i am too embarassed to use, because i am in love with this movie. I am wholly, madly, truly in love with everything that this movie is.

Generally, i dont relate to characters in movies. it just doesnt happen because i am a weird, skinny, nervous asshole with just a small branch of autism. sound familiar? it does if youve seen Buffalo '66. I honestly DO-NOT-CARE if anyone else sees this. this was made to help me through my miserable, sad life. God first made Vincent Gallo, then Vincent's parents fucked him up, then he moved to New York and evolved into the person he is, then made a movie about it, just so i would not kill myself after i graduated highschool.

No man is an island.

hilarious. witty. suspenseful. visually amazing. hot irish anorexic 90's prototype heroin-chic model's head exploding. guy gets his arm cut off twice- and its the SAME ARM. ultra badass vamp-slicing sword that dismembers all who are brave and dumb enough to pick it up. old ex-country singing mean bastard who can hardly walk, so he dedicates his life building the greatest weapons a vampire's ribcage has ever felt. a vampire-hating vampire who says seven words in two hours, but a thousand words with his walk. and of course, Deacon Frost. if theres not something for you to enjoy in this movie, then you probably listen to Lady Gaga.

this is like what i make after eating chinese food, a real big piece of crap that feels good.

acting is so solid. i am such a hoffman fan now. jsut wish they didnt use the same gimmicky flashback thing that vantage point used. no film should remind people of that turd.

wait a minute! this was actually pretty funny. (and hot) im starting to like Natasha Lyonne.

its hard to believe this was made by the same person who concieved the walking trilogy (lord of the rings)

pretty funny horror movie thats only like, 30 minutes long. i wouldnt expect this amount of dark humor from something from the 50's. and i dont know what t.v. show that Dick Miller guy was on, but i used to see it

this is good except for the fact that it helped spawn that cat-turd movie Catwoman

frankly i dont know what to make of this film

i think this was good wasnt it?

J-Lo can instantly ruin any viewing experience even if shes only in a film for like 10 minutes, which sucks cause shes in a few movies i wanna see. Put all that aside though, its actually pretty good. Stephen Dorff is a great actor and i could probably just watch him look for his car keys and be entertained. J-Lo has one line that sums up how ive felt about her since shes been acting
"Baby, you aint that stupid."
".... yes. i am!"
CLASSIC.

egg Mc-muffin?

Batman forever sounds like something Superman would scrawl on his 6th grade desk cause hes secretly in love with him.

Harrison force-feeds his cock to an android.

i used to like this movie. Please send me money.

one of the many reasons why i don't add people on flixster that i know in real life is because they could find out that i like movies that are embarrassing for the real-life me to enjoy. one of them being Bridesmaids. but goddamn, Kristen Wiig is funny and charming and snappy and witty and sexy. and i can type with a straight face that Melissa McCarthy is one of the most appealing actresses of the last ten years, but may never get a starring role. to the guys who hate chick movies, thats fine. see what you wanna see. but just know: a fat woman shits in a bathroom sink.

you would think with a poster like that, Sharon Stone would show her snatch again but instead you get old 45-year old boobs in a hot tub. not that i wanted to see her snootch anyway. i mean, i haven't seen the first one, and if i did i wouldn't care for it anyway cause chicks over 30 are just putrid, soggy, pieces of petrified pilgrim wood to me. you also get to see stone sit in a chair with it turned the opposite way all sexily and shit. and see the wide spectrum of emotions drawn on the canvas of her poor, saturated face. the one she likes to use alot is desperation disguised as seduction, but if you have seen Basic Instinct 2, and you saw it because you sought out to see it because you liked the first one then you don't care about her ball-fattening performance. what you care about is her Amityville clock, vampire-bat winged, baseball gloved snizzy. and you won't get that.

P.S.... 911th review, motherfuckers! im doing it for the victims of that cold september day. im doing it for freedom. if you're reading this review, you're helping support the troops.

if you don't like this, you've probably never been in love and if you love the movie, then you're a pretentious bastard.